Post by CJ on Aug 4, 2012 20:06:08 GMT -5
Well, it was either this or UFC on Fox, but considering that I suck at wrestling reviews, I knew an MMA review would be even worse.
WWF RAW is War
October 30, 2000
Boston, Massachusetts
Recap of a bloody Austin getting his ass kicked by Rikishi on Smackdown. Apparently, this was during the time that we were trying to figure out who Rikishi's accomplice was. I actually remember this. Foolishly, I thought it was The Rock.
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler.
Tonight Steve Austin will take on Rikishi in a Steel Cage Match.
Also, The Rock will face Chris Jericho in a Number 1 Contender's Match.
Chyna comes out to a mega pop to start the show. This Nostalgia is killing me. I was actually a huge Chyna fan when I was a kid.
Apparently, she's here to cut a promo. Jerry Lawler is creaming himself over the shower picture in Chyna's playboy.
She wants to show us something. King gets all excited thinking it's her Playboy. Recap of Eddie Guerrero making out with The Kat on Heat. Chyna thinks Eddie is confused. She's so totally over Eddie. She challenges Eddie Guerrero to an IC Title match. She talks about broken hearts and trust issues and whatever.
Eddie Guerrero comes out. He's got some flowers. Too bad those Flowers are for Miss Kitty.
Intercontinental Championship: Eddie Guerrero (c) vs. Chyna.
Chyna takes it to Eddie. Swinging Neckbreaker. Chynette distracts Chyna. Eddie throws her out of the ring. Chynette gets her cheap shots in. Eddie throws her back in the ring. Strong "Eddie Sucks" chants. Chyna lowblows Eddie. They trade blows with Eddie getting the advantage. Eddie goes for a back suplex, fail. Chyna with a back suplex of her own. Looks like that hurt Chyna more than Eddie.
Chyna with some forearm shots to Eddie. Hamspring Elbow by Chyna. Shitty DDT. Chynette is on the apron. Chyna throws her inside the ring. She Military Presses her onto Eddie.
Out of nowhere, Steven Richards superkicks Chyna. The ref didn't see it. Eddie pins Chyna to retain.
Winner: Eddie Guerrero (STILL Champion) *1/2
After the match, for seemingly no reason, Billy Gunn rushed out there and beats up Eddie.
An extremely long black Limousine has pulled up into the arena. Out come WWF Champion, Kurt Angle, Edge & Christian. Apparently, Edge & Christian have the night off & Angle doesn't even have to defend his title. A sick Stephanie McMahon comes out of the limo & wishes Edge a happy birthday.
Apparently, this is gonna be the best birthday ever.
Mick Foley's Christmas Chaos available every where books are sold and at WWFShop.com.
XFL ad, with an instrumental of Ezekiel Jackson's theme.
Al Snow wants Lawler to be his partner tonight against Raven and Tazz.
The Right to Censor (Ivory, The Goodfather & Bull Buchanan) vs. Team Xtreme.
Before the match, Ivory has an announcement. She talks about The Hardyz and Lita being bad role models for children.
The Hardyz are the tag champs while Lita is the Womens' Champion.
In this particular matchup, the ladies can wrestle the men.
Jeff fools around with B2 and The Goodfather. Ivory wants in, so Jeff tags in Lita.
Ivory whips around Lita by her hair. Drop toe hold by Lita. Blind tag by B2. Crowd chants for Lita. The Hardyz do some double team move on B2. Matt's the legal man and sooner or later, the heels get the heat on him. Goodfather & Buchanan look like a pretty good team here. They move pretty well.
Sloppy DDT by Matt. The Goodfather shoves Lita off the apron. The Ho-Train misses. Ivory tags herself in. Matt bodyslams her. Jeff tags in and beats up on the dudes. Poetry in Motion. Goodfather tossed outside. Lita spears Ivory. Triple DDT on Bull & Lita. They do some stuff, Jeff Swantons Ivory but runs into a Superkick by Steven Richards. Ivory pins Jeff to give her team the win.
Winners: The Right to Censor. **
Edge & Christian like what they see. Christian gives Edge his birthday presents. Kurt Angle is too worried about Stephanie to care about Edge & Christian's tomfoolery. Triple H barges in the room. Edge & Christian play Rock, Paper, Scissors while Trips & Kurt worry about Steph.
Tony Garea is talking to someone. Rikishi runs up to him and tells him to find The Rock for him.
European Champion, William Regal comes out. He's in a bad mood. He has a bone to pick with the Boston Tea Party. He talks about taxes, King George and good tea. He has prepared a list of 127 ways in which the people of Boston can improve their lives. He starts reading the list but only gets to number 3. The Undertaker interrupts him.
Apparently, he's back. Anybody wanna fill me in on where he's been?
Anywho, he gives Regal The Last Ride. He almost fucked it up, but whatever.
He's got something to say.
"Ya know, I think you talk funny."
...um, how?
In the lockerroom, The Rock is talking to someone on the phone. Rikishi barges in and wants to know if Rock got his message. Rock tells Rikishi to stay out of his life. Rikishi is appalled! Rikishi just wants some help. He wants to know if Rock has his back tonight. Rock says he does.
Earlier today, in the T&APA office, Test, Albert & Trish are decorating their new office. Crash Holly comes in and says some stuff. Some other stuff happens. It was stupid.
Hardcore Rules Match: Test vs. Crash Holly.
Trish Stratus is so gorgeous here.
They do some generic Hardcore Brawling.
Steve Blackman is shown watching backstage.
They do some other stuff. Tornado DDT on Test. Missile Dropkick gets a 2. Big Boot by Test. He poses to no heat and then gets a nearfall.
He places a trashcan over Crash's head and nails him with a Singapore Cane. Flying Elbow from Test and this one is over.
Winner: Test 1/4*
Backstage, Edge & Christian are still opening up presents. Kurt wants Stephanie to go home but she doesn't want to for whatever reason. Edge & Christian then start playing their theme song on Kazoos. Triple H is annoyed and wants them to leave, so they play Triple H's theme song. Unfortunately Triple H doesn't have a sense of humor.
Michael Cole is standing by with Stone Cold. Cole wants to know Austin's reaction to being attacked by the mystery dude on Smackdown. Austin basically invites the mystery guy to come on down so he can watch him whip Rikishi's ass.
Kurt Angle is glad he's not facing Austin tonight. Thankfully, Stephanie is going back to the hotel because she's annoying the fuck out of me.
Steel Cage Match: Steve Austin vs. Rikishi.
Big pop for Austin, but not what you'd expect.
Austin meets Rikishi on the outside, he beats his ass. Then he throws him into the cage and beats his ass.
Austin starts out hot, but Rikishi eventually cuts him off. He goes for a Stinkface, but Austin lowblows him. Austin clotheslines the hell out of him and Rikishi rolls out of the cage. Apparently, this is one fall to a finish. He rams the cage door into Rikishi's skull. Rikishi is busted open. Austin does it again and throws Rikishi back into the cage.
Right hands by Austin but Rikishi with his own lowblow. Superkick to Austin.
Austin tries to fight back but Kish cuts him off with a headbutt. Big Legdrop. Austin tries to fight back again, but an uppercut puts an end to that shit. Rikishi beats him up some more, but Austin rams Rikishi's head into the steel. Stunner and this one's over.
...that was short.
Winner: Steve Austin **
Austin drinks a few cold ones on his way out.
They sure made Rikishi look like a geek there. Sure he got some offense in there, but Austin bloodied him and beat him clean in like 5 minutes.
Stephanie says her goodbyes to Trips & Angle. Angle seems to think that him & Trips are on the same page. Well, they are not.
Al Snow gives Jerry Lawler a stack of Playboys.
Steven Richards vs. Mr. Ass.
Apparently if Stevie wins this match, then the "Mr. Ass moniker is no more. However, if Billy Gunn wins this, then Big Stevie Cool has to kiss his ass.
Mr. Ass is accompanied by Chyna and Mr. Richards is accompanied by Val Venis.
Gunn basically toys with Richards.
Gunn with a Jackhammer, but Val places Stevie's foot on the ropes. Chyna attacks Val, but Val throws her into the barricade. He was going to continue the assault by hitting her with a chair, but the ref put an end to that one. Chyna DDT's him on the floor.
Back in the ring, Gunn connects with The Fameasser. Eddie Guerrero rushes into the ring and hits Mr. Ass "between the eyes" with the Intercontinental belt. Richards puts his arm over Mr. Ass, putting an end to "Mr. Ass."
Winner: Steven Richards 1/2*
Somewhere, Mick Foley is doing something. He assures Chris Jericho that Kane will not be here tonight. As Jericho exits, Triple H enters. Triple H proposes a Non-Title match tonight between himself and Kurt Angle. Foley loves it when Triple H talks dirty, so I guess it's on.
Man, I completely forgot about Fanatix.
X-Pac and Tori are at WWF New York. They talk about some stuff and she slaps him.
Commissioner Foley is here. He talks about how stupid it is that 2 grown men are fighting over Stephanie McMahon. He says he booked the HHH-Angle match to make a few people happy. He also said that the winner of The Rock-Jericho match will get his title match on Smackdown.
He talks about some other stuff, and teases resigning. He introduces his new Lieutenant Commissioner, Debra. She looks really good.
In the lockerroom, Kurt Angle is getting ready for his match with Triple H. Edge & Christian want some cake after the show. Christian plays Angle's theme on his Kazoo.
Non Title: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Triple H.
Triple H is in awesome shape here.
Kurt Angle isn't even dressed to compete.
Triple H pounds away on Angle. Back body drop by The Game. He clotheslines him out of the ring.
They do some stuff. On the outside, Trips is still beating on Angle. Kurt goes for a Clothesline, fail. Neckbreaker by The Game.
Still, Triple H is owning this match.
Trips to the 2nd rope. He goes for something, but Angle catches him with an overhead Belly to Belly. Angle's now on the offensive. Triple H is thrown out of the ring. He rams Hunter's head into the steps.
They fight into the crowd for a little bit with Triple H gaining the advantage. Back at ringside, Trips is ready to put Angle through the announce table, and that's exactly what he does.
Trips rolls Angle back into the ring and beats on him some more. He throws the ref across the ring for the DQ.
Winner via DQ: Kurt Angle *
Angry at the decision, Triple H brings a chair into the ring to continue the assault. Apparently the referee isn't a fan of violence. Too bad Triple H is. Tim White eats a Pedigree.
Angle gets laid out with a chair. Edge tries to make the save and suffers the same fate. Christian eats a Pedigree. The crowd was super into this.
Yeah, Triple H just owned the WWF Champion and the top heel Tag Team. That was a bit much.
Michael Cole is standing by with The Rock & Chris Jericho. This promo is too great for my shitty recaps. This is basically the promo where they steal eachother's catchphrases and Rock talks about the Y2J Family. Awesome stuff. If you haven't seen it, go see it, you'll find it somewhere on YouTube.
Number 1 Contender's Match: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho.
The Rock won.
Winner: The Rock
After the match, Rikishi beat up Rock and blamed him for assaulting Austin on Smackdown.
WWF RAW is War
October 30, 2000
Boston, Massachusetts
Recap of a bloody Austin getting his ass kicked by Rikishi on Smackdown. Apparently, this was during the time that we were trying to figure out who Rikishi's accomplice was. I actually remember this. Foolishly, I thought it was The Rock.
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler.
Tonight Steve Austin will take on Rikishi in a Steel Cage Match.
Also, The Rock will face Chris Jericho in a Number 1 Contender's Match.
Chyna comes out to a mega pop to start the show. This Nostalgia is killing me. I was actually a huge Chyna fan when I was a kid.
Apparently, she's here to cut a promo. Jerry Lawler is creaming himself over the shower picture in Chyna's playboy.
She wants to show us something. King gets all excited thinking it's her Playboy. Recap of Eddie Guerrero making out with The Kat on Heat. Chyna thinks Eddie is confused. She's so totally over Eddie. She challenges Eddie Guerrero to an IC Title match. She talks about broken hearts and trust issues and whatever.
Eddie Guerrero comes out. He's got some flowers. Too bad those Flowers are for Miss Kitty.
Intercontinental Championship: Eddie Guerrero (c) vs. Chyna.
Chyna takes it to Eddie. Swinging Neckbreaker. Chynette distracts Chyna. Eddie throws her out of the ring. Chynette gets her cheap shots in. Eddie throws her back in the ring. Strong "Eddie Sucks" chants. Chyna lowblows Eddie. They trade blows with Eddie getting the advantage. Eddie goes for a back suplex, fail. Chyna with a back suplex of her own. Looks like that hurt Chyna more than Eddie.
Chyna with some forearm shots to Eddie. Hamspring Elbow by Chyna. Shitty DDT. Chynette is on the apron. Chyna throws her inside the ring. She Military Presses her onto Eddie.
Out of nowhere, Steven Richards superkicks Chyna. The ref didn't see it. Eddie pins Chyna to retain.
Winner: Eddie Guerrero (STILL Champion) *1/2
After the match, for seemingly no reason, Billy Gunn rushed out there and beats up Eddie.
An extremely long black Limousine has pulled up into the arena. Out come WWF Champion, Kurt Angle, Edge & Christian. Apparently, Edge & Christian have the night off & Angle doesn't even have to defend his title. A sick Stephanie McMahon comes out of the limo & wishes Edge a happy birthday.
Apparently, this is gonna be the best birthday ever.
Mick Foley's Christmas Chaos available every where books are sold and at WWFShop.com.
XFL ad, with an instrumental of Ezekiel Jackson's theme.
Al Snow wants Lawler to be his partner tonight against Raven and Tazz.
The Right to Censor (Ivory, The Goodfather & Bull Buchanan) vs. Team Xtreme.
Before the match, Ivory has an announcement. She talks about The Hardyz and Lita being bad role models for children.
The Hardyz are the tag champs while Lita is the Womens' Champion.
In this particular matchup, the ladies can wrestle the men.
Jeff fools around with B2 and The Goodfather. Ivory wants in, so Jeff tags in Lita.
Ivory whips around Lita by her hair. Drop toe hold by Lita. Blind tag by B2. Crowd chants for Lita. The Hardyz do some double team move on B2. Matt's the legal man and sooner or later, the heels get the heat on him. Goodfather & Buchanan look like a pretty good team here. They move pretty well.
Sloppy DDT by Matt. The Goodfather shoves Lita off the apron. The Ho-Train misses. Ivory tags herself in. Matt bodyslams her. Jeff tags in and beats up on the dudes. Poetry in Motion. Goodfather tossed outside. Lita spears Ivory. Triple DDT on Bull & Lita. They do some stuff, Jeff Swantons Ivory but runs into a Superkick by Steven Richards. Ivory pins Jeff to give her team the win.
Winners: The Right to Censor. **
Edge & Christian like what they see. Christian gives Edge his birthday presents. Kurt Angle is too worried about Stephanie to care about Edge & Christian's tomfoolery. Triple H barges in the room. Edge & Christian play Rock, Paper, Scissors while Trips & Kurt worry about Steph.
Tony Garea is talking to someone. Rikishi runs up to him and tells him to find The Rock for him.
European Champion, William Regal comes out. He's in a bad mood. He has a bone to pick with the Boston Tea Party. He talks about taxes, King George and good tea. He has prepared a list of 127 ways in which the people of Boston can improve their lives. He starts reading the list but only gets to number 3. The Undertaker interrupts him.
Apparently, he's back. Anybody wanna fill me in on where he's been?
Anywho, he gives Regal The Last Ride. He almost fucked it up, but whatever.
He's got something to say.
"Ya know, I think you talk funny."
...um, how?
In the lockerroom, The Rock is talking to someone on the phone. Rikishi barges in and wants to know if Rock got his message. Rock tells Rikishi to stay out of his life. Rikishi is appalled! Rikishi just wants some help. He wants to know if Rock has his back tonight. Rock says he does.
Earlier today, in the T&APA office, Test, Albert & Trish are decorating their new office. Crash Holly comes in and says some stuff. Some other stuff happens. It was stupid.
Hardcore Rules Match: Test vs. Crash Holly.
Trish Stratus is so gorgeous here.
They do some generic Hardcore Brawling.
Steve Blackman is shown watching backstage.
They do some other stuff. Tornado DDT on Test. Missile Dropkick gets a 2. Big Boot by Test. He poses to no heat and then gets a nearfall.
He places a trashcan over Crash's head and nails him with a Singapore Cane. Flying Elbow from Test and this one is over.
Winner: Test 1/4*
Backstage, Edge & Christian are still opening up presents. Kurt wants Stephanie to go home but she doesn't want to for whatever reason. Edge & Christian then start playing their theme song on Kazoos. Triple H is annoyed and wants them to leave, so they play Triple H's theme song. Unfortunately Triple H doesn't have a sense of humor.
Michael Cole is standing by with Stone Cold. Cole wants to know Austin's reaction to being attacked by the mystery dude on Smackdown. Austin basically invites the mystery guy to come on down so he can watch him whip Rikishi's ass.
Kurt Angle is glad he's not facing Austin tonight. Thankfully, Stephanie is going back to the hotel because she's annoying the fuck out of me.
Steel Cage Match: Steve Austin vs. Rikishi.
Big pop for Austin, but not what you'd expect.
Austin meets Rikishi on the outside, he beats his ass. Then he throws him into the cage and beats his ass.
Austin starts out hot, but Rikishi eventually cuts him off. He goes for a Stinkface, but Austin lowblows him. Austin clotheslines the hell out of him and Rikishi rolls out of the cage. Apparently, this is one fall to a finish. He rams the cage door into Rikishi's skull. Rikishi is busted open. Austin does it again and throws Rikishi back into the cage.
Right hands by Austin but Rikishi with his own lowblow. Superkick to Austin.
Austin tries to fight back but Kish cuts him off with a headbutt. Big Legdrop. Austin tries to fight back again, but an uppercut puts an end to that shit. Rikishi beats him up some more, but Austin rams Rikishi's head into the steel. Stunner and this one's over.
...that was short.
Winner: Steve Austin **
Austin drinks a few cold ones on his way out.
They sure made Rikishi look like a geek there. Sure he got some offense in there, but Austin bloodied him and beat him clean in like 5 minutes.
Stephanie says her goodbyes to Trips & Angle. Angle seems to think that him & Trips are on the same page. Well, they are not.
Al Snow gives Jerry Lawler a stack of Playboys.
Steven Richards vs. Mr. Ass.
Apparently if Stevie wins this match, then the "Mr. Ass moniker is no more. However, if Billy Gunn wins this, then Big Stevie Cool has to kiss his ass.
Mr. Ass is accompanied by Chyna and Mr. Richards is accompanied by Val Venis.
Gunn basically toys with Richards.
Gunn with a Jackhammer, but Val places Stevie's foot on the ropes. Chyna attacks Val, but Val throws her into the barricade. He was going to continue the assault by hitting her with a chair, but the ref put an end to that one. Chyna DDT's him on the floor.
Back in the ring, Gunn connects with The Fameasser. Eddie Guerrero rushes into the ring and hits Mr. Ass "between the eyes" with the Intercontinental belt. Richards puts his arm over Mr. Ass, putting an end to "Mr. Ass."
Winner: Steven Richards 1/2*
Somewhere, Mick Foley is doing something. He assures Chris Jericho that Kane will not be here tonight. As Jericho exits, Triple H enters. Triple H proposes a Non-Title match tonight between himself and Kurt Angle. Foley loves it when Triple H talks dirty, so I guess it's on.
Man, I completely forgot about Fanatix.
X-Pac and Tori are at WWF New York. They talk about some stuff and she slaps him.
Commissioner Foley is here. He talks about how stupid it is that 2 grown men are fighting over Stephanie McMahon. He says he booked the HHH-Angle match to make a few people happy. He also said that the winner of The Rock-Jericho match will get his title match on Smackdown.
He talks about some other stuff, and teases resigning. He introduces his new Lieutenant Commissioner, Debra. She looks really good.
In the lockerroom, Kurt Angle is getting ready for his match with Triple H. Edge & Christian want some cake after the show. Christian plays Angle's theme on his Kazoo.
Non Title: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Triple H.
Triple H is in awesome shape here.
Kurt Angle isn't even dressed to compete.
Triple H pounds away on Angle. Back body drop by The Game. He clotheslines him out of the ring.
They do some stuff. On the outside, Trips is still beating on Angle. Kurt goes for a Clothesline, fail. Neckbreaker by The Game.
Still, Triple H is owning this match.
Trips to the 2nd rope. He goes for something, but Angle catches him with an overhead Belly to Belly. Angle's now on the offensive. Triple H is thrown out of the ring. He rams Hunter's head into the steps.
They fight into the crowd for a little bit with Triple H gaining the advantage. Back at ringside, Trips is ready to put Angle through the announce table, and that's exactly what he does.
Trips rolls Angle back into the ring and beats on him some more. He throws the ref across the ring for the DQ.
Winner via DQ: Kurt Angle *
Angry at the decision, Triple H brings a chair into the ring to continue the assault. Apparently the referee isn't a fan of violence. Too bad Triple H is. Tim White eats a Pedigree.
Angle gets laid out with a chair. Edge tries to make the save and suffers the same fate. Christian eats a Pedigree. The crowd was super into this.
Yeah, Triple H just owned the WWF Champion and the top heel Tag Team. That was a bit much.
Michael Cole is standing by with The Rock & Chris Jericho. This promo is too great for my shitty recaps. This is basically the promo where they steal eachother's catchphrases and Rock talks about the Y2J Family. Awesome stuff. If you haven't seen it, go see it, you'll find it somewhere on YouTube.
Number 1 Contender's Match: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho.
The Rock won.
Winner: The Rock
After the match, Rikishi beat up Rock and blamed him for assaulting Austin on Smackdown.
