Agent P reviews NXT 2/28/2013

[CJ]

Jun 28, 2012 16:12:50 GMT -5 Agent P said:

NEXT WEEK: Kassius Ohno debuts and “two of the brightest young females take center stage”.

Kassius Ohno & Paige debuting next week!!

[Agent P]

NWA: Total Nonstop Action #8
August 7, 2002
LIVE! From Nashville, Tennessee

by Emerson “Welcome to The Happy Fun Store” Witner

SPOILER: Click to show

Contact me:

E-mail: [e-mail]
Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man
Twitter: @thereallyrealew

Current Champions:

NWA World: Ken Shamrock (since June 19, 2002)
TNA X-Division: AJ Styles (since June 26, 2002)
NWA World Tag Team: AJ Styles & Jerry Lynn (since July 3, 2002)
Miss TNA: Bruce (since July 31, 2002)

In case you missed it, here's what you missed last week on NWA: TNA....

-Jeff Jarrett, who was 7 days into a 60-day suspension, refused to go to a mandatory meeting. So, as punishment, Ricky Steamboat lifted the suspension and put Jarrett in the Main Event.

-Jerry Lynn sucked up to AJ Styles during AJ's match with Elix Skipper

-AJ Styles sucked up to Jerry Lynn during Jerry's match with Low Ki.

-That was until AJ officially turned heel by beating down his tag team championship partner.

-Elix Skipper went into a coma for 15 minutes, in the middle of the ring, and no one noticed.

-While Elix laid in a coma, Jeff Jarrett beat up a midget, which caused another midget, Puppet, to pull a gun on him. Thankfully Jeff used the one object known to disarm an armed attacker: a metal folding chair.

-It was a miracle! Elix was alive....until Monty Brown came down and killed him.

-James Mitchell carried a small box to the ring that was filled with wild sheep blood and smeared it on Sonny Siaki and Don Harris.

-The Truth changed his name to Ron Killings and said he is being held down because he is black. He also said Ricky Steamboat was held down in the WWF for some reason. Perhaps because he was white? Anyway Steamboat granted Ron a World Title match the next week.

-Bruce stood up for Eric Young, Cody Deaner, Harvey Whippleman and all of the men out there who are discriminated against for their gender and want to be Women's Champion and then defeated Taylor Vaughn to become the new Miss TNA.

-Goldylocks refused to show her bare breasts on pay per view, so Disco Inferno had Tough Enough alumnus Paulina choke her out.

-Finally we were all watching a giant cluster fuck when a one on one match happened. Despite interference by everyone under contract, Jeff Jarrett pinned Scott Hall.

And that's what you missed on NWA: TNA.

-The first thing we see as the show starts is Apollo punching a wall outside Rick Steamboat's office.

Match #1
6-Man Tag
The Spanish Announce Team vs The Flying Elvis Impersonators

We immediately go to the ring for a hot 6-man tag as Sonny Siaki allows Jimmy Yang and Jorge Estrada to continue to hang around him.

The Spanish Announce Team are Amazing Red, Jose and Joel Maximo.

The cocky member of the FEI clotheslines Red out of his boots. It's okay because Tenay thought it was Jose Maximo.

Estrada with a Split Legged Moonsault for a 2 count, despite Tenay saying he didn't go for the cover. A triple team Sit-Out Powerbomb on Joel, but the FEI threw him to the outside.

Siaki told his partners to step aside as he back dropped Red over the top rope onto the Maximo's.

Yang and Estrada reach for a tag on several occasions, but Siaki doesn't make the tag and instead does more moves.

Yang and Estrada left the apron and went to the announce table. Yang put on the headset and did a better job than Sonny a few weeks ago when he was huffing and puffing the whole time.

Siaki had the tables turned on him, as all three members of the Spanish Announce Team took their turns working over Siaki.

One Maximo slapped on a Surfboard, while Red splashed Siaki off the top.

Red got a 2 count off of a top rope splash. Siaki took over with a pump handle slam. Yang jumped up and offered to make the tag, but Sonny waved him off.

Despite the 3-on-1 advantage, the SAT could never finish Sonny off. The Maximo's hit a double team Spanish Fly and Red hit an Infra-Red, which is a twisting moonsault.

But before the three count could be made, Yang and Estrada got off their ass and ran in for the save.

Yang and Estrada take care of the Maximo's, but Red almost picks up the win with the Code Red. A Pier-5 Brawl breaks out, as Siaki stays outside the ring while the other 5 kill each other.

Yang and Estrada hit a double team splash/legdrop on Red and begin dancing. Siaki rolled in and picked up the win.

Winners: The Flying Elvis Impersonators
Time: 11:43

Tonight:

-Jeff Jarrett vs Apollo
-AJ Styles vs Low Ki vs Jerry Lynn for the X-Division Title
-Ken Shamrock vs Ron Killings for the NWA World Title

Earlier today Mike Tenay interviewed Apollo, who was angry about being jumped over for a World Title Match, despite being undefeated in singles competition. He had lost all “re-pet” for Ricky Steamboat.

-We go live to Apollo confronting Ricky Steamboat. The Dragon said he was busy and they will talk later. Ricky walks away when Jerry Lynn goes flying into the room and attacks AJ Styles, who just happens to be there.

Lynn and Styles fight all around the catering area until Bullet Bob breaks them up.

-Ricky Steamboat goes to the ring, but The Dupp's cut him off. Steamboat tells them to go do whatever it is they want to do.

Match #2
NWA World Heavyweight Championship
Ken Shamrock vs Ron The Truth Killings

21 minutes into the show and the World Title match is now. One fall, 60 minute time limit. Ed Ferrara says that due to satellite time they are going on early to give them all the necessary time. I so want a 60-minute time limit draw. Keep in mind, the longest NWA Title match in TNA so far has been about 8 minutes.

Shamrock successfully defended his title against Malice, Omori and Sabu, while Ron Killings has lost to Brian Lawler, Hermie Sadler and Scott Hall in the past 2 months.

The fans, who are all white mind you, are getting behind the racially charged challenger, chanting “Truth” while Shamrock beats on Truth better than he ever did Tito Ortiz.

Ricky Steamboat threatened to suspend Jeff Jarrett if he interferes. You see how well that worked last time.

Truth goes for the 10 Punches of DOOM, but Shamrock counters with a sit-out power bomb, but is unable to make the cover.

Ken hits a power slam, but only gets a 2 count. Shamrock with a messed up hurricarana before slapping on the Ankle Lock, but the Truth gets to the ropes.

The New Church have arrived! And by arrived, I mean they are standing at the entry-way and watching. This causes Don Harris and Monty Brown to go stand nearby to make sure more shenanigans don't occur.

The actual participants spill to the outside, where Truth blocks a suplex and hits one of his own.

Back inside and Shamrock locks on an armbar. Truth is nowhere near the ropes! But he refuses to tap. Shamrock, who may be moments away from putting Killings away, back drops Truth over the top rope and to the floor.

Shamrock and Truth fight on the floor and this leads to the New Church, Apollo and Don Harris to all run down and brawl.

Apollo hit Shamrock with a superkick! What was that? Shamrock gets rolled back in by Steamboat, who helps push everyone backstage.

In the ring Killings hit a Diamond Cutter and the ref drops down to make the historic count! Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a new World Champion!

Winner and NEW NWA World Heavyweight Champion: Ron The Truth Killings
Time: 9:17

What the hell just happened? Did Apollo mean to superkick Shamrock? Why did Steamboat roll Shamrock into the ring? But despite all that, Ron Killings becomes the 60th NWA Champion, the second of the TNA era and the first black man to hold the gold.

Truth celebrates into the night.

-Rick Steamboat returns to the ring and calls out Apollo, choosing now to talk.

Apollo finally comes to the ring and Steamboat tells him he will not run around here like a maniac. The Dragon announces that Apollo will get a World Title match.

But before a date could be set, Jeff Jarrett angrily walks out, saying he has been patiently waiting for his title shot, but keeps being passed over. Jarrett accuses Steamboat over reverse discrimination, that Steamboat is giving title shots to minorities over white people.

Yay racism!

Jarrett says he's not getting a title shot because he is not black, Puerto Rican or Hawaiian.

Steamboat says the bullshit will stop tonight. The Dragon makes Apollo vs Jarrett and the winner gets a World Title match with The Truth. Plus, in the Apollo-Jarrett match, Steamboat will be the referee.

-With that, it is time for Jive Talkin'. Disco Inferno comes out to discover that his furniture has been replaced by nothing.

This brings out the Dupps. Stan is riding a toy horse, while Bo carries a spittoon. Stan farts, which causes someone to laugh.

Bo announces The Dupp Cup, where the winner gets the spittoon. Bo talks about relatives Pop and Roun Dupp and Rick Steamship telling them to do whatever they want, so the Dupp Cup is the Hardcore Division.

The rules are...

-You need 10 points to win
-If you put someone through a table, it is 2 ½ points
-If it's a burning table, you get 5 points
-If you put your opponent's head in the toilet, it is 2 ½ points
-If it has shit in it, it is 3 ½ points
-If you goose a woman (grab her ass), it is 2 ½ points
-If you goose a man (grab his ass), it is 3 ½ points
-If you hit Jeremy Borash, you get 2 ½ points.
-If you hit the ticket lady, you get 2 ½ points.
-If you have sex with a farm animal during the match, you get 2 ½ points
-If you spank your opponent with the stick horse, you get 2 ½ points
-But if the person likes it, you lose 2 ½ points
-If you introduce an opponent to Jay, you get 2 ½ points
-If you cry like a big old pussy, you lose 5 points
-If you stick your opponent's head in the cotton candy machine for one full rotation, you get 10 points.
-If you take a foreign object from a fan and hit them with it, it's 1 point.

Stan Dupp then takes off his overalls to find out he is wearing a picture of Goldylocks on his shirt.

Stan wants a match with Disco, but Disco doesn't want to, so Paulina comes out and stands in between the Dupps and Disco.

Stan and Bo offer 64 cents to anyone who wants to win the Dupp Cup. No one accepted, so they upped the ante by saying the winner gets one night with Fluff Dupp. Ed Ferrara accepts the challenge.

Match #3
Dupp Cup
Ed Ferrara vs Bo and Stan Dupp

Ed starts the match by punching JB and goosing Don West, so he has 6 points already. Borash then jumps on Ed's back, but Ed threw him over the guardrail.

The Dupps fight back and take a chair from a fan. Stan and Bo both hit Ed with a chair, so it is 6-2. The fans are into this, encouraging the Dupps to beat Ed with things. Ed gets hit with a boot, glass bottle and a cane from an old lady to make it 6-5.

Stan then hits Ed with a blow up doll, which is 2 ½ points, while Bo tries to attack the ticket lady, but the ticket lady beats Bo with a stick.

Paulina then beats up Stan. Ed hits Bo with a Spear and then clocks Bo with a chair 3 times, which makes it 9-7 ½.

Ed goes for the stick horse. If Bo doesn't like the spanking then Ed wins....but Bo likes it, so Ed loses 2 ½ points!

Somehow the score is now 7 ½-5 ½ and the Dupps are in the lead.

Ed sets up a table, but Bo puts him through it, so that is 10 points!

Winners: The Dupps
Time: 5:42

What the hell did I just watch?

-Earlier today Mike Tenay interviewed Monty Brown. This was far from the crazy promos he would eventually do, talking about the Serengeti and the POUNCE......period to being soft spoken talking about losing two Super Bowl's.

Brown talks about the politics of the NFL not holding him down and is going and is not going to let the politics of wrestling hold him down either.

While Brown was talking shit about Ron Killings, he was attacked by Elix Skipper, who poured yellow paint on him.

Match #4
First Blood Match
Malice (w/James Mitchell) vs Don Harris

The match started at ringside as James Mitchell replaces Ed Ferrara at the broadcast table. Don and Malice fight to the concession area. If this was still the Dupp Cup, there would be a lot of points scored, as Don Harris encountered a sheep in the back.

No seriously, Don took a chair from a fan and beat Malice with it. Don and Malice fight into the crowd, but we cannot see them, but we do see a sign for Gameway Championship Wrestling.

Malice goes for a pile driver, but gets back dropped on the ramp. Before Don could do more, Slash ran out and attacked Don. Slash took out an ice pick and tried to bust open Don, but Don got it away and busted open Slash. Slash is wearing the crimson mask! Not that it matters, since he is not in the match,

Don fights off both Mitchell and Slash, including spilling the sheep's blood on Mitchell. Don hits a Black Hole Slam, but somehow is already bleeding, so he loses.

Winner: Malice
Time: 6:31

Just when you think you have seen every screw job, we somehow see Don Harris get busted wide open, despite never being hit with a move that would cause such a thing.

-Backstage Goldylocks is standing around when Sonny Siaki walks in looking for Steamboat. Bruce then storms into a nearby bathroom where he asks Taylor what was it like to lose to Bruce last week.

They start brawling, which leads to Bruce vs Taylor in an Evening Gown Match.

The segment isn't quite over as AJ Styles and Low Ki burst into the bathroom brawling.

Match #5
#1 Contender's Match
Special Guest Referee: Ricky Steamboat
Apollo vs Jeff Jarrett

Steamboat gets involved early as Jeff goes for a cheap shot in the corner, but Ricky catches him. Jarrett looks stoned.

Apollo goes for a cheap shot, but Steamboat stops him as well. Apollo does hit an Inverted Atomic Drop and sends Jarrett to the outside of the ring. Apollo went for a top rope WhatAManeuver, but Ricky demanded the match stay in the ring, so Jarrett tripped Apollo and pulled him outside.

In the middle of this match I received an e-mail telling me ways to sell my timeshare. That could be interesting. Especially since I do not have a timeshare.

Anyhoo, Jarrett reverses and Irish Whip, sending Apollo into the ring steps, busting him open. Jarrett went for a chair, but Steamboat made him drop it and go back in the ring. Ricky then rolled Apollo back into the ring. Hmmmm.

Back in the ring, both men exchanged chops. Apollo went for a Moonsault, but Jarrett tripped him up into the Tree of Woe. The Dragon unhooked him, but Double J clipped his knee and locked on the Figure Four!

Apollo's arm drops three times, but Steamboat doesn't call the bell, so Apollo reverses the hold.

A bloody Apollo is building momentum, nailing a swinging DDT. I was expecting the sloooooooooooow arm draping over Jarrett for a 2 count, but instead both men are up and Apollo continues the beating.

A wacky series of reversals ends with Apollo nailing the Superkick! Apollo with the cover! 1....................2.........................and Jarrett gets his foot on the ropes!

Apollo with a German Suplex and Steamboat makes the three count, despite Jarrett's shoulder shooting up, but it turns out Apollo's shoulders were down, so Jarrett wins!

Winner: Jeff Jarrett
Time: 10:10

After the match Steamboat explained what happened to Apollo, but Apollo was pissed. Scott Armstrong and a security guard who looked like a skinny Tony Mamaluke (imagine what that looks like) lead Apollo away.

Steamboat then announced that instead of Jarrett vs Truth for the World Title, next week we will have Jarrett & Truth vs AJ & Lynn for the Tag Team Championship.

Yeah, I'd be fucking pissed too at this point.

The fans chanted “bullshit” at this.

Match #6
Evening Gown Match
Miss TNA Championship
Bruce vs Taylor Vaughn

In case you aren't quite sure and/or forget, Bruce is a man and one-half of the Rainbow Express. Bruce comes out completely in drag, complete with blonde wig.

I really want Bruce to win this match.

Taylor with a pair of Atomic Drops, but Bruce scratches her back. Bruce with a standing vertical suplex, showing off Taylor's stockinged legs.

Bruce very painfully pulls off the evening gown. You know, because he is gay, thus taking off a girls clothes is yucky.

Winner and STILL Miss TNA: Bruce
Time: 2:03

I hope it reads in the Observer that week that the right person won.

Bruce then takes his dress off after the match and stands in the ring with his bare ass hanging out.

Don West grabs the mic for the big shill...

Next week on TNA:

-AJ Styles & Jerry Lynn vs Jeff Jarrett & The Truth

On NWATNA.com

-A new AJ Styles t-shirt for 19.99

-The very first TNA shirt

-A ball cap for 19.99

Don West suddenly makes me want to go back in time 10 years and buy a t-shirt and the August 14, 2002 TNA pay per view.

Match #7
TNA X-Division Championship
AJ Styles vs Jerry Lynn vs Low Ki

It is now time for the MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNNNNNNN EVENT!

Styles and Lynn, the tag team champions mind you, are feuding with one another. 8 weeks ago these three men teamed up in a losing effort in the very first TNA match ever, a losing effort against the Flying Elvis Impersonators.

A nice series of chain wrestling by all three men in the early part of the match. Lynn takes AJ up for the Gory Special and, while spinning AJ around, Ki ran in with a dropkick. AJ drops Ki with a Torture Rack Drop into a knee to the face.

Lynn almost gets the win 5 minutes in by reversing a Hurricarana into a Powerbomb to AJ. The most creative spot I have seen in years happened when Lynn went for a German Suplex to AJ, but Low Ki, scooped Lynn up with a school boy, which led to Lynn German Suplexing AJ for a 2 count, while being covered for a 2 count.

Ki reversed a German Suplex into the Dragon Clutch, first on AJ and then Lynn.

Lynn set up AJ on the top rope, but dropped him with a Draping DDT for a 2 count.

AJ and Ki exchange chops, but that seems to wake Low Ki up, as opposed to hurting him.

Lynn flipped AJ over, but AJ managed to catch Ki on the way down with a Scorpion Death Drop.

A beautiful Tower of Doom spot had Lynn giving AJ a Springboard Power Bomb, while AJ hit Ki with a Superplex.

All three men somehow, very smoothly, do the Eddie Guerrero-Dean Malenko series of 2 counts and reversals into more 2 counts.

Ki with a Hanging Dragon Sleeper to AJ, AJ appeared to be tapping out, but the move is illegal, since it is in the ropes.

Lynn fights out of a Dragon Sleeper that Ki had locked on in the ropes. From that AJ hit an Asai Moonsault to Ki. Lynn then dove over the top rope, but AJ moved and Lynn got Ki.

Ki went for the Ki Crusher, AJ reversed it, but Ki hit Styles with the Styles Clash for a 2 count! Lynn then hit Ki with the Ki Crusher 99 for a 2 count. So, of course AJ hit Lynn with a Cradle Piledriver for a 2 count.

Low Ki went for the Cartwheel Kick...and there goes the referee! Lynn and Styles knock Ki out of the ring. AJ creeps outside and grabs a chair, brings it into the ring and clocks Lynn with it!

AJ went up top for the Spiral Tap, but Ki crawled in to make the cover. 1..................2..............AJ hits the Spiral Tap on top of both men! Ki bounces up and falls back on Lynn and the referee counted the third count! Low Ki wins the title!

Winner and NEW TNA X-Division Champion: Low-Ki
Time: 16:17

After the match, the two losers continue fighting with each other. While that is happening Truth and Jarrett are being held apart from fighting backstage. These men have to team up next week in an effort to win the tag team titles...and we are out of time!

This show....I don't know. It is impossible to rate a show that had such obscenely bad stuff like Bruce vs Taylor and the Dupp Cup, but had such an amazing match like that Main Event. It all cancels each other out.

Anyway, until next week, I am off to Orlando (in a cyber sense) for NXT! See ya Thursday!

[Agent P]

WWE NXT
July 5, 2012
LIVE! From Full Sail University

by Emerson “You can tell from the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man. No time to talk” Witner

SPOILER: Click to show

Considering how late I am writing this report (just before Midnight) you would think I went to Vegas for the F4W Convention. No such luck.
Before I begin, I do want to thank Dave Meltzer for his kind words last weekend on Wrestling Observer Radio.

Onto the show!

So in the past two weeks I have reviewed 10 different matches, 9 of which were 5 minutes or less and were a jobber match. Will that trend continue tonight?

Jim Ross and Byron Saxton are your announce team. I said that last week. I wonder if half way through the show we will get one random match called by JR, Mr. Regal and Chris Russo.

Match #1
Sofia Cortez vs Paige

Sofia is Ivelisse from the last season of Tough Enough, who bowed out from injury. Paige is British wrestler Britani Knight and is a very pretty dark haired girl.

Sadly Paige got the jobber entrance, but so did my boy Tyson Kidd on Monday and he won in 30 seconds!

Paige, a second generation wrestler, started training at the age of 13. That doesn't help you when Sofia takes you over with a hurricarana 34 seconds into the match. Sofia backed Paige into the corner, the referee was told to, and I quote “knock it off” when he tried to pull Sofia away.

Paige with some knife edge chops, but Sofia kicks her in the mouth, before finishing her off with a brutal looking DDT.

Winner: Sofia Cortez
Time: 2:22

Match #2
Camacho (w/Hunico) (w/out bicycle) vs Seth Rollins

This was described as a “High Flier vs A Brawler”. I am trying to figure out which is which.

JR notes that Seth has loads of potential, but potential does not buy you groceries. I know that for a fact. I went to my local grocery and tried telling the cashier that I had loads of potential, but they insisted that I paid with cash.

While I wrote that funny banter, Rollins got a 2 count with a school boy and then negotiated a near fall. I am not sure what he gave up in order to get that near fall, but we will find out.

Camacho knocked down Seth and dropped a big leg. Not quite sure who is the high flier yet. Seth shoved Camacho away, but the son of Haku kicked him in the mouth.

Camacho talked mad shit as he grounded Seth. Rollins exploded from the mat and connected with a kick to the back of the head. Rollins with an STO to the turnbuckle and a running kick, but got distracted by Hunico.

Hunico hopped onto the apron, but collided with his man, so Seth hit the Black Out (a stomp to the back of a bent over opponent's head) for the win.

Winner: Seth Rollins
Time: 4:32

After the match Hunico ran in and we had a double team until Bo Dallas ran in for the save!

Match #3
Corey Graves & Jake Carter vs CJ Parker & Nick Rogers

Corey Graves is Sterling James Keenan, a man who I once thought I heard Tony Chimel call “Sterling Fetus”. Jake Carter is the son of the man that some people occasionally refer to as Vader. Parker has a Ricky Ortiz afro and, despite what Wikipedia is telling me, is not a character played by Pamela Anderson. Before I get hate mail, I know that CJ Parker was Pam Anderson's character on Baywatch.

Our ring announcer changed her dress between matches. It's almost as if these matches were taped in a haphazard manner.

CJ rolled up Corey early, but Carter blind tagged in and got the heat on our lifeguard by kicking him in the back.

Graves and Carter think two moves ahead. I am sure they thought a long time before Graves decided to lock on a rear chin lock.

Rogers tags in, but gets taken down with a spine buster by Carter. Graves and Carter finish off Rogers with Bottom's Up, a Powerslam/Neck breaker combo.

Winners: Corey Graves & Jake Carter
Time: 2:34

JR hypes up the debut of Chris Hero...I mean Kassius Ohno, who is a knock out artist. I smell another squash match coming up...

Match #4
Kassius Ohno vs Mike Dalton

As I mentioned, Ohno is former ROH Tag Team Champion Chris Hero, now with hobo beard. Dalton is a trainee of Mr. Regal's favorite former tag team partner: Lance Storm.

Before the bell rings, JR makes it look like I am not doing research, by pointing out Dalton was trained by Lance. This must have been late in the taping, as there are plenty of empty seats all over the arena. I am sure not everyone has the patience of me.

Ohno hit a Stinger Splash and a diving clothesline, which I thought was going to be the finish, but alas it was not.

Dalton fights out of the Million Dollar Dream, but gets KO'd by a Discus Elbow.

Winner: Kassius Ohno
Time: 2:31

After the match Ohno took the mic and said he knocks people out. His catch phrase appears to be “When you see Kassius coming, it will be Oh No”.

A video package for Bray Wyatt airs. Of course Bray is Husky Harris and recently tore his pec and needs surgery. It's sad because I have been enjoying his promo videos.

Match #5
Derrick Bateman vs Jinder Mahal

It's a day after July 4, so it is time for the man who is here for two things: Chicks and America. Of course Jinder is the “brother in law” of Great Khali and is only hated by his brother in law during battle royals.

Derrick almost picks up the win in 27 seconds with a belly to belly overhead suplex. Alas Mahal kicked out and got knocked to the outside. Bateman with a beautiful Suicide Dive to the out, but Mahal gained the advantage before both men were back in the ring.

Derrick gets out of a Rude Awakening with a back slide and an Inside Cradle for a pair of 2 counts.

During the commercial break about 200 people came back into the arena, as most of the empty seats are full again. Hmmmmm.

Bateman got another close fall after a flipping neck breaker. He went for the DDD, but Mahal rolled out of it and became friends with the bottom rope.

Mahal, back up, with a knee to the back and the Camel Clutch for the win!

Winner: Jinder Mahal
Time: 4:04

After the match Jinder put Bateman back in the Camel Clutch and the referee ripped him off of Derrick.

Because Hunico interfered and Bo Dallas made the save, our main event is....a 6-man tag?

During the break, we saw Alberto Del Rio's all time favorite Raw moment, which was DX invading the Norfolk Scope, where Nitro was taking place that night, while Raw was up the road in Hampton Roads, Virginia. That was really cool when I was 13. I wonder if AOL Time Warner could sue Vince again for putting the fake “Free Tickets” sign up. Or would Vince have to sue himself, since he owns WCW? Oh well.

Match #6
Tyson Kidd, Seth Rollins & Bo Dallas vs Hunico, Camacho (still w/out blinged out bicycle) & Michael McGillicutty

Remember when I said, about 700 words ago, this:

Jim Ross and Byron Saxton are your announce team. I said that last week. I wonder if half way through the show we will get one random match called by JR, Mr. Regal and Chris Russo.

Well, for this, the MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNNNNNNN EVENT! Mr. Regal and Chris Russo randomly replace Byron Saxton.

One fall, 10 minute time limit. I wonder what would have happened had Hunico and Bo not gotten involved in that other match? There wasn't a main event already scheduled?

Anyhoo, my pick for the Money In The Bank Ladder Match, pulls off a Hurricarana on Hunico in the opening minute before Hunico took him down with a Gory Special.

Hunico didn't stay on top long, as all three babyfaces got their licks in, before Camacho distracted Rollins long enough for Hunico to give him a knee to the back.

Seth got up long enough to tag Bo Dallas in. Bo hit a clothesline to Camacho that Camacho took a bump for before Bo came within 5 feet of him.

MMG, who trains with Brad Rheingans in his off time, takes down Bo and works on him. Hunico with a double underhook back breaker, which looked a lot more impressive considering how small Hunico is and how deceptively big Bo is.

The son of Curt Hennig beats on the nephew of Barry Windham. One of them doesn't think rap is crap.

Tyson Kidd gets the hot tag and kicks Michael in the head and a running dropkick to Hunico and Camacho, who were sleeping on the ring apron.

A pier-6 brawl breaks out on the floor, so Rollins does a flying cross body block to Hunico, Camacho and Bo.

Michael chop blocks Tyson and picks up the win with his running neck breaker.

Winners: Michael McGillicutty, Hunico and Camacho
Time: 9:53

That is it for the show.

So in three weeks I have watched 16 matches. 12 were outright squash matches,, 1 was tonight's Jinder-Bateman bout 1 was the 6-man tonight, 1 was Tyson vs McGillicutty from 2 weeks ago and 1 was Bateman vs Curtis from last week.

I am just hoping something changes so I do not grow bored of watching squash matches.

Anyhoo, that is it for Full Sail this week. Until next Thursday if you have any questions, comments, concerns or emotional outbursts, send 'em my way at [e-mail], on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man or by following me on Twitter @thereallyrealew!

[Agent P]

NWA: Total Nonstop Action #9
August 14, 2002
LIVE! From Nashville, Tennessee

by Emerson “Emerson Witner” Witner

SPOILER: Click to show

Contact me:

E-mail: [e-mail]
Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man
Twitter: @thereallyrealew

Current Champions:

NWA World: Ron Killings (since August 7, 2002)
TNA X-Division: Low-Ki (since August 7, 2002)
NWA World Tag Team: AJ Styles & Jerry Lynn (since July 3, 2002)
Miss TNA: Bruce (since July 31, 2002)

In case you missed it, here's what you missed last week on NWA: TNA....

-Sonny Siaki was left all alone when fellow Flying Elvis' Jimmy Yang and Jorge Estrada joined the broadcast booth and left Siaki to a 3-on-1 beating.

-That was until Siaki was about to lose, then Yang and Estrada jumped back up and rejoined the match.

-Apollo and Jeff Jarrett were pissed that Ron Killings got a World Title shot and more so that he was the one to defeat Ken Shamrock for the gold, although that was after everyone and their mother brawled at ringside.

-Ricky Steamboat made Jarrett vs Apollo with the winner “getting Killings next week”.

-That turned out to be a bait and switch (on pay per view, no less), as once Jarrett won the match, he was told that it would be Jarrett and Killings vs AJ Styles & Jerry Lynn for the tag team titles.

-Speaking of the champs, AJ defended his X-Division Title against both Jerry and Low-Ki. Low-Ki won after AJ gave him the Spiral Tap while he was pinning Jerry.

-Ricky Steamship told the Dupp's to do whatever they wanted, so they created the Dupp Cup, in which “no pussies are allowed”.

-During the first Dupp Cup match, Bo Dupp defeated Ed Ferrara by a score of 10-5 ½ because Ed lost 2 ½ points when Bo liked getting spanked by a stick horse, when Ed was moments away from victory.

-Monty Brown got beat up by Elix Skipper, who then poured paint on the Alpha Male.

-Don Harris somehow got busted open in a First Blood Match, despite not being touched.

-AJ Styles, Low Ki, Bruce and Taylor Vaughn all fight in the women's bathroom.

-Thank the heavens, Bruce then defeated Taylor in an evening gown match to remain Miss TNA.

And that's what you missed last week on NWA: TNA.

The first things we see are signs saying The Truth Is My Bitch and Pimp Daddy Is Here.

-The show opens with the champ entering the ring. Ron says we are now in his house and this house is called the TNA Asylum. Last week he became a damn legend, saying he came to TNA a very bitter man, saying he wasn't sure he'd get the opportunities he deserved.

Killings said that while in the WWF he was told he could not make the same mistakes everyone else made because he was black. Truth points out that there is still prejudice in the world, but eventually everyone is given an opportunity and when you do, you take advantage of it.

So is he now a baby face?

Oh and if someone is prejudice they are probably not going to give you an opportunity if they are prejudiced against you.

Anyhoo, Killings gets interrupted by his tag team partner: Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett says he is Killings worst nightmare and the only reason they are where they are is because Jarrett is white.

Jarrett says he has been robbed week after week and now he wants his World Title shot.

Truth lays down the belt and tells Jarrett to come get it.

Before anything could happen, out came Bill Behrens, an oversized cowboy hat, Don Harris, Bullet Bob and a shit load of security.

Bill gave the most nonsensical promo given in pro wrestling history, causing Jarrett to almost fall over in laughter. Bill said he was in charge and said he didn't care what Jarrett and Truth did, but it wouldn't be sanctioned by the NWA and it won't be for the World Title.

Jarrett threatened to beat the fuck out of Bill Behrens, when he was attacked by Brian Lawler! Lawler, who when we last saw him was friends with Jarrett, beat the snot out of Slap Nuts all over the ringside area.

The greatest moment in TNA history occurred next as Lawler tried grabbing a chair from a fan, but the fan wouldn't let go of it. After the longest 20 live seconds in pay per view history, where Brian was unsuccessful in taking the chair away from the fan, Don Harris ran over to lend a hand.

As everyone was led away, Brian screamed that he knows what Jarrett had done!

Match #1
6-Man Tag Team Match
Kid Kash, Shark Boy & Slim J vs The Spanish Announce Team

Slim grabbed his balls on the way to the ring. He allegedly weighs 190 pounds, but I think he weighs less than Michelle McCool.

Twenty minutes into the show and we have our first match. Suddenly WrestleMania XXVII isn't too bad.

Kid Kash and Jose Maximo start the match by giving each other slaps and a series of arm drags. Jose offers him a handshake, but Kash flips him off.

Joel gets back dropped over the top rope, but trips on the ring apron and almost falls face first into the guardrail.

A giant dive sequence featured Slim J doing a moonsault onto the SAT and Kash doing his springboard flip dive onto all 5 men. Thankfully his partners don't mind being given a springboard flip dive by their partner.

The move of the millennium then occurred where Jose hooked Slim J's legs like a surfboard, but gave Shark Boy a Boston Crab on top of J. Joel came over and put a Camel Clutch on J, while Red hit J with a baseball slide dropkick.

What the hell would you call that?

J then missed a WhatAManeuver on Red, a Pier-6 Brawl broke out and after a sloppy sequence of moves, Jose dropped Shark Boy on his head and then Red pinned J with Infra-Red after the Maximo's gave him the double team Spanish Fly.

Winners: The Spanish Announce Team
Time: 10:37

-Backstage Goldylocks interviewed The Dupp's. Stan told her to give her a blow job, so she hit him in the balls with a microphone.

Bo wants to start a show like MTV Cribs and call it Shitters. You'll never believe what they showed. Apparently they brought a port-a-potty that their grandmother shit in 5 years ago, saying someone would be shoved in it.

-We go from something to....something else, as Miss TNA, Bruce, enters the ring in his evening gown from last week. Bruce says his penis makes him more woman than any woman in the world, including Mike Tenay's wife.

He challenges any woman from the crowd. If any of them could pin him, he will give her the Miss TNA crown and a check for $5,000.

After turning down someone toothless and someone with big boobs, he challenges an elderly woman and then a butch woman.

Jeremy Borash happened to have a release for butchy woman to sign. How convenient.

Match #2
Miss TNA Crown
Bruce vs Butch Woman

Butch starts by spearing Bruce and then dropping a leg on him. Much to the delight of the crowd, Butch threw Bruce over the top rope and to the outside.

Back in the ring, Bruce picked up the win with a small package.

Winner: Bruce
Time: 1:51

-Goldylocks interviews Jeff Jarrett backstage, who says he didn't do a damn thing to Brian Lawler. Jeff then finds Bill Behrens taking a shit in a stall and shoves him down. Low Ki walks in to use the shitter, Jarrett calls him Kojak and leaves.

As Jarrett leaves we see Bo Dupp bump into a midget and says they will settle things tonight.

Exactly how much of this show was Jerry Jarrett still writing? I know it was him and Vinny Ru trying to work together at this point.

Match #3
Last Man Standing
Malice vs Don Harris (w/Nazi t-shit)

Nothing like a Last Man Standing match that wasn't announced ahead of time. Better yet, why the hell is Don Harris wearing a shirt with the SS logo on it?

History lesson: The Schutzstaffel (or SS), which translates to Protection Squad, was an organization under Hitler and the Nazi Party, which was responsible for many of the crimes the Nazi's committed between 1939 and 1945 and considered one of the most powerful organizations in the Third Reich, which is the name for Nazi Germany.

So to summarize this match for you, it is a devil worshiper vs either a Nazi, a Nazi Sympathizer or a complete fucking moron. Perhaps 2 of 3.

And just a reminder: the Nazi is the baby face, while the devil worshiper is the heel.

All of the Disciples are banned from the arena tonight. I wish I was as Don hits Malice with several unnecessarily hard unprotected chair shots.

Devil worshiper fights back with powder. The devil worshiper is beating the Nazi with a chair. Malice pulls out a conveniently placed chain, which was under the ring. Don got the chain and choked out Malice.

Don then sets up a table. I am calling it! Styles Clash off the ramp and through the table. Wait, sorry, confusing this for a good match.

Malice gave Don a Back Suplex through a table. Despite that Don beat the 10 count and Malice didn't.

Winner: Don Harris
Time: 7:07

After the match Don and Malice fist bumped.

-Backstage Goldylocks announced that Teo will be the one to face the Dupp's in the Dupp Cup. Turns out Stan is afraid of midgets.

Match #4
Dupp Cup Match
Bo Dupp vs Teo

The rules are...

-You need 10 points to win
-If you put someone through a table, it is 2 ½ points
-If it's a burning table, you get 5 points
-If you put your opponent's head in the toilet, it is 2 ½ points
-If it has shit in it, it is 3 ½ points
-If you goose a woman (grab her ass), it is 2 ½ points
-If you goose a man (grab his ass), it is 3 ½ points
-If you hit Jeremy Borash, you get 2 ½ points.
-If you hit the ticket lady, you get 2 ½ points.
-If you have sex with a farm animal during the match, you get 2 ½ points
-If you spank your opponent with the stick horse, you get 2 ½ points
-But if the person likes it, you lose 2 ½ points
-If you introduce an opponent to Jay, you get 2 ½ points
-If you cry like a big old pussy, you lose 5 points
-If you stick your opponent's head in the cotton candy machine for one full rotation, you get 10 points.
-If you take a foreign object from a fan and hit them with it, it's 1 point.

Teo started the match by headbutting Jeremy Borash in the balls and then hit him with 2 foreign objects, so it is 4 1/2-0

Teo hit Bo in the balls with the stick horse, which he did not like, but got no points. Stan then cried like a pussy, so the Dupps lost 5 points.

It is 4 ½ to Negative 5.

Bo got 3 quick points, to bring his score to Negative 2. Stan gave a board to a fan, who gave it back to Stan, so the board is in play. Bo hit Teo with the board and Stan goosed Don West, so the Dupps are at positive points.

Stan tried to hit the ticket lady, but she beat him with a broom.

Bo tried to put Teo's head in the shit filled outhouse, but Puppet the Psycho Dwarf was there and hit Bo, shoving his head in the shit filled port-a-potty, which means that Teo has 10 points and the win!

Winner and NEW holder of the Dupp Cup: Teo
Time: 4:18

I seriously need the last 25 minutes of my life back.

Match #5
Detroit Street Fight
Monty Brown vs Elix Skipper

Nothing like a Detroit Street Fight here in Nashville. Brown hung Elix over the top rope with his shirt 40 seconds in, which apparently is what happens in Detroit.

Elix picks up a stop sign and instead of hitting Monty with it, he threw it into the ring, along with several other weapons.

Monty then tossed a trash can lid to Elix, so Prime Time used it on Brown.

Fast forward some long minutes and Brown won by hitting an Alpha Bomb to Skipper on a trash can.

Winner: Monty Brown
Time: 5:42

-Goldylocks interviewed The Flying Elvis Impersonators about them having an X-Division Title Match. While Estrada and Yang yapped, Siaki stood in the background, with his back to them.

Sonny then pointed out that Elvis died on a toilet and The FEI is about one thing and one thing only: Sonny Siaki. Siaki, a member of the FLYING ELVIS IMPERSONATORS, talked about how much Elvis sucked.

Match #6
X-Division Championship
Four Way Elimination Match
Low-Ki vs The Flying Elvis Impersonators

It took until the match had started for Tenay to actually explain this match. They made it sound like it was a 3-on-1 Handicap Match for the title, until it was mentioned seconds into the match that this was a 4-way match.

Ki kicked Siaki in the head, but Sonny caught Ki and hit a power bomb for a 2 count. Jorge tagged himself in and hit a running Shooting Star Press for a 2 count of his own.

Estrada went for a Lionsault, but Ki got his legs up and then hit a series of kicks to Jorge's head for a 2 count.

Yang came in and got a brief amount of offense, before Ki kicked him a few times. After 5 minutes, we finally saw Elvis vs Elvis as Yang and Estrada worked on each other. Estrada hit a Tornado DDT, but Yang used his head to bounce off the mat and eventually locked on a Boston Crab for the tap!

ELIMINATED: Jorge Estrada (6:45)

Low Ki is back in, but didn't fair much better as Yang hit a Missile Dropkick, but as he went for Yang Time, Siaki tripped him up and Ki eliminated him with a Ki Krusher.

ELIMINATED: Jimmy Yang (7:56)

Siaki almost won the belt right away with a Samoan Drop, but Ki barely got out.

Ki with a springboard kick to the yap. Siaki then hit a Mortal Kombat-like uppercut. As Siaki came off the ropes, Yang kicked him in the back of the head! Ki rolled Siaki up and that was it!

Winner and STILL X-Division Champion: Low-Ki
Time: 9:22

-Earlier today Goldylocks traveled the roads in Nashville with Jerry Lynn. Lynn suddenly stopped at White Trash (the actual name of whatever store this was) and beat up AJ Styles.

-Back to live and it is time for Jive Talkin! Disco Inferno is out for the hottest (i.e. only) talk show on pay per view.

Disco introduces Dean Baldwin, who is the forgotten Baldwin brother. Dean puts over the X-Division, including Shark Boy. Dean insinuates that Goldylocks is a prostitute.

Dean is in Nashville working on a movie called Urban Heart Throbs starring Frank Stallone and Carrot Top.

Dean says that Kim Basinger is a screamer. Alec Baldwin and Kim had a three some, but before Dean could tell more, out came Brian Lawler who said “shit” a lot and then called Jeff Jarrett a son of a bitch.

Dean interrupts Brian and tells him that he is not giving out autographs and to please leave.

Brian Lawler then did what we all want to do to a Baldwin: beat his ass and throw him through the Jive Talkin' set.

-TNA Security grabbed Brian and then threw him out of the arena.

-Elsewhere The Dupp's are back...and so is Goldylocks. Stan says he is never coming back to the NWA because they lost the Dupp Cup.

Match #7
NWA World Tag Team Championship
AJ Styles & Jerry Lynn vs Ron Killings & Jeff Jarrett

The match starts as Lynn walks to the ring, he is attacked by his opponents. Now remember, this is the......MAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNNNNNNN EVENT!

After a minute of 2-on-1, AJ Styles finally ran to the ring and we have a 4-way brawl. Lynn clotheslines Jarrett, but that was after he aimed for AJ, but AJ ducked.

AJ sends the Chosen One outside and hits an Asai Moonsault to the outside. A total Pier-4 brawl is going on as no one, including the referee, is even bothering to make this an actual tag team match.

Lynn hits a bulldog off the top rope for a 2 when Jarrett broke it up. If Jarrett didn't want to team with Ron, why didn't he just let Lynn make the cover.

AJ with a discus clothesline to Lynn, but Lynn ducked and Jarrett got hit.

Finally that was the cue for everyone to make this a tag team match. I was at a hockey game and a tag team match broke out.

Tenay and Ferrara fought amongst one another as Lynn almost scored the pin on the World Champion with a roll up.

Lynn locked on a sleeper, but Jarrett reversed it.

Lynn slapped on the Figure Four, but Jarrett reversed that. Truth tagged in to continue the beating on Lynn. Jerry got a brief amount of offense, but Truth took him down with a side kick for 2.

After a mid-ring collision, Truth made the tag to Jarrett, and Lynn made the hot tag to AJ!

AJ decides to take out all his aggressions on the man who signs his checks. AJ goes for the Styles Clash on Jarrett, but Truth broke it up and a brawl broke out again.

The champs went for a double team, but AJ slipped on the top rope and smacked Lynn inadvertently.

Styles and Jarrett run a spot, but Styles took out referee Scott Armstrong!

Lynn nails the Cradle Piledriver on the World Champion, but Jarrett grabs Lynn and hits him with The Stroke!

AJ to the top and hits the Spiral Tap on Truth! Scott Armstrong crawls over to Jarrett and Lynn to count as a second referee runs in and counts AJ pinning Truth.

Both referees count three! What is gonna happen?

Decision: Draw
Time: 12:20

Bullet Bob Armstrong came out and said that due to the double pin, the Tag Team Titles were now vacated until further notice.

He also said next week it would be...

-Truth vs Monty Brown for the NWA Title

-AJ Styles vs Jerry Lynn in a #1 contender's match.

AJ and Lynn argued over stipulations. One fall will be a Falls Count Anywhere Match, one fall will be a No DQ Match and the third fall would be a 10-minute Iron Man Match.

Jarrett got pissed and demanded a match and Bullet Bob said he would have some sort of match next week.

Jarrett took the NWA Tag Titles and ran away with them.

Don West then shills next week's matches, adding that Low-Ki will defend the X-Division Title against Amazing Red and the Maximo's. Also Sonny Siaki will face Jimmy Yang 2 out of 3 falls.

After DW finished shilling, we went to the back where Brian Lawler has run back into the arena and threatened to kill Jeff Jarrett. The last thing you hear is Jeremy Borash thanking the fans for coming.

That is it for this week. So, after Raw I am not sure whether or not this show actually did suck or not. Welp, see ya Thursday for NXT!

[Volture is IN HELL]

error in thread title you put 2012

[Agent P]

Just read the review. lol

[Agent P]

WWE NXT
July 12, 2012
LIVE! From Orlando, Florida

by Emerson “It's just as you prophesied! The planets of our solar system, incinerating. Like flaming globes, Sigmund. Like flaming globes!” Witner

SPOILER: Click to show

When I was typing the part that you have skipped over, for some reason I wrote “WCW NXT”.

Welcome to what used to be the best hour of WWE all week, but damn has this show become boring. To be fair, it might still be the best hour of WWE all week, but that is whether you think “boring” is better than “ungodly awful”.

Your call. Onto the show!

-NXT 4 and 5 loser and ECW color commentator Byron Saxton and William Regal are your announce team...for some reason.

Match #1
Tyson Kidd vs Camacho (w/Hunico)

This Sunday at Money In The Bank, Hunico and Camacho get to do a job on the pre-show, while Tyson Kidd will shock the world by winning the Money In The Bank Ladder Match.

Tonight's main event is The Uso's vs The Main Event Players. Something tells me William screwed up there and I will be seeing Titus and Darren and not some random new team.

Hunico tries distracting Tyson early on, but Tyson side stepped a Camacho body splash and rolled up Haku Jr for a 2 count.

Tyson grabbed a leg, but Camacho kicked him off. Tyson nipped up and took Camacho right down in a safe looking version of the arm bar Zema Ion gave Dakota Darsow on Impact tonight.

Camacho is sent to the outside, where he has a meeting with Hunico. Tyson goes for a dive of some sort, but the heel duo scattered, so Tyson pulled up.

The referee ordered Hunico to the back, which greatly angered Hunico, so Tyson hit a flip dive over the top onto both men.

Back from a commercial break, Tyson is going for the Sharpshooter, but Camacho scurries to the ropes and rolls outside. As Tyson went for a clothesline where he runs down the apron, Camacho tripped him up, slamming Kidd face-first onto the ring apron.

The match passes the elusive 5-minute mark as Camacho stomps away on the sternum of Kidd. Continuing to work on that area, Camacho dropped Tyson rib-first on the top rope after a suplex. Camacho with an arm bar and slapping the ribs of Tyson. Reminds me of when I would do the same move to my brother. I wonder how much it hurts. Maybe I will ask my brother.

(EDIT: After asking my brother if he remembered me doing that to him, his response was “No I don't remember, you bastard. Hi internet” Well, he was the one who once asked me “Who the hell id Ben Kingsley?”)

Camacho nails a spine buster for a 2 count. So close to a victory by a guy who I don't think has won a match in WWE to this date.

Camacho misses a middle-rope leg drop, so Kidd kicks him in the thigh and head, before hitting a running dropkick to the bent over Camacho.

Tyson to the top, but Camacho crotches him and nails an impressive double under-hook suplex from the top rope. That has to be it! No! Tyson kicks out at 2!

Tyson nails a boot to the head and a Buff Blockbuster from the top rope...but Camacho kicks out and gets his foot on the bottom rope!

Tyson goes for the Sharpshooter, but Michael McGillicutty runs in from the back and distracts Tyson! Tyson knocks him off the apron, Camacho hits a DDT and, ladies and gentlemen, Camacho has won a match!

Winner: Camacho
Time: 12:08

It's okay, he is going to win Money In The Bank anyway...

-We see another Bray Wyatt video. Too bad that we won't see him for 6 months. This was promising, even if it was Husky Harris as a warped preacher.

-While I have this break in the action, you should go read Adam Barnowski's drunken review of WWE Superstars. Grab a bottle of Jack and a shot glass and enjoy!

-A Money In The Bank commercial aired, featuring John Cena's first ever Money In The Bank Ladder Match. I cannot imagine this will hurt more than being thrown on the metal of the Elimination Chamber or Big Show choke slamming him through a lighting tube at Backlash 2009.

-Raw 1000 moment with Hugh Jackman showing up and punching Dolph Ziggler. Hugh said this was a bigger deal to his friends than him being the host of the Oscar's.

-Backstage Matt Striker interviewed Justin Gabriel, who is coming back from his elbow injury. Justin said he plans on becoming a champion again. Next week he will face Heath Slater in the main event, which is Matt's way of telling him “You won't be a champion anytime soon.”

In walked Heath Slater who said he is on Raw week after week embarrassing legends like Sid, Vader, DDP, Cindy Lauper, Roddy Piper and “that other chick”.

Gabriel said next week he will embarrass Slater.

Match #2
Aiden English vs Bray Wyatt

Aiden did not get a jobber entrance this week. He is 0-1 here on NXT.

Bray did a promo on his way to the ring, saying in time we will understand exactly who he his and what he is capable of. Finally, after that we will understand what he is, but for now he is the angel in the dirt.

Bray had the referee remove Bray's Hawaiian shirt for him.

Bray slams Aiden's face onto his knee and then almost kills Aiden when throwing him out of the ring. Bray followed outside, laughing and beat on him. The fans are behind him, chanting “Wy-att”. I don't know how long they will be cheering for him, since he is a heel (and won't be seen for 6 months).

Bray with a corner splash, before dancing with Aiden and beating him with an STO. As he covered Aiden, he cradled his head, looking like he was protecting him.

Winner: Bray Wyatt
Time: 1:45

-Kassius Ohno does a promo talking about the fear of what the future holds...or something.

-The first SummerSlam commercial airs. August 19th in LA, in case you don't know. Alberto, Santino and Big Show are among the featured people for some reason.

-CM Punk vs Daniel Bryan this Sunday for the WWE Championship. Remember how excited we were one year ago for MITB? Is anyone even half as excited for this?

-Briley Pierce is interviewing NXT's newest Superstar: Richie Steamboat. Didn't he wrestle two weeks ago? Richie talked for a few seconds when he was interrupted by....someone whose name escapes me at the moment. They have a pull apart brawl.

In case you come to me for all your inside news (again, why the hell would you do that?) Briley is the brother of Dolph Ziggler.

-Did you know that when Raw debuted Kim Kardashian was 12, my future wife Katy Perry was 8 (so was I), Rihanna was 4, Miley Cyrus was 2 months old and Justin Bieber wasn't even born yet?

Justin didn't miss much. I bet Justin would have been a big fan of apartment wrestling.

SPEAKing of Apartment Wrestling (the first time in the history of the world that sentence has ever been written), Neal Snow, who helps create championship belts for various companies, including ROH, has a website where he photoshops old Apter Mags. It is a lot funnier than it sounds and it can be found at prowrestlingdesecrated.blogspot.com/

-A promo for Raquel Diaz is aired. She wears color and is a bitch. Oh and she is the daughter of Eddie and Vickie Guerrero.

Match #3
The Uso's vs The Prime Time Players

It is now time for the MAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNNNNNNN EVENT! Jim Ross joins Mr. Regal and Byron for this bout of two teams who have faced each other a lot, mostly on this very show.

The PTP's being back on NXT means only one thing. This show is now worth...millions of dollars.

This match has a 13 minute time limit, as that is all the time we have left in this week's show. It is ethnic diversity week on NXT, as the African American Team battles the Samoan Team while Asian Ref (who may be ECW legend Bao Nguyen) is your official.

Whatever his name is, the referee allows the Uso's to double team Darren Young without even counting to five to get one of them out. Darren drives Jey into the corner and makes the tag to Titus O’Neil.

Titus, who donates his time to many a charity, this week is bragging about the Save The Donkey Foundation.

Jimmy knocks Darren to the outside and while the PTP's regroup, The Uso's grab Darren's hair pick and besmirch it!

Darren rolls in and gets clothesline'd back out. Before our heels can do anything, Jey backdrops Jimmy over the top rope and onto the PTP's as we go to commercial.

After half a second of black screen, we are back and through the magic of television Titus is beating down Jimmy in the ring.

Darren with a Spinning Toe Hold as Jimmy slaps him in the chest. Jimmy gets a 2 count off a school boy. He could not make the tag to Jey, as Darren had knocked him off the ring apron.

Darren remains in control with a Step-Over Toe Hold. Remember when the Spinning Toe Hold won Terry Funk the NWA Title? If anyone tapped out to that in 2012, the crowd would suddenly be all “What the smurf?”

Titus tags in and goes to suplex Darren onto Jimmy, but Jimmy got his knees up! Jimmy dove for his corner, but Titus dove right on top of him to stop it.

After a brief flurry, Jimmy hit a back drop and made the medium-rare tag to Jey! The PTP's collide, Jey hits a super kick and a Running Hip Attack to Darren for a 2 count. Jimmy and Titus fight to the outside, that Titus gets the best of.

As the ref checks on Jimmy, the PTP's grabbed Jey and hit the Demolition Decapitation for the win!

Winners: Prime Time Players
Time: 9:48

And that is it for this week in Orlando. A step up as I was not overwhelmed by 6-7 squash matches crammed into an hour, even though I still have no bloody idea who attacked Richie Steamboat..

Anyhoo, we will see what happens next week and if you have any questions, comments, concerns or emotional outbursts, send 'em my way at [e-mail], on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man or by following me on Twitter @thereallyrealew!

[Pseudonymically]

Tyson Kidd vs Camacho surprisingly ruled. I loved that match

[Agent P]

NWA: Total Nonstop Action #10
August 21, 2002
LIVE! From the TNA Asylum in Nashville, Tennessee

by Emerson “This show has to be better than the last few weeks, right?” Witner

SPOILER: Click to show

Contact me:

E-mail: [e-mail]
Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man
Twitter: @thereallyrealew

Current Champions:

NWA World: Ron Killings (since August 7, 2002)
TNA X-Division: Low-Ki (since August 7, 2002)
NWA World Tag Team: Vacant
Miss TNA: Bruce (since July 31, 2002)

In case you missed it, here's what you missed last week on NWA: TNA....

-Despite being a heel, new NWA Champion Ron Killings cut a babyface promo about how if you work hard, you can achieve your goals.

-Bill Behrens wore a giant cowboy hat.

-Miss TNA Bruce talked about his penis and then defeated a butch woman from the crowd.

-Brian Lawler returned and yelled at Jeff Jarrett, saying it is his fault.

-Don Harris wore a nazi t-shirt to the ring for his match and then fist bumped his opponent, Malice, after winning.

-Teo defeated Bo Dupp in the Dupp Cup when Puppet shoved Bo's head in a toilet bowl that had shit in it.

-Stan Dupp, who was afraid of midgets, said he is not coming back.

-Low-Ki won a 4-way elimination match against all 3 Flying Elvis' after Yang grew tired of Sonny Siaki and kicked him in the back of his head.

-Brian Lawler crashed Jive Talkin and beat up a fake Baldwin brother.

-AJ Styles & Jerry Lynn vs Ron Killings & Jeff Jarrett ended with a double pin, so the Tag Titles were declared vacant.

-Bullet Bob Armstrong made a 3-fall match for this week between AJ Styles and Jerry Lynn where each fall would have a different gimmick.

-Finally, as Jeremy Borash thanked the fans for coming, Brian Lawler threatened to kill Jeff Jarrett.

And that's what you missed on NWA: TNA.

Match #1
Match 1 in Best of 3 Fall Series
Falls Count Anywhere
AJ Styles vs Jerry Lynn

Instead of having three straight falls, they will have 3 separate matches. The second match will be a No DQ match and the third match is a 10-minute Iron Man Match.

Complaints over a 10-minute Iron Man aside, this match starts off on the floor, with AJ and Lynn fighting all over the ringside area.

In the last two weeks AJ lost both of his belts without getting beat either time. The X-Title he lost when Low Ki pinned Lynn and he did the pinning in the double pin from last week.

Over the barricade go Lynn and Styles, as Jerry slams AJ head-first on the concrete for a 2 count. Good to know AJ has a thick head.

They fight into the audience and into the bleachers, where AJ tosses Lynn off the side of the bleachers, but only gets a 2 count. That's just great.

AJ throws Lynn back over the guard rail and goes for a Springboard Something, but Lynn trips him up, sending AJ crashing ribs-first onto the metal.

In the ring Lynn hits a Stone Cold Stunner for a 2 count. The fans didn't even pop for it. Lynn goes for a Powerbomb, but AJ does his best Billy Kidman impersonation and turns it into a face buster. If you don't get that joke, then watch any Kidman match where someone tries to give him a power bomb.

Lynn and Styles tumble over the top rope, which leads to a 2 count by AJ. They exchange chops while someone holds up a sign saying he wants to do some very lewd things to Goldylocks.

AJ goes for a spinning back fist, but Lynn ducks and hits a spear for a 2 count. Does nobody learn from Chael Sonnen missing that one?

Lynn blocks a Styles Clash on the ramp and hits a Cradle Piledriver to win the first fall.

Winner: Jerry Lynn
Time: 9:55

One fall in almost 10 minutes. I cannot wait to see how many falls we get in the 10-minute Iron Man Match

-Turns out Ed Ferrara is not with us tonight (or ever again). A combination of not wanting to work with Vince Russo again (they were on the outs) and money (which the company was very tight on) led to him leaving.

-Backstage Goldylocks is with America's Most Wanted, who have appeared out of the moth balls for their first ppv appearance in a month. Harris is smoking and is pissed about James Storm's stupid cowboy gimmick. Hooray Vince Russo!

Ron (not Don) Harris and Brian Lee come up and make fun of Storm. Storm is mad about Lee saying buckaroo since he is not a cowboy.

Oh boy did he come a long way.

Match #2
Ron Harris & Brian Lee vs America's Most Wanted

Brian Lee becomes the second person in the company to use the nickname “Prime Time”, after Elix Skipper. Let's see. Skipper is most remembered for the cage walk hurricarana, while Lee is most remembered for being the Fake Undertaker (and to a lesser extent being shoved off a scaffold by Tommy Dreamer).

As a reminder, Ron Harris is the twin brother of Don Harris and is not to be confused with the moron who wore the SS logo on his shirt last week. Nor is he related to Braden Walker.

Don talks about how good it is to see Lee back in the ring. I am convinced Don has never seen Lee wrestle.

Anyhoo Storm and Lee start things off. It quickly degenerates into a Pier-4 Brawl, with Chris Harris hitting a cross body off the top rope onto Ron Harris.

Ron gets the heat on Chris with a punch to the face. Don tries to put over that James Storm is that goofy in real life. Heat does not last long as Chris back drops Ron over the top rope and then back drops Storm over the top onto both opponents.

Back in the ring Lee hits Chris with a Tombstone for a 2 count. Storm gets knocked off the apron, so he runs in to help. The ref cuts him off and we get a heel double team on Wildcat.

Chris tries fighting out of a rear chin lock, but Lee cuts him off and the heels double team Chris again as Storm tries running in.

Lee gets a 1 count off nothing. He just went down and covered him with one hand.

Harris fights back and makes the hot tag to Storm. The match breaks down. AMW knocks Lee out of the ring. Lee staggers to his feet as some fan pats him on the back. Lee decides this is serious business, so he grabs the fan, drags him over the barricade and beats the snot out of him.

For some reason no one bothers to stop this, so Harris rolled up Harris, Chris pinned Ron and we have winners.

Winners: AMW
Time: 8:56

After the match Ron pulls Brian Lee away and they beat up AMW.

Match #3
2-out-of-3 Falls
Sonny Siaki vs Jimmy Yang (w/Jorge Estrada)

The Flying Elvis Impersonators have exploded!

The match starts on the ramp. 30 seconds in we are informed that this match is best 2-out-of-3 falls. I am trying to figure out why.

The referee leans against the guardrail as Yang beats Siaki all over the ringside area. 1:17 in and both men finally get into the ring. They both could have been counted out 7 times by now.

Yang shakes his ass before hitting a Missile Dropkick for a 2 count. Don wonders what is going through Sonny's head now. I am thinking “Would he stop kicking me in the head?”

Siaki takes off the top half of his Elvis costume, much to the female's delight.

But Yang hits Yang Time and wins fall 1.

First Fall: Jimmy Yang
Time: 3:24

Yang tried slapping on a head scissors on the ring post ala Candace Michelle, but Siaki shoved him off. Sonny hit a suplex on Yang on the outside.

Here is a question. We have determined that Siaki doesn't like Elvis and has broke away from the FEI, so why does he still wear his Elvis suit and come out to his Elvis music?

More chops and Siaki flings Yang across the ring with a pump handle slam. Siaki drops the leg, hooks a leg and gets a 2 count.

Yang with a back slide for a 2 count, but Siaki explodes up and takes Jimmy's head off with a clothesline.

Jimmy screws his head back on and then hits a “Flying Leg Attack” aka a Spinning Heel Kick. Despite that Siaki hits a Roll of the Dice for the fall.

Second Fall: Sonny Siaki
Time: 5:00 (total: 8:24)

Yang starts the third fall by rolling through and slapping on a Canadian Maple Leaf. Yang proves he is not Lance Storm as Siaki gets to the ropes.

Yang then slaps on a leg lock, but again Sonny to the ropes.

Siaki hits a superplex, but Yang jumped to his feet and nailed a Shining Wizard. Yang goes for the 10 Punches of DOOM@#$%! but Siaki grabs him and drops his face on the top turnbuckle.

Yang with a Neckbreaker off the top rope, but cannot make the cover. Yang with a small package for a 2 count, which causes Estrada to jump onto the apron. After a series of reversals Siaki grabbed the ropes and got the win!

Third Fall (and Winner): Sonny Siaki
Fall Time: 5:39
Total Time: 14:03

Before Sonny Siaki could even roll out of the ring, out comes Jeff Jarrett who is tired of being screwed out of championships. Before he could say much more, he is attacked by Brian Lawler! Lawler, Jarrett and 4 security geeks have a pull apart.

Lawler is pacing around the ring and Goldylocks storms into the ring and demands to know what Jarrett did. Lawler breathed on her and told her to get out of the ring.

Brian says he is about to tell us what Jarrett did. As Mike Tenay orgasm’s, Slash, for some reason, ran in and attacked Lawler.

Scott Armstrong, who now has the ability to make matches, runs in, calls for the bell and we have a match.

Match #4
Brian Lawler vs Slash

Slash beats the shit out of Lawler for close to a minute while I typed the preceding segment out. It turns out that James Mitchell is mad at Malice for losing to Don Harris last week (and pretty much every match he has had), so neither of them are here, leaving Slash as the only Disciple of the New Church here this week.

Lawler again fights with a woman at ringside who refuses to give him her chair. Back in the ring Slash hits a superplex for a 2. Slash with a Whirly Bird Power Bomb for a 2 count.

Lawler kicked Slash in the balls, so Slash punched Lawler in the balls. Slash places Lawler on the top rope, but Brian shoves him off and comes off with a Flying Legdrop for the win.

Winner: Brian Lawler
Time: 5:51

Backstage Jarrett is arguing with Bullet Bob. Bob tells him to take him down if he can.

Match #5
TNA X-Division Championship
Low-Ki vs Joel Maximo vs Jose Maximo vs Amazing Red

This was introduced by Borash as a one-fall match and by Tenay as an elimination match. Let's see what happens, shall we?

The SAT teams up for 7 seconds, but like any good movie hero, Low Ki beats on all three men. They decide it is best to stop trying to hurt Ki and hurt each other.

While watching the early part of this bout, I have been left to wonder who looks more like a 13 year old girl? AJ (WWE not Styles) or Amazing Red?

Ki hit the cartwheel kick on both Maximo's, Red hit a running Shooting Star on one for a 2 count. Red and Maximo A do some sort of ball room dancing, so Ki hits the Beautiful Disaster kick on Red.

An awkward series of moves between the three challengers ends with Red hitting a Hurricarana on one Maximo, throwing him into a second one.

Ki picks Red up in a Ki Crusher, but instead launches Red over the top rope onto both Maximo's. Ki then does a Spinning Twisting Flipping Something onto the pile of men outside the ring. Jose hit a sit out power bomb on Red, but for some reason Joel broke it up.

Joel then pinned Jose with a Tiger Driver

ELIMINATED: Jose Maximo (9:09)

Red hits Infra-Red on Joel and eliminates him.

ELIMINATED: Joel Maximo (10:04)

Ki kicks Red a whole bunch, but Red blocks the Ki Krusher from the middle rope. Red goes for a Hurricarana, but Ki blocks that and hits the Ki Krusher from the middle rope for the win.

WINNER: Low-Ki
Time: 12:04

-Backstage Goldylocks interviews The Truth. Truth says he and Monty Brown should be kissing his black ass.

-Next week Bruce will defend the Miss TNA crown against April Hunter.

Match #6
NWA World Heavyweight Championship
Ron Killings vs Monty Brown

Angry Black People stare at each other to start the match. Brown hits a crazy Stinger Splash a minute in. I don't think I have ever seen him do such a thing. Truth cuts off Brown, by making him go flying over the top rope and to the floor. Truth gets a running start and hits a flip dive to the floor.

Truth beats him over to the announce table. Brown recovers and goes for an Alpha Bomb, but Killings pokes him in the eyes. Despite being blind, Brown manages to hit a belly to belly over head suplex on the floor.

Back in the ring, Killings shook landing on his head off and hits a flying leg drop for a 2 count. He may be the World Champion, but he is no Brian Lawler.

A sunset flip and Brown comes 2 seconds away from being World Champion. Brown hits a suplex, but Truth is first to his feet.

Brown with a Running Powerslam and a big splash for a 2 count. A series of missed moves leads to Truth hitting a Scissors Kick for a 2 count.

Killings and Truth reverse each others moves and Ron rolls up Brown for the win!

Winner and STILL NWA World Champion: Jeff Jarrett
Time: 10:11

After the match Jeff Jarrett runs in and hits Brown with a chair. Lawler runs in as well and attacks Jarrett as Truth and Brown stand and watch.

Lawler goes to hit Jarrett with the chair, but Truth is pulled in the way and Lawler smacks Truth with the chair!

-Backstage Goldylocks is with Jerry Lynn. Lynn says it will all end tonight.

Lynn threatens to make AJ respect him, so AJ attacks him, which causes the bell to ring for Match 2.

Match #7
Match #2 of Best-of-3 Falls
Jerry Lynn leads 1-0
No Disqualifications Match
Jerry Lynn vs AJ Styles

If Lynn wins this, there will not be a Match 3 and Lynn will face Low Ki next week for the X-Division Title.

AJ, who refuses to respect Lynn I guess, beats Lynn down the aisle and into the ring. Lynn sets up a table outside the ring, but both men miss various moves, which includes AJ slamming ribs-first into the side of the table. That looked like it sucked.

While AJ chops Lynn, some dude (I think) in the bleachers holds up a sign that says “I Have A Penis”, which causes all of his friends to giggle.

AJ slingshot's Lynn head-first into a steel chair that was propped up in the corner.

Lynn goes for a Tornado DDT outside the ring and through a table, but AJ blocks hit, sends Lynn into the ring and hits a twisting splash for a 2 count.

Lynn rolls through for a 2 count, but AJ had hold of a chair and bonked Lynn on the top of the head for a 2 count.

Back to their feet and AJ goes for a home run blow with the chair, but Lynn ducks and hits a Van Daminator for a 2 count.

The fans only care about the damn table that was set up 7 minutes ago and are demanding it be used.

Lynn with a draping DDT, but only gets a 2 count, as he pulled AJ up. AJ is set up on the top rope, but Lynn gets punched off. Styles goes for a Spiral Tap, but Lynn backs into the ropes, crotching AJ.

Lynn hit a hurricarana to the outside and the fans got their damn wish and the table was broken.

Lynn rolls him in for the cover, but only a 2 count. AJ hits the Styles Clash to win the second fall.

Winner: AJ Styles
Time:11:04

Match #8
Match #3 of Best-of-3 Falls
Series tied 1-1
10-minute Iron Man Match
Jerry Lynn vs AJ Styles

The match starts immediately and AJ covers Jerry for a three count!

First Fall: AJ Styles (leads 1-0)
Time: 0:12

AJ then pinned him a second time.

Second Fall: AJ Styles (leads 2-0)
Time: 0:19

AJ went for a third fall, but Lynn kicked out! This match will go 10 minutes! How can these two men possibly wrestle for 10 minutes!?!?!?

AJ needs to just take a deep seat and ride this out. Remember when Taz said he would beat Nova in 30 seconds or would give Nova the ECW TV Title? To this day I wonder why Nova didn't just start running laps around the ring.

Lynn fights out of a 3 minute chin lock and scores a fall with a power bomb face buster.

Third Fall: Jerry Lynn (AJ leads 2-1)
Time: 3:45

Lynn goes for a Cradle Piledriver, but AJ back drops out of it. The 5 minute mark passes with AJ kicking Jerry, trying to kill some time.

Lynn gets up and hits a leg drop on AJ for a 2 count. Lynn to the top rope, but AJ stops him and hits an Outsiders Edge into a Facebuster for a 3 count, despite Lynn kicking out.

Fourth Fall: AJ Styles (leads 3-1)
Time: 6:31

AJ shows on his face that that was a fuck up by the referee, but hey, he is now 3 minutes away from victory.

Low Ki comes out to watch as we go to the 2 minute warning.

Lynn hits a Tombstone for a fall!

Fifth Fall: Jerry Lynn (AJ leads 3-2)
Time: 8:14

Lynn goes for a Cradle Piledriver, but it gets blocked, so Lynn hits a Styles Clash to tie things up!

Sixth Fall: Jerry Lynn
Time: 8:59

The last minute is a series of roll ups and reversals, with neither man scoring the final fall, so we get a draw.

Decision: Draw
Time: 10:00

And this best of 3 falls match ends with a draw.

Low Ki slithers into the ring and raises both of their hands, before kicking them back down. Ki says that next week it will be a 3-way Ladder Match.

-Five minutes left in the show, so Don runs down the card for next week.

Backstage referee Scott Armstrong is begging his dad to not fight Jeff Jarrett. Scott tells Goldy to get the fuck away from him, as she keeps sticking a microphone in his face.

-Two minutes left in the show, so Jeff Jarrett hits the ring and calls out Bullet Bob's surprise.

Out comes The Bullet. We are led to believe it is Bob Armstrong, but this is a masked wrestler and since it is insinuated that it is Bob, I am willing to bet it's not him.

Jarrett beats him down anyway, but as he goes for The Stroke, Bullet Hulk's Up and sends Jarrett flying out of the ring.

As Jarrett backed away, Bob Armstrong came down the aisle with a chair as the show goes off the air.

So The Bullet is not Bob Armstrong, so who is it?!?!?!?!

We will leave that mystery in the air until next week! Until then, see you Thursday for NXT!

[Agent P]

WWE NXT
July 19, 2012
LIVE! From Full Sail University

by Emerson “Grand Poker is giving out 1M free chips! Good luck everyone! (expires in 1 hour)” Witner

SPOILER: Click to show

Cheap plugs:

-Check AngryMarks.com every Tuesday for my incredibly awesome reports of the NWA: TNA pay per views. I just finished August 21, 2002 and this weeks show featured 100% less Nazi t-shirts and Dupp Cup's.

-Also, go read Adam Barnowski's drunken review of WWE Superstars on F4WOnline.com. It is quite funny and, if you have a bottle of booze lying around, you can join in the fun!

-If Bryan Alvarez gets killed by a Big Foot during his weekend expedition, I have volunteered to take over Figure Four Weekly. For everyone's sake (including mine) let's hope Chico turns out a-ok.

Onto the show!

-Byron Saxton and Mr. Regal are your commentary team. Tonight's main event is Justin Gabriel vs Heath Slater. Whoopee!

Match #1
Tamina Snuka vs Kaitlyn

It is the winner of NXT Season 3, who never got her promised title shot, vs the daughter of Jimmy Snuka, who once did a promo building a match with Rick Rude by talking about Rude plucking the wings off of a fly and eating them.

Tamina shows “shades of her father” by throwing Kaitlyn down by the hair. Somehow I doubt Jimmy did that much.

Kaitlyn with a leg lace and goes for a corner splash, but Tamina runs out of the way. I don't know if these two ever wrestled each other, but they are very tentative with going at each other, including Kaitlyn hesitating while running under Tamina into the corner and almost being kicked in the head.

Kaitlyn slaps on a body scissors, as William puts over the strength of her legs. Tamina battles back with a series of clotheslines and a body slam before indicating that she is going to go up top.

But Kaitlyn grabs her leg to stop her and slaps on an Abdominal Stretch, while lying on the mat. Tamina used her strength to impressively stand with Kaitlyn on her back, drop her with a Samoan Drop and polish off her foe with a Superfly Splash.

Winner: Tamina Snuka
Time: 5:20

-Raw 1000 clip with Chris Jericho talking about his original debut. I remember my 14-year old self marking out.

-A video for Big E. Langston airs. He talks about his strength and grip and telling us to take our beatings like a man.

Match #2
Jinder Mahal vs Percy Watson

Mahal has been undefeated on this new season of NXT and claims that he will take over NXT. Percy hasn't been seen since NXT Redemption ended, but, and I know you'll be really shocked by this, he looks exactly the same.

You know, we never did find out who attacked Percy, Bateman and Tyson Kidd's Various Partners Of The Week. Maybe it was Percy. I still don't know why he attacked himself, but whatever.

Percy hip tosses Jinder down, but begins showing off, so Jinder kicks him in the knee. Jinder with a beautiful double under hook suplex for a 2 count.

Percy gets out of a front headlock and hits some high dropkicks. After a body slam he hits The Heisman, but only gets a 2 count.

Percy hits a Springboard Splash to the mat, since Jinder moved. So Jinder hits a High Knee and slaps on the Camel Clutch for the win.

Winner: Jinder Mahal
Time: 4:03

Jinder turns to walk away, but stops himself and slaps the Camel Clutch back on. Before the referee could reverse his decision, he let's go and finally walks off.

Match #3
Richie Steamboat vs Leo Kruger

Ricky couldn't afford a ticket to the show this week, so his son is here by himself. Leo Kruger, by the way, is the answer to the trivia question of who the nameless dude who brawled with Richie last week was.

Leo claims that the fans at ringside smell, but he doesn't make a big deal about it. Perhaps whomever it was sprayed him/herself with Axe.

Before the match Leo takes great care in folding a sash that he wears to the ring. Leo chops Richie a bit to start the match, so Richie turns the tables and hits much harder chops to his foe.

Leo hit a schoolboy that sent Richie head-first into the turnbuckle, which turned a simple roll up into an offensive move.

Leo chops Richie, which William calls a slap in the face. No it's not. Leo could have literally slapped him in the face.

While I wrote that Richie gets a quickie 2 count with a small package, but Leo jumps to his feet and knocks Richie back down.

Steamboat nails an Inzigiri, but is slow to his feet. William was in the middle of telling a story and Byron cut him off to call the move, so Mr. Regal told him off.

Richie begins to build momentum, but Leo rolls outside to take a breath. After chasing each other around the ring, they roll back in and Richie hits a flying cross body, but Leo rolls through and puts his feet on the ropes to get the win!

Winner: Leo Kruger
Time: 4:29

-Raquel Diaz debuts tonight. She is kicking off the Exfoliating Ugliness Tour. Because, you see, she is pretty and hates ugly people.

Match #4
Raquel Diaz vs Paige

Raquel is the daughter of Eddie and Vickie Guerrero. She claims to be fashionably late to NXT.

They mess up the first move of the match, which is a drop toe hold. Raquel is wearing a lot of colors and sparkles. Paige, however, has skin that is whiter than milk and has black hair and a black outfit, so she stands out.

Paige goes for a kick to the gut, but is caught and thrown down. Raquel hits a Gory Special for the win.

Winner: Raquel Diaz
Time: 1:40

It wasn't until the end of the match and, as an after thought, that William said she was a Guerrero.

-Backstage Alex Riley is looking for catering when Aksana starts hitting on him. In walks Antonio Cesaro and Aksana claims Alex was hitting on her. They exchange threats and make a match for next week.

-A commercial for SummerSlam airs. If you haven't seen it, go see the “music video” for SummerSlam with the various wrestlers lip-synching to this years theme song, which is Don't Give Up by Kevin Rudolf. Kevin Rudolf has now had the official theme song for Royal Rumble 2009, WrestleMania 26 and SummerSlam 2012. He just needs to hit Survivor Series and he will have hit the Big Four.

Match #5
Justin Gabriel vs Heath Slater

It is now time for the......MAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNN EVENT! JR joins Byron and William at the announce table for the match pitting the former tag team championship partners in Nexus and the Corre.

One fall with a 10 minute time limit, as that it all the time we have left in the show. I wish the WCW TV Title was on the line, we may get a draw.

The only three people Heath has defeated all year are Derrick Bateman, Alex Riley and Doink. Can he add Gabriel to that list?

The two men fight with a head lock, both men countering and fighting out of it. Gabriel with a deep arm drag and twist to kill the continuity.

Justin goes for a Springboard Something, but Heath shoved him off the apron and Gabriel, who just came off the DL slammed his legs on the ring apron and fell awkwardly on the ground.

Thankfully he doesn't seem to have been hurt bad, as Slater gets him back in the ring and slaps on a rear chin lock. Gabriel fights out, but Heath drops him with a neck breaker.

Heath gets a 2 count off of an Irish Whip. Heath hits a knee to the face and a neck breaker from the middle rope for another 2 count. Heath misses a corner charge and Justin kicks him in the legs and head.

Justin hits a sit out power bomb for a 2 count. Heath with a Double A Spinebuster for a 2 count. Heath argues about the count and hits a front suplex for a 2 count.

Justin hits a back elbow and goes for yet another Springboard move and yet again Heath shoves him down and hits yet another neck breaker for yet another 2 count.

Justin finally hits a Springboard move, but it is a messed up AJ Styles Backflip-Reverse DDT combo, but that was the finish nonetheless.

Winner: Justin Gabriel
Time: 8:52

Not only did they have a messed up finish, they showed 3 replay's of it.

Anyhoo, that is it from Orlando this week. Here's hoping we get a storyline soon!

Until next time, if you have any questions, comments, concerns or emotional outbursts, send 'em my way at [e-mail], on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man or by following me on Twitter @thereallyrealew!

[Agent P]

NWA: Total Nonstop Action #11
August 28, 2002
LIVE! From Nashville, Tennessee

by Emerson “5 hours of wrestling on Monday. Yay.” Witner

SPOILER: Click to show

Contact me:

E-mail: [e-mail]
Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man
Twitter: @thereallyrealew

Current Champions:

NWA World: Ron Killings (since August 7, 2002)
TNA X-Division: Low-Ki (since August 7, 2002)
NWA World Tag Team: Vacant
Miss TNA: Bruce (since July 31, 2002)

In case you missed it, here's what you missed last week on NWA: TNA....

-AJ Styles and Jerry Lynn had a 3 fall series of matches spread out over the whole show. They drew the third fall, so Low-Ki just gave them both a X-Title Ladder match next week. That was nice of him.

-Ed Ferrara left the company due to financial issues.

-America's Most Wanted returned. Chris Harris took up smoking, while Storm was bad that Brian Lee called someone a buckaroo.

-Brian Lee then beat up a fan for no good reason. Perhaps the fan said he couldn't be a buckaroo?

-Brian Lawler threatened to reveal the big secret he has about Jeff Jarrett, but was attacked by Slash (who doesn't really exist).

-Despite winning his match in 5 minutes, Lawler walks away and doesn't bother revealing the secret.

-Bob Armstrong's surprise for Jeff Jarrett was...The Bullet. A wrestler in a mask and a singlet who looked a lot like Bob, but it turned out to not be Bob.

And that's what you missed on NWA: TNA.....

Onto the show!

-Earlier today Brian Lawler was harassed by Goldylocks over what Jeff Jarrett did. Before Lawler could say something, he was attacked by Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett said he was jumped for the last damn time!

Match #1
Kid Kash vs Amazing Red

Red's music continues to play until the match had been going on for 10 seconds. These two were on opposite sides of a 6-man tag two weeks ago and now face off one on one.

After a minute of chain wrestling, Kash shoves Red. Red, not to be punked, slaps the former ECW TV Champion.

Both men exchange deep arm drags until we have a stand off. Red knocks Kash to the outside and nearly kills himself with a flip dive over the top rope, but Kash took a step back just in time to kind of catch Red.

Kash, not happy that Red landed on him, threw a chair in his face ala Sabu. Back in the ring, Kash got a 2 count off of a cross body off the top rope.

Kash rakes the eyes of Red, so referee Scott Armstrong told him to knock it off. Kash was like “Don't tell me what to do!” and raked Red's eyes a second time.

Red placed Kash on the middle rope and went for some kind of Rolling Flipping Move Of Doom, but Kash recovered enough to dive off the middle rope with a clothesline to his much smaller opponent.

Red fires back with some kicks and ascends to the top rope, but Kash jumped to the top rope and hit what was basically a Beale Toss from the top rope for a 2 count.

Kash gets another 2 off of a Springboard Legdrop, beginning to get frustrated and then gets a second 2 count off of a double Springboard Crossbody Block.

Kash then hit a Muscle Buster for the win.

Winner: Kid Kash
Time: 9:26

After the match Red sticks his hand out for a handshake, but Kash clothesline's him to the mat. While Kash celebrated, The SAT ran down and attacked him, hitting a Spanish Fly on Kash.

-Tenay announces that The Truth will defend the World Title against Brian Lawler tonight. Yes, Brian Lawler, who has won one match in 11 weeks gets a title shot, while Jarrett continues to be turned down.

-Backstage Goldylocks interviews Sonny Siaki, who has a match with Monty Brown. Sonny told Goldy not to be smart or else she will never have her way with him again. Sonny is bigger than the SuperBowl and life itself.

Match #2
Sonny Siaki vs Monty Brown

I ask this every week, but again. If Siaki hates being an Elvis so much, why does he continue wrestling in his Elvis costume and come out to his Elvis music?

Before the match starts Monty cuts a promo telling off Jeff Jarrett for using a chair. There was a sign behind his head saying “I Have A Penis”. Wasn't that sign there last week? Anyhoo Brown says he has chosen The Chosen One to beat his ass.

(EDIT: Turns out this show was taped after last weeks show, so that would explain the penis sign being there two weeks in a row. It does not explain why someone hasn't asked him to not hold it up yet.)

Brown over powers Sonny and throws him out of the ring. Monty ran at Sonny, but Siaki hit a drop toe hold, sending Monty crashing into the barricade.

Mike Tenay mentions that Monty Brown played in the SuperBowl for the “Buffalo Patriots”. I hate him.

Brown recovers quickly and beats Sonny all over the ringside area. Back in the ring Brown gets a pair of 2 counts on Sonny.

Monty hits a double under hook suplex for another 2 count. Sonny being treated like a jobber here. Who wants to bet he wins?

Finally after several more minutes of clubbering, Siaki hits a DDT, finally gaining the offensive, putting the boots to The Alpha Male.

That does not last long as Brown is soon back on his feet and throwing Sonny around. Getting heat is so 1998.

Jeff Jarrett moseyed on down and distracted Brown long enough for Siaki to hit a low blow and roll him up for the win! I called it!

Winner: Sonny Siaki
Time: 10:11

After the match Bob Armstrong and The Bullet came out to confront Jarrett. Brown then attacked Jarrett until Brian Lawler came out of the audience and choked Jarrett with his belt. TNA Security broke it up.

-Goldylocks is backstage interviewing Slash (who isn't a real person), who has a new friend who may not have bathed in months. His partner is Cobain, who lives for suicide and to overdose. I swear I am not making this up.

-I will not be doing a review of the September 4th, 2002 show. It is a highlight show of the best X-Division Matches and nothing else. Plus, due to the anniversary of the tragedy, there is not a show on September 11, 2002, so the next show I review will be September 18.

Match #3
4-Team Elimination Match
The Backseat Boys vs Slash and Cobain vs The Hot Shots vs America's Most Wanted

The Backseat Boys are Johnny Kashmere and Trent Acid. The Hot Shots, in case you forget, are Cassidy O'Reilly and Chase Stevens.

The person who scores the final fall will be the last entrant into a Gauntlet For The Gold Tag Team Match on September 18, which is for the NWA Tag Team Titles.

Kashmere starts with Cassidy. Johnny jumps on Cassidy's back, so Cassidy slaps him and tags Trent Acid. For some odd, unknown reason, the two partners do moves on each other, before tagging out.

The match turns into a Pier-6 Brawl and everyone does dives onto everyone else. Chase decides, halfway down, to do a Shooting Star Press, and nearly kills himself.

Back in the ring Slash hits a neck breaker on Trent to eliminate him.

ELIMINATED: The Backseat Boys
Time: 4:02

Chase gives Cobain a TKO onto his knee. That would suck for someone who didn't want to die.

Harris hits some Chris Masters-like chops to Cassidy, but Cassidy hits a Michinoku Driver. As he goes for a Lionsault, Harris gets his knees up and then hits a stiff clothesline to Cassidy.

Storm hit a Swinging Scorpion Death Drop on Cassidy to take him out.

ELIMINATED: The Hot Shots
Time: 7:53

The man who scores the fall now will be the last man to enter the Gauntlet Match in 3 weeks.

Slash with a Whirly Bird Powerbomb for a 2 count on Storm. AMW is undefeated in TNA still. Will they pick up the win tonight?

Cobain does a somersault flip off the top to Storm to the floor. Slash throws both men in the ring and then tags in. You know, instead of actually making the cover.

For some reason this brings Brian Lee and Ron Harris to the ring and to the commentary booth. They are pissed that they are not in this match. Maybe they are afraid Brian will beat the shit out of the fans again.

In the ring Harris almost wins with a bulldog and a Storm super kick. Cobain goes for a Tornado DDT, but Storm hits him with a Super kick.

Slash hits a Diamond Cutter off the middle rope to Storm, but Harris hits the Catatonic to Slash for the win!

Winners: America's Most Wanted
Time: 12:52

So Chris Harris will be the final man to enter the Gauntlet match in 3 weeks.

But after the match Ron Harris and Brian Lee run into the ring and attack AMW. All the other teams run in and we have a donny brook. Ron and Brian beat all 8 men up and throw them all over the top rope to the floor.

-Backstage Jeff Jarrett told Bullet Bob to get his shit together. Bob said Jeff will get everything he deserves. Jeff said he will take care of The Bullet and then take care of Bullet Bob.

Match #4
Miss TNA Crown On The Line
Bruce vs April Hunter

Before the match Bruce talks about his penis more and says Tenay's wife hates him and how April Hunter is not half the woman he is.

April is a fitness model and has been in Playboy. That qualifies you to be Diva's Champion, but what about Miss TNA?

April throws Bruce all over the ring, until Bruce drops her throat-first on the top rope. Bruce defended the title 2 weeks ago against Butch Woman, but appears to have an easier time tonight, hitting a suplex.

They exchange slaps and Bruce gets a 1 count off of a Springboard Sunset Flip. I bet that is difficult when you are wearing a gown.

Bruce drops April with a Powerbomb and retains his title.

Winner and STILL Miss TNA: Bruce
Time: 3:00

After the match Bruce tries to take her top off, but it attacked by April's boyfriend Silk Wagner Brown and runs him off.

-Backstage Goldylocks is interviewing Jimmy Yang and Jorge Estrada about their match with The SAT. Sonny walked in and said there are no hard feelings and if they take their vitamins and say their prayers they may prematurely lose their hair.

Nice steroid reference.

Match #5
The SAT vs The Flying Elvis Impersonators

Jose and Joel Maximo were out earlier, hitting a Spanish Fly on Kid Kash after Kash attacked Red after the bell.

While Estrada and Jose exchange a series of roll ups, Mike and Don talk about the Ladder Match. Don feels Ladder Matches should be outlawed because of how dangerous they are.

Meanwhile The Elvis' hit a pair of Asai Moonsaults to the outside, where the Maximo's are they waiting with arms wide open. If I listened to more Elvis songs, I would have used them during these reviews, but alas.

Jimmy with the 10 Punches of (the team of) DOOM! Estrada tags in and hits an elbow after diving over the top rope.

Jose nailed a missile dropkick to Estrada. Tenay talks about how Jose and Joel took a Greyhound Bus to Nashville a month ago for their first match and now they don't need to use a bus because they fly on a jet. That seems a bit excessive.

Estrada hits what Tenay called the Lumpy Tender. It was a neck breaker off the ropes. After a few seconds I realize he said Love Me Tender, but damn it sounded like Lumpy Tender.

Out of nowhere Don West said “I just remembered we have a triple ladder match tonight!” For the love of Christ, you and Tenay have talked about nothing else the entire show, how the hell did you forget?

Estrada hits a Maximo with a clothesline and motions to the crowd that he is going to take his clothes off. The fans didn't make a peep.

Jorge hit a Hiptoss into a Neckbreaker from the middle rope, but made a tag instead of the cover.

Jose and Joel hit a series of double team moves, including a monkey flip into a Spear, but Yang fights back, hitting a twisting suplex for a 2 count.

Estrada with a Springboard Asai Twisting Supex, Jose with a German and a Dragon Suplex. All only getting 2 counts.

The Maximo's went for the Spanish Fly on Yang, but Sonny Siaki ran down and shoved the Maximo's down.

Yang missed a Yang Time, but then scored the win with a twisting suplex off the top rope.

Winners: Yang & Estrada
Time: 14:30

-Goldylocks shook her ass and walked to the ring to interview Brian Lawler. Goldy asked him what was going on with Jarrett.

Brian stares at her boobs while talking about her ass and breasts. Brian calls her a 2 dollar whore. Man Jerry Jarrett has problems with women. Oh wait, Vinny Ru was with the company? Of course he would never write such a line.

Anyhoo Lawler ran Goldy off and then called the fans morons, demanding complete and total silence. Of course while he is ranting we can see a set of bleachers that have about 10 people total on.

Brian gives Jeff Jarrett 5 seconds to get his ass in the ring. Of course Jeff doesn't come down in the 12 seconds it took Brian to count to 5. (It went 1234.......................................................................5)

Before Brian could call Jeff a piece of shit, Ron Killings came out and said he does not have a concussion.

Tenay says he didn't think Truth would be here this week. What the hell? He has a World Title defense that you have been plugging! Why wouldn't he have been here?

Truth said that before it is all said and done, Brian's ass would know what The Truth is all about. Brian says this has to do with his girlfriend. We see a pretty blonde girl at ringside and a guy next to her taking pictures.

Lawler gets pissed at the photographer and beats him up and then takes his girlfriend away. If you don't want people hitting on your girlfriend, don't bring her to the matches.

Match #6
Jeff Jarrett vs The Bullet

The Bullet is from Parts Unknown. Where do they send the check? And how do you get a plane home?

Jeff Jarrett beats on Scott Armstrong wearing a mask....I mean The Bullet, beating him all around the ringside area, over the guardrail and into the crowd. There is a 14 year old in the second row drinking a beer.

Jarrett, the despicable heel, has people hand him chairs to beat on the loved baby face Bullet with.

Back in the ring Bullet with an Inverted Atomic Drop, but Jarrett punches him low and then handcuffs him to the top rope. Why does Jeff walk around with handcuffs in his tights?

Anyhoo Jeff grabs a chair to clock Bullet with, but Bob Armstrong runs in to stop him, but Jarrett clocks him with a chair!

The referee calls for the bell and that's that.

Decision: No Contest
Time: 3:47

After the match Jarrett hits Bob with another chair shot, while the crowd ask him to do it one more time.

Before Jeff could do something dastardly like take Bullet's mask off, TNA security run in and drag Jarrett away.

Match #7
Triple Ladder Match
TNA X-Division Championship
Low Ki vs Jerry Lynn vs AJ Styles

This match has been built up since the very first week and may be the climax of 3 months of matches and story lines.

I guess we are not going to get our Truth vs Lawler World Title Match as this is the....MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EVENT! Why did they bother mentioning it? This is a taped show.

Fast paced open to the match as Ki kicks both men over and over again, including hitting a Flying Chuck/Beautiful Disaster Kick to AJ.

Lynn slaps on a beautiful Surfboard move as the fans show their appreciation for fine technical wrestling by chanting “We want ladders”.

Lynn, the only man to never win the X-Title slaps on a Lion Tamer-like Boston Crab on AJ. Low Ki decides to kick him, which causes Lynn to ask for another and another and another, until Ki finally kicked him hard enough to break the move.

Ki with a flipping kick to the head of AJ and then picks AJ up on his shoulders and rams him into Lynn's prone body, which was set up in the corner. Ki finally brings a ladder into the match 6 minutes in, but AJ, with a baseball slide, sends the ladder into Ki.

AJ sets the ladder up as a bridge between the ring apron and the barricade and drops both of his opponents. AJ stands on the ladder bridge to do a WhatAManeuver to Lynn, but Ki stopped him. After a few seconds of fighting Lynn joins the fracas and all three men have their heads slam onto the ladder.

Lynn tried bringing the ladder into the ring and AJ disagreed, pulling the ladder towards him. Lynn acquiesced and slammed it into the ribs of Styles.

AJ showed the hottest flurry of his brief career by beating the snot out of Low Ki after Ki kicked him. Hey something as to wake him up. Ki gets a running start at the former Tag Team Champions, but they hip toss Ki into the ladder, which was positioned on the ropes.

Lynn and AJ reverse each others moves until Jerry hits a belly to belly overhead suplex, sending AJ crashing into the ladder.

Ki went for a jumping hurricarana, but Lynn blocked it and went for a running power bomb, but Ki reversed that and hit the hurricarana, this time sending Lynn into the ladder!

AJ becomes the first person to climb the ladder, but Ki trips him up. AJ, while hanging upside down, gets kicked time and again by the baldest X-Division Champion in TNA history.

AJ climbs up again, but Ki follows him. AJ slams his head off of the ladder, but on his way down Ki yanks AJ off too! Lynn climbs up, but AJ and Ki push the ladder over and Lynn goes crashing face-first into the top turnbuckle.

Lynn grabs AJ from behind. Ki goes for the Beautiful Disaster Kick, but Lynn drops AJ, catches Ki and drops Ki with a sit out power bomb! AJ throws a ladder in...which lands on Lynn's face.

Soon three ladders are set up in the ring, with all three men climbing and fighting each other off. Ki manages to slap the Dragon Sleeper on AJ, but Lynn breaks it up and sends AJ tumbling to the outside. Lynn and Ki are fighting on the ladder...AND LYNN TAKES OUT LOW KI WITH A CRADLE PILEDRIVER OFF THE LADDER!

Lynn drags himself up, climbs the ladder and gets the championship!

Winner and NEW X-Division Champion: Jerry Lynn
Time: 20:03

The show is running long (yes even for a taped show) so we are gone from Nashville. As a reminder, the September 4 show is just an X-Division highlight show and there is no September 11 show, so the next review you read will be the September 18 show.

Until then, I'll see you Thursday for NXT!

[Agent P]

WWE NXT
July 26, 2012
LIVE! From Orlando, Florida

by Emerson “I will never eat at Chick Fil A again!” Witner

SPOILER: Click to show

Mind you I have eaten at Chick Fil A maybe once in 27 years and there isn't one within 50 miles of me, but still! I am putting my foot down!

That hurt...why is there a hole in the floor?

Onto the show...

Welcome to the 127th episode of the longest running, weekly episodic show that got booted off both television and the internet: NXT!

Match #1
Bo Dallas & Derrick Bateman vs Johnny Curtis & Michael McGillicutty

I am wondering what Derrick Bateman and Johnny Curtis feel about Maxine being gone. I bet they don't get slapped as much anymore.

Bo runs over Dirty Curty in the first 7 seconds of the match, so after going ass over teakettle, he tags out to McGillicutty. It does not help the heel duo as the baby faces hit a double team hip toss on Average Joe.

The heels get the heat by ramming Bo into the ring post. The two of them work over Bo, while Derrick threatens to run in and interfere every now and then.

Bo knocks back Johnny with a back elbow, dumps McGillicutty over the top rope and makes a cold tag to Bateman.

Derrick runs wild, hitting a flipping neck breaker on Curtis for a 2 count. Bateman went for the DDD, but McGillicutty grabbed Bateman's leg, giving Curtis the time to lay out his rival with a sitting suplex slam.

Winners: Johnny Curtis & Michael McGillicutty
Time: 4:04

Match #2
Antonio Cesaro (w/Aksana) vs Alex Riley

It's a-match for A-Ry and Jim Ross joins the commentary table for this second match on the card. Let's see if this match goes longer than the 6-man on Monday.

Allegedly Alex Riley had his push recently cut because he couldn't take John Cena's ribbing. My biggest shock was that Alex Riley was recently pushed. I wasn't aware randomly standing backstage during Raw segments constituted a push.

Speaking of a push, Riley tried to push Cesaro away, but Antonio kept on a side headlock. Riley got out of it and nailed an X-Factor off the middle rope for a 2 count. JR says Cesaro has been on a winning streak on SmackDown recently. When does he ever wrestle on SmackDown?

Anyhoo Antonio used “so many different power maneuvers” such as punches to the stomach to get the heat in front of the quietest crowd to watch wrestling in Orlando since a TNA pay per view. These two never have to wrestle in Japan if they keep wrestling in front of crowds like this.

Antonio choked Riley in the ropes with his leg and then slaps on the Abdominal Stretch and put his left leg around the head of Alex in what was a very unique looking move.

Antonio misses a corner charge and Riley is on a roll, hitting a spine buster on Cesaro and lifts him up in a Fireman's Carry, but got distracted by Aksana, which led to Cesaro picking up the win with a move that was a cross between the Cradle Piledriver and the Styles Clash.

Winner: Antonio Cesaro
Time: 5:11

It's A-Job by A-Ry!

-Bradley Pierce is backstage interviewing Kassius Ohno, one of NXT's many new names. Of course he has had two matches already. The only thing missing, says Ohno, is the element of danger and he inflicts pain. If he dives at you, move, if he has a hold on you, get to the ropes and if he swings at you, you better move. He is Kassius and he hurts people.

-A SummerSlam commercial aired. Brock was not beating up weather.

-Elsewhere in the locker room Matt Striker interviewed Drew McIntyre about the talk of him losing his momentum and his time being over. He just talked and said nothing.

Match #3
Natalya vs Sofia Cortez

The battle of blonde, white girls is on! Sofia is Puerto Rican, but is lighter than Natalya, who allegedly lives in Canada.

While I make fun of skin tone, Natalya gets a 2 count off of a tornado clothesline and then slaps on a Surfboard.

Sofia is about to submit, but Natalya grabs her hair and yanks, which causes the ref to break the hold. Natalya wails away in the corner, but runs into Sofia's boots. Both ladies get 2 counts off surprise roll up's.

Natalya rolled to the outside and just knelt there and let herself get counted out.

Winner: Sofia Cortez
Time: 3:16

After the match Natalya, who just willingly lost, ran back in and put Sofia in the Sharpshooter.

-Raw rebound airs. I want to give a shout out to Todd Martin who wrote his final Raw review this past Monday. I would wish him the best in his future endeavors, but he isn't going anywhere.

Stephanie is still gorgeous.

-While I am shilling, Adam Barnowski still does the drunken review of WWE Superstars on F4Wonline.com. Pull out a 12 pack and enjoy!

Match #4
The Ascension vs Dante Dash & Garret Dylan

In case you forgot, The Ascension is NXT Alum Conor O'Brien and Kenneth Cameron, who is not to be confused with TNA guy Rashad Cameron. I want to believe Garret Bischoff's middle name is Dylan, but I have no bloody idea.

The Ascension is a tag team that reminds me of super villains. Conor walks right by Dante Dash, who tried locking up, and shoved Garret off the apron.

Conor and Kenneth tag in and out really quickly. I still want to know how that really conserves energy

Kenneth wouldn't let Garret get back on the apron, so he just left and then Cameron finished off Dante with a spinning heel kick, while Conor chop blocked him.

Winners: The Ascension
Time: 1:46

-A video for Big E. Langston aired. We see him training by doing curls with a propane tank. He debuts next week.

Match #5
Seth Rollins vs Drew McIntyre

Jim Ross returns three matches later for this.........the MAAAAAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EVENT!

Drew McIntyre's entire open of his theme played. In case you have never heard the whole song, there is a 10-15 second open to the song that they don't normally play.

One fall with a 7-minute time limit, as that is all the time we have left today. JR calls this a must win for McIntyre. I don't know why. I am sure he can continue losing to Sin Cara on Superstars without winning this match.

Drew seems to have trimmed up and lost about 10 pounds, which means nothing as Seth dropkicks him over and over again, sending him out of the ring. Drew moseys around the ring, so Seth dives through the ropes with a Suicide Dive. Byron Saxton says both men are down. The problem with that is Seth landed on his feet.

Back in the ring, both men take each other out with a double clothesline. Both men nip up, so Seth kicks him in the back of the head with an Inzigiri, which used to be a deadly move when Owen Hart used it.

Seth with an STO , sending Drew crashing face-first into the middle turnbuckle, which is a cool move. An exchange of knees to the gut and Drew goes for the Double Arm DDT, but Seth rolls through with a 2 count.

Seth gets another near fall with a super kick and rolls through on a Corkscrew Moonsault off the top rope, so Drew flattened him with a big boot. Then, in the biggest shock in NXT history, Drew finished off Seth with a Double Arm DDT and actually won a damn match!

Winner: Drew McIntyre
Time: 5:32

When was the last time he actually won a match? I don't mean him being on the winning side of the 12-man tag at WrestleMania, but actually pinned someone to win a match? Heath Slater wins more often.

It might take me a whole week to get over this shock.

If you enjoy reading my ramblings, check out my review of TNA from August 28, 2002 on AngryMarks.com and until next week, if you have any questions, comments, concerns or emotional outbursts, send 'em my way at [e-mail], on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man or by following me on Twitter @thereallyrealew!

[Agent P]

NWA: Total Nonstop Action #12
September 18, 2002
LIVE! From Nashville, Tennessee

by Emerson “As (kind of) read in the Wrestling Observer Newsletter” Witner

SPOILER: Click to show

Before I begin, I want to wish a Happy 2nd Birthday to my second nephew Noah. Plus we are about 5 weeks away from the birth of my first niece.

Contact me:

E-mail: [e-mail]
Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man
Twitter: @thereallyrealew

Current Champions:

NWA World: Ron Killings (since August 7, 2002)
TNA X-Division: Jerry Lynn (since August 28, 2002)
NWA World Tag Team: Vacant
Miss TNA: Bruce (since July 31, 2002)

In case you missed it, here's what you missed last week on NWA: TNA....

-The Truth vs Brian Lawler was announced as a World Title match...and then never happened.

-No problem because Lawler was all over the show, threatening to reveal his big secret about Jeff Jarrett. Before he could say anything new he dragged his hot girlfriend away, who was sitting in the front row.

-America's Most Wanted won a 4-way match to get the advantage in the tag team championship gauntlet match this week. After the match Ron Harris and Brian Lee just ran in and kicked everyone's ass.

-Sonny Siaki got his ass beat for 8 minutes and then got a fluke win over Monty Brown, which was followed by him making steroid references.

-Finally in one hell of a match, Jerry Lynn won the X-Division Title in a ladder match against Low Ki and AJ Styles.

-Oh and I refused to recap a highlight show, which was the September 4 edition.

And that's what you missed on NWA: TNA

-This weeks show kicks off with Goldylocks backstage talking about tonight's 10-team Gauntlet Match for the World Tag Team Titles and she introduces Scott Hall, who is entering the gauntlet with Sean Waltman, who just showed up and hugged Scott.

-Mike Tenay and Don West from ringside talk about how excited they are to be back. There hasn't been a pay per view in 3 weeks, but they haven't had a show in 4 weeks. The fans are pretty damn excited early on.

Mike and Don talk about the Gauntlet, a World Title Match with Ron Killings vs Jerry Lynn and an appearance by Dustin Diamond.

-Earlier today Brian Lawler tried attacking Jeff Jarrett and Jeff told her that he has never touched Brian's girlfriend and that he is the least of Brian's problems.

-Fast forward to now and Jeff Jarrett is hitting the ring to kick off the show. Jeff calls out Bob Armstrong and The Bullet, threatening to beat the Depends off Bob.

Jeff storms to the back and slams Bob into a wall so The Bullet attacks Jarrett! The Bullet appears to have gained 3 inches in height and about 40-50 pounds. Bullet takes Jarrett into the ring and takes off the mask revealing...gasp! Road Dogg!

Road Dogg, or as he is going to be known for now, Brian James, talked about walking out of the WWF with his friend Jeff Jarrett, but then went back for some reason and he is proud that he was a member of DX, but was not proud of what he did. He has cut off the dreadlocks and has a change of heart.

Brian says he will find a partner tonight and win the Tag Team Championship. And after 30 seconds of being called Brian James, he says his name will now be BG James.

Just to clear this up, Scott Armstrong was the guy for the first 2 weeks.

-Backstage Goldylocks interviews Sonny Siaki and Jorge Estrada. Goldy was shocked that Sonny Siaki was a team player three weeks ago.

Sonny said he looked at himself and said that he wants to be on a team and not be an egotistical singles wrestler.

Sonny also wishes Jerry Lynn luck in his World Title Match tonight, saying that Jerry has his support.

Match #1
Kid Kash vs AJ Styles

This could be good.

Before the match AJ grabs the mic from Borash and tells Sonny Siaki that the only thing supporting Lynn tonight is his jock strap and this feud between him and Jerry isn't over.

Three weeks ago Kash was a heel and now is playing a babyface. AJ and Kash exchange a series of hammerlocks and armbars early on, with Kash getting the upper hand.

This match is more of a series of reversals until Kash knocks AJ to the floor, dives over the top rope and hits a hurricarana! Kash goes outside to capitalize, but AJ jumps up and hits an Asai Moonsault to the outside, throws Kash back in and takes out Kash with a springboard dropkick.

Kash nails a Springboard Whisper In The Wind for a 2 count and then locks on a Boston Crab momentarily before dropping an elbow for a 2 count.

Kash blocks a kick and goes for the Moneymaker, but AJ turned it into a TKO, sending Kash throat first on the top rope.

A minute later Kash is back up, getting a 2 count off of a German Suplex with a bridge. AJ hits his Moonsault Into A Scorpion Death Drop for a 2 count.

Kash then hits a Double Springboard Hurricarana and a Tornado DDT for a 2 count. Kash goes for a leapfrog, but AJ hit a low dropkick and a Hurricarana from his back for a 2 count.

Back to their feet they exchange chops. AJ drops Kash to the middle rope and dropkicks Kash in the back of the head.

AJ goes for a Springboard Something, but Kash drop kicked AJ in the balls.

Kash goes for a Double Springboard Frog Splash, but AJ rolls out of the way. AJ to the top, but Kash stops him and goes for a Hurricarana off the middle rope, but AJ blocks that and hits a Styles Clash from the middle rope for the win!

Winner: AJ Styles
Time: 9:55

-To the back where Goldylocks is with Marcus Bagwell, who hasn't been seen in over 2 months. He is here for a second chance and hopes the fans can forgive him.

BG James walked up and offered Marcus the chance to be his partner and Bagwell agreed.

-Jeremy Borash, on the ramp, introduces Dustin Diamond, who recently defeated Horschak from Welcome Back, Kotter on Celebrity Boxing. Diamond, who was better known as Screech from Saved By The Bell, puts the fans and wrestlers over for being so nice to him.

JB asks him when he is going to wrestle for TNA. Dustin politely turned him down, saying he has no training. He could beat Borash, but not an actual wrestler. Borash tells him to fight Don West. Don tells him to fight Tiny The Time Keeper, who you may remember as the Fat Naked Oily Guy, TNA's answer to Big Dick Johnson.

Don fires up Tiny and Dustin says he will kill Tiny.

JB and DW, who are now match makers, make this boxing match official.

-Back to the back where Goldylocks is talking to The Hot Shots who, for some odd, unknown reason, gave up their spot in the Gauntlet match.

Goldy says that they didn't give up their spot, TNA is making them earn their spot in a 3-way.

After The Hot Shots walk off, Disco Inferno walks in and mentions that Goldy is doing nothing to earn her spot in bed with Disco.

Match #2
Boxing Match
Dustin Diamond vs Tiny The Time Keeper

In case you don't know, Tiny weighs about 325 pounds and is several inches shorter than Dustin.

Don had to ring the bell since Tiny was fighting. Don then broke the bell.

Dustin punches Tiny twice, which knocks him the smurf out.

Winner by KO: Dustin Diamond
Time: 0:40 (1st round)

Match #3
Jimmy Rave & Derek Wylde vs CM Punk & Ace Steel vs The Hot Shots

The team that loses the fall in this match gets kicked out of the Gauntlet Match, so it would be your best strategy to not tag in.

Rave and Wylde came out to Sonjay Dutt's music. And yes, the first member of team #2 is my Straight Edge Savior and the current WWE Champion.

Punk kicks it off with Cassidy and has a nice series of chain wrestling. Punk with a go behind, but Cassidy elbows out of it. Punk, nonetheless, hits a springboard cross body for a 2 count

Ace tags in and gets a 2 off of a vertical suplex. Wylde blind tags himself in, but gets caught on a Hurricarana and taken down with a power bomb. Cassidy almost gets the fall with a Split Legged Moonsault.

Both Hot Shots nail simultaneous dropkicks on Rave and then Cassidy back drops Chase onto Rave for a 2 count.

Rave gets his knees up when Cassidy goes for an Asai Moonsault and tags out to Punk, who hits a Springboard Dropkick to Cassidy's knee.

A pier-6 breaks out and everyone hits moves on everyone, which includes Punk doing a flip dive to the floor on Cassidy.

Ace then pins Chase Stevens with a Gory Special into a neck breaker.

Winners: Ace Steel & CM Punk
Time: 7:11

So yes this means The Hot Shots will not be in the Gauntlet Match tonight.

-To the back, to the back, where Goldy interviews America's Most Wanted, who are excited about the possibility of being Tag Team Champions, saying tonight is their night.

-To the ring and JB introduces Scott Hall and Syxx-Pac (Sean Waltman). Now for those of you with long memories, the last time Hall got taken out on a stretcher I said that this would be the last time we would see him for 2 years. Well I was wrong.

Hall talks about the first time he ever wrestled Waltman and Sean beat him. They both got a good laugh at the memory. Hall tells Sean that he loves him and that he loves working with him.

Waltman says all the shit you've heard about them is true, but what is also true is they love professional wrestling. Plus before they get fired from this place, they plan on raising hell and kicking ass.

From out of nowhere come Brian Lee and Ron Harris who attack Hall and Waltman. Hall and Waltman quickly get the upper hand and Hall drops Lee with an Outsider's Edge.

-To the back again and again, where Goldylocks asks Brian Lawler about his girlfriend and where his head is going into the Gauntlet. Lawler yelled at her about this being a life or death situation and walks off.

-Out front, Hermie Sadler is back. Hermie says he enjoyed his time here last time and is happy to be back. Mike talks about Hermie's life long dream was to wrestle. Which I am sure is why he is a Nascar driver.

Hermie said Truth made him look good and he has a special announcement, that NWA: TNA is sponsoring his car in the Busch Grand National Series in Charlotte on October 12.

Mike welcomes him to sit out with the announcers for the next match.

Match #4
Miss TNA Crown On The Line
Bruce vs Blonde Woman

The longest reigning champion in TNA right now, Bruce is hear for an open challenge. Bruce talks about being the greatest Miss TNA that has ever lived and that Tenay needs to stop staring at his ass.

The fans wanted Athena, who is some random woman at ringside, to accept, but Bruce wouldn't wrestle her. Finally Bruce accepts the challenge of a random blonde woman.

Bruce attacks at the bell and doesn't even take off his sash before dropping her with a suplex. Hermie talks about not even knowing his deal.

Whatever his deal his, he finishes off Blonde Woman with a power bomb.

Winner and STILL Miss TNA: Bruce
Time: 1:08

After the match Bruce attacked Blonde Woman, so Hermie Sadler jumped into the ring and took out Bruce with an Inverted Atomic Drop.

-Goldylocks is smiling at Jerry Lynn and then asks about his World Title Match. Lynn said he is here for opportunity, something he didn't get in either WWE or WCW. Winning the X Title was one of his goals and his other goal is to win the NWA Title.

Ron Killings took offense to this and stormed in, saying there will be no flip flop flying around tonight. The only way Lynn will take the title is to kill Truth.

Match #5
10-Team Gauntlet For The Gold

Rules:

-#1 and #2 start
-Every 60 seconds we get a new participant.
-Elimination is being thrown over the top rope and both feet touch the floor.
-You must eliminate both members of a team for that team to be eliminated.
-When it comes down to two men, their partners will rejoin the match and we will have an actual tag team match for the Tag Belts.
-Chris Harris is #20 after winning the 4-Way Match last week

Teams:

America's Most Wanted
Brian Lee & Ron Harris
Brian Lawler & Disco Inferno
Buff Bagwell & BG James
CM Punk & Ace Steel
Cobain & Slash
Derek Wylde & Jimmy Rave
Flying Elvis Impersonators (Jorge Estrada and Sonny Siaki)
Joel & Jose Maximo
Scott Hall & Syxx Pac

#1 is Brian Lawler, #2 is James Storm. So Storm and Harris will book end this match. Storm goes for a Superkick but almost gets back dropped out.

#3 is Joel Maximo at 1:00. He goes right after Lawler and teams with Storm to try to dump Jerry's Kid.

#4 is Derek Wylde at 2:11. He runs in and hits a springboard dropkick to Joel and gets heaved out by Lawler at 2:37 and the Lawler dumps Joel at 2:42 and Storm at 2:57.

Lawler is left all alone in the ring!

#5 is Buff Bagwell at 3:27. Bagwell hits several neck breakers on Lawler and shows off to the crowd. Isn't that what he said he wouldn't be doing? Don West mentions that Joel, Derek and Storm may be more beneficial to their teams by being eliminated early.

#6 is Cobain at 4:37. Buff beats the snot out of Cobain. Well he does love pain. Lawler uppercuts Buff in the balls.

#7 is Ace Steel at 6:00. Steel with a drop toe hold to Cobain, dropping him on the middle turnbuckle. On the other side of the ring Lawler bites the head of Buff.

#8 is Jorge Estrada at 7:15. No one's partner has entered yet.

#9 is Brian Lee at 8:25. Prime Time runs in and beats on both Ace and Brian Lawler. No eliminations in a while.

#10 is Syxx Pac at 9:37. Pac using his Edumacated Feet on everyone's jaw and dumps Cobain at 10:20.

#11 is My Straight Edge Savior CM Punk at 11:00. Just as he hit the ring Pac dumped Ace Steel at 11:00, so the team is not together.

#12 is Jimmy Rave at 12:01, who runs in and drops Punk on his head. I bet Punk is appreciative of that.

#13 is Ron Harris at 13:17, so Harris and Lee are in there together. They dump Estrada at 13:51, Punk at 14:03, Rave at 14:08, Bagwell at 14:18 and Lawler at 14:23

#14 is BG James at 14:30. So the only 4 men in the ring are James, Syxx, Ron Harris and Lee. Punk & Steel and Rave & Wylde are officially eliminated.

#15 is Jose Maximo at 15:37, who got caught by Ron and thrown out at 15:44. The SAT is gone. H-Bomb to Syxx Pac. Syxx tries to fight back, but is distracted by Lawler and dumped at 16:37!

#16 is Slash at 16:50. Slash joins Harris and Lee to triple team BG.

#17 is Sonny Siaki at 17:57. Sonny goes to work on Slash and Harris & Lee...just ignore it. Welp, you can't trust anyone I guess. Still to come are Disco, Hall and Chris Harris.

#18 is Disco Inferno at 19:10. Disco spends 12 seconds walking up and down the ring apron before getting in. Disco begs Ron Harris to not hurt him, but Ron has no sympy.

#19 is Scott Hall at 20:09. Hall tries dumping Lee, but Ron saved his partner and they double teamed the Outsider for a bit until Hall back dropped Ron over at 21:17.

#20 is Chris Harris at 21:31. Hall dumped Slash at 21:33. Disco accidentally eliminated Sonny Siaki at 21:50, so Hall and James double teamed him and threw him out at 22:35.

Hall, James, Lee and Harris. Who is going to end up as the last two?

Well that wasn't much of a mystery. Lee charged at James and Hall and dumped them both at 23:02

Winners: Brian Lee & Chris Harris
Time: 23:02

Match #6
NWA World Tag Team Championship
America's Most Wanted vs Brian Lee & Ron Harris

The partners hit the ring immediately and the championship match begins. On his way to the ring, Storm got attacked by Ron Harris and given a choke slam on the ramp!

Jeff Jarrett ran down and attacked BG James! Jarrett beat on James up the ramp and to the backstage.

Storm tries to recover on the ramp, while the big men work over Chris Harris in the ring. Harris suplexes Harris as Ron downs Chris.

Storm crawled down the ramp and climbed onto the apron, but Ron knocked him off.

Chris tried to get some momentum, but Lee hit a clothesline for a 2 count and Ron knocked Storm off the apron again.

After some more 2-on-1 Storm rolled into the ring and got taken down by the heels. They went for an H Bomb, but Storm got out and got brief offense on both men, but they took him out with the H-Bomb.

Ron goes outside the ring and sets up a table at ringside. Storm gets placed on the table. Lee lifts Harris up for a power bomb, but Chris rolls through and pins Lee!

Winners and NEW NWA Tag Team Champions: America's Most Wanted
Time: 4:33

-After a brief celebration we go to the back where BG James is bleeding and Bob Armstrong is there holding a towel to his head to mop up the blood.

Match #7
NWA World Heavyweight Championship
Ron Killings vs Jerry Lynn

Can Lynn become the first Triple Crown Champion in TNA history? He is a former ECW World Champion and the current X-Division Champion. JB made a gaff saying he was the defending X Champion.

Good thing Hulk Hogan isn't here. He would have made Lynn vacate the belt.

This is the.............MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EVENT! One fall, 16 minute time limit. Truth demanded referee Scott Armstrong check Lynn and while Lynn was being checked, Truth popped him in the mouth the start the match.

Lynn battles back quickly, getting a 2 count off of a back breaker and then drops Truth with a drop toe hold into the middle rope. That was cool when I saw it on NXT last week and not as cool now that I have seen it twice tonight.

They fight outside to the announce table and Truth drops Lynn face first on the X-Division Title, which was on the announce table. Lynn is busted open. Lynn is bleeding. Lynn is wearing the crimson mask. Can Lynn get past this and win the championship?

Back in the ring Truth got a 2 off of a side suplex. After a roll up by Lynn, Killings goes for the 10 Punches of DOOM, Lynn shoves him off and goes for a clothesline, but Truth does a split to avoid it and hits a kick to the head.

They fight outside the ring and Lynn reverses an Irish Whip, sending the World Champ into the guardrail. Killings got his boots up when Lynn charged in and took back the advantage.

Back in the ring Truth slapped on a submission hold that was Surfboard-like, but Killings was seated on the mat, pulling back Lynn. Lynn managed to inch himself to the ropes and used his head to break the plain of the ring, forcing a break.

Back to their feet briefly as Killings nails a Scissors Kick for a 2 count. Can Killings put him away? Lynn with a sunset flip almost gets the fall, but Ron barely gets out.

Lynn then hits a cross body block for a 2 count and AJ Styles has walked to ringside! What is AJ going to do? He did comment that he did not want Lynn to win the belt.

Kid Kash and the SAT also came out, in a show of unity to cheer on Lynn. Estrada and Siaki joined the ringside area, cheering on Lynn as he hits a side suplex on Truth.

Lynn almost wins the championship by throwing Ron to the mat. Jerry signals for the Cradle Piledriver, but Ron back drops out.

Ron goes for a suplex, but Lynn turns it into a DDT for a 2 count. Ron had his foot on the ropes and AJ shoved it off, distracting the referee.

During the confusion Lynn scaled the ropes, but Sonny Siaki shoved him off! Truth then hit a Diamond Cutter to retain the belt!

Winner and STILL NWA World Heavyweight Champion: Ron Killings
Time: 12:27

The X-Division guys chase Siaki away and AJ just shakes his head and walks off.

Don grabs the mic and announces the following for next week:

-Jeff Jarrett vs BG James
-Syxx Pac vs Brian Lawler
-The return of Low-Ki (who is in Japan with Zero-1)

Brian Lawler walks out to talk about Jeff Jarrett when Killings punches him in the head. Truth and Jarrett get a brief amount of offense before Hall and Waltman run down to help BG.

BG hits the Pumphandle Slam and the good guys stand tall at the end of the show.

-That is it for this week. The show has gotten better. Even though we didn't have the one blow-away *********1/2 match, we did get several really good matches and a limit on the stupid stuff. Until next time, see you Thursday for NXT!

[Agent P]

WWE NXT
August 2, 2012
LIVE! From Full Sail University in Orlando, Florida

by Emerson “I am moving” Witner

SPOILER: Click to show

-Before I dive into this weeks episode, it is true. I am moving to a new place between now and the first of September. I am not quite sure of what out schedule will be like and when we will have internet set up at the new place. But regardless I will continue to do not only the NXT reports, but the TNA Weekly PPV reports on AngryMarks.com. Please forgive me if I am late with it one week, but I vow to not miss a week and keep on my regular schedule.

With that taken care of, onto the show!

-We start with a cold open and Byron Saxton sending us to Interim NXT General Manager Dusty Rhodes, who announces the formation of an NXT Championship. Tournaments, he says, have been held all over the world the past few months and we are down to 8 men. 8 men who will compete in the Gold Rush Tournament to become the first ever NXT Champion.

The eight men are Richie Steamboat, Bo Dallas, Leo Kruger, Seth Rollins, Michael McGillicutty, Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal and Justin Gabriel. Where are Shawn Michaels and Shelton Benjamin?!?!? Wait, wrong Gold Rush Tournament.

I do want to see footage of all these tournaments. Especially the one where Drew McIntyre won.

By the way, Drew's 1-match winning streak came to an end last week on WWE Superstars when he lost to Sin Cara. How do I know this? I read Adam Barnowski's drunken WWE Superstars report on F4WOnline.com of course! If you go there now, you can read the latest goings-on in the new longest running, weekly episodic web cast since NXT, Velocity and Heat were taken off the web.

The Gold Rush tournament beings.....right now.

Dusty really put over the importance of this championship and he seemed genuinely excited that this was a thing.

-The NXT Championship belt was set up on the stage. They seriously put almost no thought into this belt. The center plate is the NXT logo, with a giant X and a smaller N and T, with the WWE logo on either side of it.

-Jim Ross, Bryon Saxton and Mr. William Regal are your announce team this week.

Match #1
Gold Rush Tournament Quarter Final Match
Richie Steamboat vs Leo Kruger

Two weeks ago Kruger defeated Steamboat with his feet on the ropes. Can Richie pull off a victory tonight or will Leo make it two in a row?

Leo slaps Richie, which the younger Steamboat didn't care for, so they chased one another around the ring twice before rolling back in and Leo stomping on Richie.

Richie chops Leo, which sends Kruger rolling to the floor outside to catch a breather. Back in the ring Richie aggressively attacks Leo in the corner.

Leo suffers a knee injury after an Irish Whip. Oh no! He is down for the count...IT'S A MIRACLE! LEO IS OKAY! The only person in the building who fell for that was Richie Steamboat and he got punched in the face.

Anyhoo, Leo took Richie to the mat and turned his head 90 degrees to the right. Richie fought up, so Leo dropped him with a Double A Spinebuster for a 2 count.

Richie fights out of a Sleeper Hold, but Leo grounded him and punched him in the face. After an Irish Whip by Leo, Richie got his boots up and Leo headbutted the bottom of Richie's foot.

Richie began building momentum with a series of chops and clotheslines. Richie to the top rope and comes off with a Missile Dropkick, but only gets a 2 count on the cover.

Kruger manages to locker the Sleeper back on and Richie is fading, as are his hopes and dreams of being NXT Champion! Richie manages to fall forward into the bottom rope, causing the break.

Richie comes off the ropes and nails a neck breaker/clothesline combination for the win!

Winner: Richie Steamboat
Time: 7:54

-The brackets were shown after this match and they go as follows...

Seth Rollins vs Drew McIntyre
Justin Gabriel vs Michael McGillicutty
Richie Steamboat vs Leo Kruger
Bo Dallas vs Jinder Mahal

So Richie will face the winner of Bo vs Jinder.

Match #2
Big E. Langston vs Adam Mercer

After a brief commercial we get the debut of Big E Langston, who looks like the love child of Bobby Lashley and Monty Brown. Adam Mercer got the jobber entrance and is wearing plain black tights and boots.

I wonder who will win?

Big, who was featured at the Elimination Chamber ppv this year training with John Cena, kneed Adam in the gut, dropped him with a back breaker and rammed his shoulder into the gut of the poor sap.

Adam actually gets in 4 seconds of offense, hitting a pair of jawbreakers, but Big tackled him to the mat and finished him off with a version of the TKO, but instead of holding his opponent across his shoulders, he just picked him up on one shoulder and then dropped him with a Cutter.

Winner: Big E. Langston
Time: 1:59

Match #3
Raquel Diaz vs Audrey Marie

In case you forgot Raquel Diaz is the daughter of Eddie and Vickie Guerrero and she hates ugly people. I would point out that she is the offspring of Vickie, but that would be mean.

Raquel hits a Stun Gun early on. There was this blonde guy in WCW in the early-90's who used to do that move. Whatever happened to him?

Raquel is a decent athlete but is green as fuck. The fans were nice enough to only chant “You can't wrestle” at her. Being able to wrestle or not, Raquel won with the Gory Special.

Winner: Raquel Diaz
Time: 2:34

After the match Raquel drew a letter L on Audrey's head with lipstick.

-Backstage Briley Pierce interviewed Paige, who did not approve of Raquel calling this the Ugliness Tour. Well she calls it the Exfoliating Ugliness Tour, but whatever.

Match #4
Hunico & Camacho vs Jason Jordan & Mike Dalton

Jordan needs a good partner. I think he has wrestled three times already, with three different partners and has lost all three times.

Anyhoo, Fake Sin Cara starts with Jordan. Jordan actually gets the early advantage and tags out to Dalton, who gets chopped. Dalton gets distracted by Camacho, so Hunico dropkicks him.

In comes the son of Haku, who would be so much better if he had his father's giant afro and baggy pants from WCW 2000.

Camacho was in the ring long enough for me to write “In comes the son of”, but I desperately needed to make that reference to Haku.

Hunico grounded Dalton and let Camacho in long enough to get a 2 count off of a double under hook suplex.

The heels almost pick up the win with a double team power bomb, but Jordan broke it up. While the ref got Jordan out, Hunico and Camacho double teamed Dalton.

Then, in the biggest upset since last week when Drew McIntyre won a match, Hunico threw Dalton into Camacho for a power bomb, but Dalton turned it into a Hurricarana for the win!

Winners: Mike Dalton & Jason Jordan
Time: 3:40

Match #5
Gold Rush Tournament Quarter Final Match
Drew McIntyre vs Seth Rollins

Last week Drew pulled off the upset of the week when he pinned Seth Rollins. Can he do it twice in a row and move into the Semi Finals?

While Seth was walking to the ring Drew tried to use his fingers to indicate that he is 1-0 vs Seth, but had his hands the wrong way and made it look like he was 0-1.

Drew is off to a quick start, hitting a European Uppercut on Seth, but the former ROH Champion hits a low dropkick to the knee and then a one-legged dropkick to the nose.

Drew rolled to the outside and rolled under the ring. I was thinking he was going to crawl to the other side, but instead Seth ran out to pull Drew out, but Drew used his leg strength to pull Seth face first into the ring apron.

Drew went for the Double Arm DDT, but Seth fought it off, so Drew turned it into a hammerlock and we went to commercial.

Back from commercial and Drew is still in control, slamming Seth down to the mat.

The referee is wearing gloves, which usually indicates someone is bleeding, but no one is wearing the crimson mask. Drew is working over the left arm of Seth, slamming it into the ring apron.

Back in the ring Drew continued beating on Seth in the corner. Drew went for a short arm clothesline, but Seth fought back and managed to hit a DDT on the former Intercontinental Champion and Chosen One.

Seth chose Drew to deliver an Inzigiri to the head. Drew rolled outside and Seth flew to the outside with a Suicide Dive! The fans come alive, chanting for Seth.

Seth hit a Stinger Splash and went for a big WhatAManeuver on Drew, but Drew knocked him ass over teakettle with a clothesline.

Seth came off the middle rope with a dive, but Drew turned it into a Tilt A Whirl back breaker for a 2 count! Drew is sensing victory and goes for the Double Arm DDT, but Seth locks himself in the ropes to block it.

Drew places Seth up in the corner turnbuckle, going for a back suplex, but Seth elbowed him off and went for the same Twisting Moonsault he missed last week and missed it again. But this time he managed to avoid the big boot in the corner by Drew and hit Drew with the boot to the back of the head while Drew is bent over for the win!

Winner: Seth Rollins
Time: 9:33

And with Seth standing near the championship belt, motioning that it will be his, we are done for this week!

Quite a good show and at least we not have a reason to continue watching. Until next week, if you have any questions, comments, concerns or emotional outbursts, send 'em my way at [e-mail], on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man or by following me on Twitter @thereallyrealew!

[Agent P]

NWA: Total Nonstop Action #13
September 25, 2002
LIVE! From Nashville, Tennessee

by Emerson “Why are you wasting money on flowers? I'm dead” Witner

SPOILER: Click to show

Contact me:

E-mail: [e-mail]
Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man
Twitter: @thereallyrealew

Current Champions:

NWA World: Ron Killings (since August 7, 2002)
TNA X-Division: Jerry Lynn (since August 28, 2002)
NWA World Tag Team: America's Most Wanted (since September 18, 2002)
Miss TNA: Bruce (since July 31, 2002)

In case you missed it, here's what you missed last week on NWA: TNA....

-The 10-Team Gauntlet Match brought Scott Hall, Sean Waltman, BG James and Buff Bagwell to the Asylum.

-Despite that AMW won their first World Tag Team Title, defeating Ron Harris and Brian Lee in the final.

-Dustin Diamond made an appearance, knocking out Tiny The Really Fat Timekeeper.

-Hermie Sadler was in the area, so he came on by and talked about TNA sponsoring his Busch Grand National car.

-Finally Ron Killings pinned Jerry Lynn to retain the World Title when Sonny Siaki shoved Lynn off the top rope.

And that's what you missed on NWA: TNA.

-The show starts with backstage brawling as Jerry Lynn and Sonny Siaki are brawling in the backstage area. No one except for the cameraman and Goldylocks notices this going on.

Match #1
Amazing Red vs Sonny Siaki

Siaki is selling the beating from Jerry Lynn earlier and is not wearing his Elvis gear. While Siaki walked to the ring, Red got the match started early with a flip dive over the top rope onto Sonny!

With his foe down, Red ran down the ring apron and nailed a Shooting Star Press to the floor!

In the ring Red began piecing together a few moves when Siaki sent him flipping head over tail with a clothesline.

Red tried bouncing back, but Sonny back dropped him over the top rope to the floor. Sonny rolled out and dropped the wee lad across the guardrail before throwing him back in.

In the shadows we see Mortimer Plumtree, formerly the manager of The Johnson's, watching from a distance.

Sonny with a belly to belly overhead suplex, sending Red crashing into the turnbuckles.

After beating Red down for a few minutes, Red almost scored the pin with the Infra-Red and a spinning kick, but was taken down with a Black Hole Slam and defeated with a Roll of the Dice called The Money Clip.

Winner: Sonny Siaki
Time: 7:20

After the match Jorge Estrada came out and said tonight him and Jimmy are going to take Sonny's Elvis suit and strip him down, taking his blue suede shoes.

-To the back where Amazing Red is limping and is attacked by Ron Killings! Killings beat down Red, while Goldy stood there and watched.

Match #2
Tables Match
NWA World Tag Team Championship
America's Most Wanted vs Brian Lee & Ron Harris

Will the title reign of AMW end after 7 days?

Despite being a match with No Disqualifications, only two men wrestle in the ring and are nice enough to wait for a tag.

Chris Harris back drops everyone over the top rope, including his partner. Storm gets caught by the foes, so Chris dives over the top onto the pile.

Referee Rudy Charles allows a 2-on-1 beat down and only steps in when James Storm tries to interfere and help his partner. Ron and Lee set the table up in the ring and in the corner. Harris gave Harris a Powerslam as Ron downed Chris. If he would have done it 5 feet to the left, we would have new Tag Team Champions.

Brian Lee goes for a Knee drop from the top rope, but Chris rolls out of the way and makes the lukewarm tag to Storm, who is fired up and fires away on both heels.

A pier-6 breaks out as all 4 men are in the ring. AMW knock Ron to the outside with a pair of super kicks.

Lee ends up on the apron and tries several times to put both men through a table, but Storm jumps off the back of Chris, slams into Brian Lee and Lee goes through a table!

Winners and STILL NWA Tag Team Champions: America's Most Wanted
Time: 6:39

After the match Ron Harris beat down both champions and put Harris through a table. TNA Security ran in and Don Harris backed down his twin brother and sent him off.

-Footage from earlier today where Goldy interviewed Bruce. Bruce had pulled into a parking spot and an old woman came up and yelled at him for taking her parking spot.

-To the front of the building where NWA Champion Ron Killings is holding court in mid-ring. Ron has a shot at the X-Division Title tonight and plans on winning the belt and doing away with the X-Division.

Truth talked about the prejudice of Jerry Lynn having X-Division lumberjacks and where is his Posse?

With that BG James came out and talked about his penis and how he has had to listed to Ron being a prima donna with his head in the clouds.

BG talked about being the only person who defended him in the WWF and will smack the braids off of Ron's head. Ron said that BG brought him to the WWF because BG was getting in deep shit and needed someone to pick up the slack. Truth referred to himself as The Sun Tanned Superman and the Great Black Hope.

Ron said that BG was his bitch. BG took these as fighting words and a brawl erupts. BG punched him in the head, so Truth rolled outside and walked away, while BG talked about Demi Moore.

-Backstage Goldylocks interviewed Brian Lawler and his girlfriend April. Brian talked about how it was no one's business. You couldn't hear anything they said as, in the background of this pre-tape you can hear Jeremy Borash hyping up the crowd, telling them what will happen tonight.

Match #3
2-out-of-3 Falls
AJ Styles vs Low Ki

The winner gets a shot at the X-Division Title next week, while the loser goes to the bottom of the rankings.

AJ and Ki spend the first few minutes reversing a series of hammerlocks, armbars and headlocks. Both men trying to get the early advantage.

AJ kicks Ki a few times and then mocks Low Ki long enough for Ki to kick him in the head and send him outside the ring. AJ tried walking away, so Ki ran down the apron and took out AJ with a flip dive to the arena floor.

Back in the ring AJ connected with a back breaker and a gut buster for a 2 count. Ki tried getting to his feet by chopping away at Styles, but the first X-Division Champion threw him down.

AJ went for a back body drop, but Ki kicked him in the face and then came off the ropes with a Beautiful Disaster Kick. Ki then locked on the Dragon Clutch for the tap out.

Fall #1: Low Ki (6:38)

After a 20-second rest AJ was back up and knocking down his foe with a clothesline. AJ gets a 2 count off of a delayed vertical suplex. I wonder if he will teach Claire Lynch's baby how to do that. Maybe Uncle Chris or Uncle Frankie will help.

Okay, back to the past, AJ goes for a front baseball slide to the floor, but Ki kicks him in the mouth. Ki slaps on a Dragon Sleeper on the floor, but AJ throws himself backwards, slamming Ki off the ramp.

Back in the ring, AJ went for a power bomb, but Ki rolled through with a Hurricarana, but AJ rolled through that to score the pinfall.

Fall #2: AJ Styles (10:56)

They stopped long enough for Borash to announce the winner of the fall and went back to fighting. Outside the ring Ki had his knee slammed against the guardrail. They fight to the top rope where AJ blocks a Hurricarana, but Ki blocks a Styles Clash, so AJ dropped Ki's injured knee on his knee.

AJ with a Spinning Toe Hold, hurting the knee of Ki. Styles goes for a Styles Clash and Ki turns it into a Hurricarana for a 2 count.

A clunky series where Scott Armstrong conveniently turned his back while AJ kicked him low. AJ rolled Ki up and put his feet on the ropes, but Ki was too far away, so AJ dropped him with a Styles Clash for the win.

Winner: AJ Styles
Time: 14:44

-Backstage Goldylocks interviewed Jeff Jarrett, who keeps being taken away from his goal of being NWA Champion. Jarrett said Goldy will be selling Time Life CD's at 4am on some obscure cable station, but he will be NWA Champion.

Match #4
Elix Skipper & Brian Lawler vs Scott Hall & Sean Waltman.

Lawler suddenly discovered his girlfriend's skirt was quite short and make her wear his ring jacket, which wasn't even long enough to reach the bottom of her skirt.

Tenay talks about how Hall & Waltman want to be NWA Tag Team Champs, so they came to the right place. Well it is true that you need to be in the company if you wish to win the NWA Tag Titles.

Skipper tries locking up with Waltman to start, but both Waltman and Hall give him a crotch chop.

Hall and Lawler tag in. Not mentioned is that they were tag team partners 10 episodes ago, but Lawler turned on Hall. Lawler is per-occupied with making sure his girlfriend doesn't move from where he told her to stand, so he grabbed a chair and showed her where to sit.

Skipper was tired of the shenanigans, so he tagged himself in. Hall beats on Skipper for a bit until the heels double team on Scott, tripping him and pulling him crotch first into the ring post.

Lawler downs Hall with a shoulder block to the gut and a vertical suplex before demanding his girlfriend applauds his efforts.

Skipper comes in and catches Scott with some punches and kicks before Hall catches a spin kick and slams him down.

Lawler tells off the girlfriend, so Don West gets up from the table and consoles April. Sean Waltman tags in and puts Skipper and Lawler through the motions. He downed Skipper with an X-Factor, but only got a 2 count.

Waltman goes for a Bronco Buster, but Skipper moves out of the way. Lawler beats down Hall, while behind him Waltman pins Skipper with an X-Factor as he came off the top rope.

Winners: Scott Hall & Sean Waltman
Time: 9:09

After the match Jeff Jarrett ran down and dropped both Waltman and Hall with The Stroke. Skipper and Lawler joined in on the beat down momentarily before the security broke it up.

-Backstage Goldylocks interviewed AJ Styles. AJ bumped and grinded against Goldy, before saying that he will be on top. Next week he wants his title shot vs Jerry Lynn to be a Ladder Match.

-It is time for our weekly appearance of Miss TNA Bruce. Bruce grabs the mic and talks more about his penis, Tenay's wife and women being equal. Bruce says he is hear every week defending the most prestigious title in wrestling: The Miss TNA Crown and no one can take him on. Bruce says that Oprah would be disappointed in them.

Sarah Lee, who is either the lady who makes cakes or the old woman who yelled at Bruce for taking her parking spot, tried jumping in to take the challenge, but was carried away by Don Harris and Jeremy Borash.

Match #5
Kid Kash vs Jorge Estrada

Earlier tonight Jorge had a confrontation with fellow Elvis: Sonny Siaki. Jorge vowed to take Sonny's Elvis suit tonight, so he decided the best way to do this was to wrestle Kid Kash.

The two of the exchange moves, while I am distracted by Don West taking off his headset and talking with a producer.

Mortimer Plumtree has arrived again, standing on the ramp, watching the match as Estrada knocks Kash out of the ring and then dove over the top rope, but came up short, falling at Kash's feet, but Kash sold it anyway.

Kash realized how dumb that was, so he got up and hit a Double Springboard Flip Dive to Estrada on the floor.

Jorge went to the top rope, but Kash shoved the ref into the ropes and then hit a Hurricarana, but only for a 2 count. That used to be a disqualification. Just saying.

To their feet, both men exchange chops to the others exposed chest. Kash went for a Hurricarana, but Estrada caught him, dropped him with a power bomb and then won with an Asai Twisting Moonsault, called the TCB for the win.

Winner: Jorge Estrada
Time: 6:05

After the match Jorge called out Sonny Siaki, who said he never wanted everything to go down like this, saying he had respect for both Jorge and Jimmy.

Sonny said Jorge can have his Elvis jumpsuit, so he showed him a video from earlier today where he threw his jumpsuit into a burning barrel.

Jorge treated this as if his children just died.

Match #6
TNA X-Division Championship
Lumberjack Match
Jerry Lynn vs Ron Killings

The lumberjacks are Amazing Red, Kid Kash, Low-Ki and Jorge Estrada (who quickly got over the suit being burned). 4 Lumberjacks. I bet there won't be any problems there.

Jeremy Borash needs to learn what “defending champion” means, as for the second week in a row he announces both men as the defending champion.

Lynn attacks at the bell. Truth tries rolling outside to catch his breath, but Low Ki throws him back in. Truth gets hit with a Bulldog from the middle rope and tries rolling outside again and this time Red throws him in.

Killings uses the second brief breather to his advantage, as he takes control when the match continues. The Truth throws Lynn to the floor and Kash begins stomping on Lynn.

Back in the ring Killings drops Lynn with a Muscle Buster for a 2 count as AJ Styles sets a ladder up in the entry-way.

Killings almost wins the title with a Running Powerslam, while AJ is taunting Lynn from the top of the ladder.

Lynn starts to fight out of a rear chin lock, but Killings throws him down by the hair. The referee warns him, which gives Lynn long enough to get back to his feet and build momentum.

Truth went for a Hurricarana, but Lynn dropped him with a Sit Out power bomb for a 2 count. Truth kicked Lynn low, so Estrada and Red jumped on the apron to complain. Low Ki punched Killings and Jerry Lynn pinned the World Heavyweight Champion with a TKO!

Winner and STILL X-Division Champion: Jerry Lynn
Time: 9:03

Next week:

-Jerry Lynn vs AJ Styles in a Ladder Match
-What is Ron Killings going to do for revenge?
-What is Sonny Siaki going to do now that he burned his Elvis suit?

Match #7
Jeff Jarrett vs BG James

It is time for the.....MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EVENT!

This is one of the first times these two men have faced off in one on one competition since Jarrett and James were a duo in WWF in 1995.

They fight outside the ring and James hits Jarrett with a chair several times as they fight into the crowd and around the arena.

Back over the guardrail Jarrett slams James onto the announce table and hits him several times with a steel chair.

Jarrett finally rolls him back in the ring. That referee sure did count slow, as they were outside the ring for a good 3 minutes.

The Chosen One locks on a sleeper. BG almost goes out, but stops his arm from going down a third time and then slaps on his own sleeper, but Jarrett drops James with a back suplex.

Back to their feet James goes for the 10 Punches of Doom and for some reason the referee got involved, so he got poked.

Jarrett wedged a chair in the middle rope, but James sent Jarrett head-first into it. Elix Skipper and Brian Lawler all ran down and distracted James, so Jarrett clocked him with a chair and then covered him, but only got a 2 count.

James nailed the Pumphandle Slam, which led to Skipper and Lawler running in, causing a DQ.

Winner by DQ: BG James
Time: 9:08

I think this might be the first DQ ever in TNA.

Hall and Waltman ran down to make the save, so Truth ran down and knocked out all three babyfaces with the World Title belt.

The heels stand victoriously at the end of the show and that's how we end things here tonight. Until Thursday for NXT, I'll see you all later.

[Agent P]

WWE NXT
August 9, 2012
LIVE! From Full Sail University

by Emerson “HAIL SABIN! (a cab)” Witner

SPOILER: Click to show

In case you missed it, here's what you missed last week on WWE NXT...

-Dusty Rhodes announced the formation of an NXT Championship, where the winner would receive perhaps the ugliest belt ever created.

-Richie Steamboat and Seth Rollins avenged previous losses to Leo Kruger and Drew McIntyre (respectively) to advance to the semi-final round.

-Big E. Langston debuted, Raquel Diaz is green, Paige doesn't like being called ugly and Hunico & Camacho got beat by jobbers.

And that's what you missed on WWE NXT.

To update you on the tournament...

First Round

Seth Rollins vs Drew McIntyre
Justin Gabriel vs Michael McGillicutty
Richie Steamboat vs Leo Kruger
Bo Dallas vs Jinder Mahal

Second Round

Seth Rollins vs Gabriel-McGillicutty winner
Richie Steamboat vs Dallas-Mahal winner

Onto the show!

The show starts with a video package of all eight guys in the tournament talking about how important it is to be the first NXT Champion. The video also includes Drew McIntyre and Leo Kruger, who are already eliminated.

Jinder Mahal actually showed some semblance of a personality.

Match #1
Gold Rush Tournament Quarter Final Match
Michael McGillicutty vs Justin Gabriel

Both men are former members of Nexus, former WWE Tag Team Champions and both finished in the Top 3 of their respective seasons of NXT.

Gabriel is the last South African representative in the tournament. Leo Kruger was eliminated last week in his effort to take the championship to South Africa.

Gabriel starts the match by grounding his larger opponent to the mat. MMG fought up, but Gabriel took him right back down with a deep arm drag.

McGillicutty fights back up again and again Gabriel sends him right back down with another deep arm drag. A third time, Michael fights Gabriel into the corner, but Justin ducks a cheap shot and takes Mr. Average back down.

Michael finally stays on his feet and tries to toss Justin with a suplex, but Justin lands on his feet, hits his own suplex and slaps on a wacky submission move.

Before I could describe it (think of a double under hook abdominal stretch) we went to a commercial and the move had been long broken by the time we came back.

To Michael's credit, the commercial was what he needed to take control of the match, taking down his former stable mate.

After both men nailed a flying body press, Gabriel pulled out the kicks, hitting Michael in the thighs and hips, before hitting a Springboard Cross Body Block for a 2 count.

Gabriel went for a 450 Splash, but Michael rolled across the ring to avoid it. Gabriel jumped down, hit a corner splash and a gut-wrench into a sit out power bomb for a 2 count.

Michael with a small package that he rolled through and hit Justin with a Perfect Plex! But Gabriel kicked out.

Gabriel missed an Asal Moonsault and McGillicutty finished him off with a Running Neckbreaker.

Winner: Michael McGillicutty
Time: 8:04

So next week Michael McGillicutty will face Seth Rollins in the semi-finals.

-But if you are not tired of reading match recaps featuring Justin Gabriel, Gabriel teams with Tyson Kidd this week to go head on with Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks on Superstars. Of course you can read Adam Barnowski's drunken report of WWE Superstars on F4WOnline.com.

Match #2
Kassius Ohno vs CJ Parker

Ohno's goal is to “genuinely hurt his opponent”. That's not nice.

Parker, who didn't get named until 30 seconds into the match, hit Ohno with a fireman's carry early on and almost nailed MVP's Play of the Day finisher within the first minute of the match, but Ohno rolled outside the ring.

Parker wouldn't let Ohno catch his breath, so Ohno caught Parker in the ring apron and stomped away at him.

Ohno hits a Corner Splash and a standing Swanton Bomb for a 2 count.

Parker tries to fight back, but gets a swift kick to the face for having the audacity to try a sunset flip. Ohno went for the Running Mafia Kick, but Parker caught it and went straight down 110th street with a Harlem Side Kick.

Parker showed off a bit too much and ran right into the KICK FROM HELL!

Ohno slammed Parker face-first on the mat a few times and then finished him off with a spinning elbow to the back of the head.

Winner: Kassius Ohno
Time: 4:32

-Footage of Mike Dalton & Jason Jordan's upset win of Hunico and Camacho aired, followed by Briley Pierce interviewing Dalton & Jordan, who are amazed that they actually beat two guys on SmackDown. Now that they won a match they are now a team.

I never heard someone so happy to beat a SmackDown Superstar. I really hope Seth Rollins brags about beating Drew McIntyre.

-A video package for NXT's #1 Comic Villain Tag Team, The Ascension, airs. They will be wrestling next week.

Match #3
Paige & Tamina Snuka vs Kaitlyn & Caylee Turner

Caylee is the sister of Alicia Fox and was on the last season of Tough Enough. So she got hired. Cameron got hired. Andy Levine, Big Eric, Luke Robinson and countless others either didn't get hired or got fired.

Caylee smiled at her foes and tagged out to Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn got a brief spurt of offense before trying to tag out, but Caylee didn't want to tag in. Kaitlyn turned around and got dropkicked and, again, Turner refused to tag in.

Paige and Tamina both take turns working over the winner of NXT Season 3. Kaitlyn powers Paige into the corner and, with her team on the offensive, Caylee tagged in.

Paige quickly took over on Caylee, tossing her around like yesterday's news. Tamina tagged in. Caylee fell on her ass going for a roll up, which made me chuckle, so Tamina kicked her in the head.

Kaitlyn tagged in long enough to take down Tamina before Caylee tagged back in. Tamina hit a Samoan Drop, which nearly made Caylee land on her head, before tagging out to Paige.

After some shenanigans with Kaitlyn and Tamina, Paige with a small package, pins Caylee.

Winners: Tamina & Paige
Time: 6:22

-We go to the back where Derrick Bateman wishes Bo luck. Derrick laments not being selected for the tournament, despite Bo costing them their match a few weeks ago, but all is good with them.

Match #4
Gold Rush Tournament Quarter-Final Match
Bo Dallas vs Jinder Mahal

The winner will face Richie Steamboat in the semi-finals next week. Jinder is dedicating this tournament to Dara Singh, who recently passed away.

It is now time for the.....MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EVENT!

Bo quickly takes down the brother in law of Great Khali (and Runjin Singh) and grounds him with a hammerlock. Jinder slowly gets to his feet and breaks it with an elbow.

Bo got a 1-count off of a cross body block and a 2-count off of a school boy when Jinder missed a kick to the yap.

Back in the ring, after he took a walk to get his bearings, Jinder nailed a low dropkick, taking down Bo.

Jinder grounds Bo, stomping away at him, on all sides of the ring, getting a 2 count off of an elbow.

Jinder goes for a Back Suplex, but Bo reverses the weight and falls on Mahal for a 2 count and then begins to build momentum, nailing a Powerslam for a 2 count.

Bo gets caught and hit with a tilt a whirl power slam for a 2 count. Jinder may be closing in on victory here.

But Jinder misses a splash and Bo hits a Tornado Bulldog Headlock for a 2 count.

Jinder hits a boot to the face, but misses a running knee. Bo goes for a double under hook something, but Jinder hangs him up in the ropes, delivers an STO and slaps on the Camel Clutch for the win!

Winner: Jinder Mahal
Time: 8:37

So it will be Seth Rollins vs Michael McGillicutty and Jinder Mahal vs Richie Steamboat next week in the semi-finals of the NXT Championship Tournament!

And that is it for this week, if you have any questions, comments, concerns or emotional outbursts, send 'em my way at [e-mail], on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man or by following me on Twitter @thereallyrealew!

[Agent P]

NWA: Total Nonstop Action #14
October 2, 2002
LIVE! From Nashville, Tennessee

by Emerson “Kevin Steen did not punch me in the face” Witner

SPOILER: Click to show

Contact me:

E-mail: [e-mail]
Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man
Twitter: @thereallyrealew

Current Champions:

NWA World: Ron Killings (since August 7, 2002)
TNA X-Division: Jerry Lynn (since August 28, 2002)
NWA World Tag Team: America's Most Wanted (since September 18, 2002)
Miss TNA: Bruce (since July 31, 2002)

In case you missed it, here's what you missed last week on NWA: TNA....

-Sonny Siaki got beat up by Jerry Lynn, but still beat Amazing Red and managed to break the hearts of Elvis fans everywhere by burning his Elvis jumpsuit.

-Mortimer Plumtree debuted a new “Weird X-Division Stalker” gimmick as he glared at all the X matches on the show.

-Ron Harris went banana (tm Pat Patterson by way of Mick Foley) after losing a tag team championship match and needed to be restrained by his twin brother.

-Miss TNA Bruce parked in a spot in the front of the building and got accosted by an old woman who wanted his spot.

-AJ Styles became the #1 contender to Jerry Lynn's X-Division title by taking 2 out of 3 falls from Low Ki.

-Jerry Lynn cleanly pinned the World Champion and a pier-6 brawl ended the show with Jeff Jarrett, Ron Killings, Elix Skipper and Brian Lawler standing victorious over the bodies of Scott Hall, Syxx Pac and BG James.

And that's what you missed on NWA: TNA.

-We kick off this week with BG James and Syxx Pax making their way to the ring. The ringside area is in a fog for some reason. No idea why since there is no pyro.

BG talks about being wily veterans and him and Pac want Jeff Jarrett, Brian Lawler and Elix Skipper tonight, comparing them to Gilligan's Island.

Turning his attention to the champ, he says if Ron Killings is the future than the future looks grim.

Pac talks about how Low Ki is getting a World Title shot, which you know makes a load of sense since he lost an X-Division #1 Contender's Match last week.

Pac says while Ki is talented, he is not in their league yet and either Pac or James should be getting a World Title shot.

The Truth comes out and says they have lost their damn heads if they are coming for him.

The fans chanted “overrated” at Killings, while the World Champion talked about how he is the future and only gives title shots to people held down like him.

Pac ordered Killings to the ring, so this brought out Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett notices that Scott Hall isn't there and says there is supposed to be a 6-man tag and someone appears to not be there.

James got angry at Jarrett for insinuating that Hall is home drinking. Jarrett says it will be a 3-on-2 Handicap Match tonight, which was the cue for Brian Lawler and Elix Skipper to attack from behind. James and Pac cleared the ring of their attackers and the segment came to an end.

Match #1
Amazing Red vs Shark Boy

The perennial opening match guy on these shows, Amazing Red, here to go one on one with Shark Boy. Remember about a month ago when Disco Inferno did Jive Talkin with a fake Baldwin brother? Turns out that was Shark Boy without the mask.

Elix Skipper went to the announce table, pissed off because he has been taken out of the 6-man tag team main event. In the two minutes since the last segment ended Skipper was pulled out and now it is Jarrett & Lawler vs James & Pac.

Meanwhile in the ring, Boy got a 2 count off of a Rude Awakening. In the back of the arena, we see new X-Division Stalker Mortimer Plumtree standing at the entry way watching the match.

Boy nails a Missile Dropkick for a 2 while Tenay soothes Skipper's ego, by saying he is a former WCW Cruiserweight Champion. Skipper got cut off mid sentence by Shark Boy heaving Red out of the ring to the floor.

Shark rolled in long enough to do a flip dive over the top rope. Red was in no position to catch him, so Boy fell with a thud to the mat and Red sold it anyway.

In the ring Red hit a neck breaker off the ropes for a 2 count, but Shark Boy fired back with the Dead Sea Drop, also getting a 2 count.

Boy went for a second DSD, but Red blocked it, hit a Scorpion Death Drop and the Infra-Red for the win.

Winner: Amazing Red
Time: 6:54

After the match Skipper got in the ring and beat down Red.

-Backstage Goldylocks interviewed Low Ki. Ki told Syxx Pac that he will remember what he said about Ki. Tonight Ki will take the NWA Title from The Truth.

-To the front of the building where The SAT was supposed to come out for some sort of qualifying match, but instead Ron Killings marched out and said he gave Low Ki a title shot because he felt sorry for his ass.

Truth told Ki to bring a gun to the dance and to get his punk ass out there.

Match #2
NWA World Championship
Ron Killings vs Low-Ki

Ki ran to the ring, the bell rings and the match is underway! NWA Title is on the line. Truth taking a quick advantage, but Ki fights back with a series of kicks and slaps.

As Tenay unsuccessfully tried to explain why Low Ki is getting a World Title shot despite losing last week, they fight outside the ring where Ki goes for a dive off the barricade, but Truth with a sidekick sends Ki flying three rows deep and taking out several fans!

Ki and Killings have a main event brawl around the arena as the fans get up close and personal with the championship contenders.

Killings knocks Ki down and then runs a production case into him. The Truth brings Ki back into the ring, scoring a 2 count with his feet on the ropes.

X-Division Stalker Mortimer Plumtree stands again in the aisle and observes the match. Killings with a combination Death Lock and abdominal stretch on the mat. The Truth makes the mistake of letting Ki back to his feet as Ki scores with chops and a rolling kick for a 2 count.

Killings takes Ki back down after being kicked in the face and punched the former X-Division Champ in the face a few times.

Ki to his feet hits a back springboard kick to Killings' head, but only gets a 2 count. Ki begins to build momentum. Truth is doing his best to stop him, but manages to get locked in the Dragon Clutch in the ropes!

Truth blocked the Ki Krusher and nailed a Muscle Buster for a 2 count. Ki blocked the Diamond Cutter and put on the Dragon Clutch! Killings got out of that, but got caught on the top rope. Ki went for a superplex, but Truth punched him in the ribs and then hit a middle rope front suplex for the win.

Winner and STILL NWA World Champion: Ron Killings
Time: 13:00

After the match The Truth grabs the mic and begins talking smack when he is attacked by a masked man dressed in all white! After beating down Killings, the masked man ran off.

Match #3
The SAT vs The Flying Elvis Impersonators

After last week, the FEI are now down to two men: Jorge Estrada and Jimmy Yang, now that Sonny Siaki has officially turned his back on the Elvis'.

This match was supposed to happen 20 minutes ago, but The Truth demanded his match happened then. The winner of this match will get a shot at the NWA Tag Team Championship against either AMW or whomever they defend against later tonight.

These two teams have faced off several times already, notably 2 months ago in a 6-man tag where Estrada and Yang sat at the announce table while Siaki wrestled alone.

This match was a big collection of high spots. The four men mostly going too fast for me to really keep track of what was going on.

Mortimer Plumtree appears again to watch this bout. Don West came up with the theory that he is not looking for a new man, but already has a new X-Division athlete and is scouting the competition.

Yang nearly breaks Joel Maximo's neck with a Moonsault Press. Joel is at least partly to blame for being too close. At this point Mortimer gets company as Sonny Siaki appears on the ramp to watch his former teammates fight for a title shot.

Estrada almost picks up the win with an Asai Moonsault and then the Springboard Twisting Moonsault for another two count.

Estrada misses a top rope leg drop, Jose shoots the half, but Yang breaks up the cover.

Too much stuff began happening for the camera to keep track. For some reason Siaki got in and reached for the tag. Estrada was dumb enough to go for the tag, but Siaki walked away. Jose scooped up Estrada on his shoulders and Joel came off the top with what could be called a Doomsday DDT for the win.

Winners: The SAT
Time: 8:48

-Goldylocks runs into Sonny Siaki, who wants an interview, but is attacked by Jerry Lynn! AJ Styles runs over and grabs Lynn from behind so Siaki beat on Lynn.

Siaki threw Lynn in an equipment case while AJ yelled at him he was lucky Bullet Bob didn't see him.

Match #4
Sonny Siaki vs David Young

Siaki is done punching Jerry Lynn in the head, so he moseys his way out for a match. His opponent this week is TNA resident jobber: David Young. Young hasn't been seen since going 0-3 the first few weeks of TNA.

David gets the quick start on Siaki, sending him out of the ring. Young goes for a baseball slide dropkick, but Siaki steps aside and sends Young crashing to the mat with a punch to the head.

In the ring Sonny hit a weird move that was a body slam into a TKO of sorts for a pair of 2 counts.

David gets hooked into the tree of woe and Siaki sprints across the ring with a pair of shoulder blocks to the upside down midsection of David.

Young actually hits a spine buster, but is slow to make the cover. David to the top, but misses a Moonsault, so Siaki hits a Roll of the Dice for the win.

Winner: Sonny Siaki
Time: 6:26

-We are shown the saddest footage of a wrestling match ever, the tag team title table match. Seriously, whomever was in charge of making this video made it more dramatic than the JFK assassination.

-To the back where the camera quickly zoomed in and out on Ron Harris. Ron says tonight is he is teaming with “The Man From Down Under”.

Match #5
NWA World Tag Team Championship
America's Most Wanted vs Ron Harris & Ashley Hudson

Hudson is The Man From Down Under. Tenay said he teamed with Luke Williams as The Bushwackers and then seconds later called him an 8-year veteran, which does not add up.

Harris and Storm take turns beating down the fake Butch, before Harris decides to taunt Harris, so Hudson attacks Harris and tags in Harris. Despite that, Harris hit a big cross body on Harris and scored a 2 count on Harris.

Confused yet?

Anyhoo the heels downed Storm and used the great equalizer: the punch and the clothesline. On a positive note Ron and Fake Butch tagged in and out a lot. On a negative note the match is a lot less entertaining when you aren't waiting for Brian Lee to attack fans.

Fake Butch scratched his throat and went for a diving something, but Storm rolled out the way and tagged Chris Harris.

Chris hit the Catatonic on Fake Butch, but Ron broke it up. Ron then accidentally kicked Butch in the face, Chris made the cover and won the match despite Ron standing there and gesticulating wildly instead of breaking it up.

Winners and STILL NWA Tag Team Champions: AMW
Time: 7:03

After the match Ron was disgusted by the way his partner didn't kick out from being kicked in the face, so he attacked Butch and James Storm with a chair. Ron then beat up security until Don Harris ran in and punched him in the mouth.

I wonder who Ron will team up with next.

-To the back, where Goldylocks is trying to interview Jerry Lynn, but the Flying Elvis Impersonators are huddled around him.

Match #6
X-Division Championship
Ladder Match
Jerry Lynn vs AJ Styles

Whether or not Lynn is ready, it is now time for the X-Division Title Match, which for some ungodly reason is a ladder match.

AJ attacks as Lynn enters the ring, snapping Lynn's bad neck off the top rope. Lynn goes for a suplex, but AJ blocks it and turns it into another neck breaker.

Mike Tenay mentions that AJ Styles is a former X and Tag Champ but was never pinned to lose either belt. He lost the X-Title in a 3-way where Low Ki pinned Jerry Lynn and in the double pin where him and Lynn lost the Tag belts, he had pinned Killings while Jarrett pinned Lynn.

While I typed that out nothing happened, as AJ just showboated. Lynn drop kicked the ladder into the face of AJ. Lynn tries to block out his neck pain, which is hard when AJ reverses an Irish Whip, sending Lynn crashing into a ladder.

Don wonders if AJ or The Truth are more hated by the fans. Well AJ gets cheered for doing cool stuff despite being a heel, so I would say Truth.

For the fourth time in six matches, X-Division Lurker Mortimer Plumtree stands at the aisle way and watches these two men die on a bunch of ladders.

AJ drops Lynn with a Fireman's Carry slam on the ladder. You have never seen someone place their opponent so gently on the ladder. I say that and then seconds later AJ hits an Asai Moonsault on Lynn, while he was still on the ladder.

Sonny Siaki came out on the ramp at this point to stare at the match.

AJ climbed the ladder and Lynn just reached up and yanked him off. Lynn climbed and AJ came off the top rope with a Missile Dropkick to his foe.

AJ sets up the ladder between the ring apron and the guardrail, but manages to get suplexed by Lynn onto it.


Lynn pulls the ladder back in, but AJ shoves Lynn off and Lynn flies into Scott Armstrong, who deserved it for being in a bad position.

AJ grabs a chair, which you know he couldn't use before in this No Disqualification Match. Ref bumps in No DQ Matches always make me laugh.

Lynn makes AJ bleed by sending Styles crashing head first on a chair with a leg drop.

With both men on the ladder, Lynn blocked a power bomb attempt and took AJ out with a hurricarana! They both begin climbing the ladder. Scott Armstrong is still dead from Lynn falling into him. AJ and Lynn suplex one another off the top of the ladder.

Lynn goes to the top rope and Siaki finally runs the 15 feet to the ring and yanks Jerry away. To continue a night of neck injuries, AJ with a springboard flip dive and lands on the top of Jerry's head.

After killing Jerry, AJ crawled back in, climbed the ladder and won his second X-Division Title!

Winner and NEW X-Division Champion: AJ Styles
Time: 17:45

-After the match Lynn tackles Siaki and beats him down. AJ attacks from behind and the heels double team Lynn.

The X-Division ran in to break it up.

Bullet Bob walks down and says that due to the shenanigans of AJ Styles and Sonny Siaki, he is ordering a rematch next week with AJ and Lynn and is reversing the decision, giving the belt back to Lynn.

Hooray for reverse decisions in No DQ Matches.

To elaborate Bob reversed the decision partly because of Siaki's interference during the match and partly for the pre-match beat down. So if he was going to give the belt to Lynn either way, why did he bother letting the match happen?

Next week:

-AJ Styles vs Jerry Lynn Ladder Match
-Chris Rock will be there to film Head of State
-Low Ki, Tony Mamaluke, Ace Steel and Kid Kash in an Iron Man Match (really?!?!)
-AMW vs The SAT vs the NWA Tag Team Titles

Match #7
Brian Lawler (w/April) & Jeff Jarrett vs BG James & Syxx-Pac

For those who don't remember, April is Brian's usually slutty dressed girlfriend that Lawler is worried will cheat on him with anything that has a penis. April, as I said, is usually dressed slutty, but tonight Brian has dressed her in pants and a top that covers more of her than usual.

It is now time for the.....MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EVENT!

Before the match Pac and James got on the mic. James saying he will make Jarrett his bitch. Pac said that he has been fucking April behind Lawler's back and if Jarrett and Lawler win, he may let Lawler watch.

This, of course, caused Lawler to flip out and take 30 seconds to run the 20 feet up the aisle to attack their foes at the bell.

The match started as the normal Jeff Jarrett main event with a giant brawl all over the arena that broke down into a tag team match.

The heels get the heat on Syxx Pac. Lawler, despite just hearing that his girlfriend is cheating on him with Pac, slaps on a headlock and tries to find out who the better grappler is.

James tags in, Lawler gets a brief spurt of offense and flips off James, so BG bites his fingers. Jarrett kneed James in the back, Lawler kicked him in the head and the heels took over on the 6-time WWF Tag Team Champion.

As the heel duo work over James, the fans show how much they care by chanting that they want puppies.

Pac gets the luke warm tag and lays out the Chosen One with a sit out power bomb for a 2 count. Pac kicks at Lawler, misses by a mile, but Brian sold anyhoo.

The fans start caring when Pac gives Jarrett the Bronco Buster. Pac goes for the X-Factor, but Lawler dropped 3 seconds too early, but sold the move anyway.

While the referee was outside, Elix Skipper ran in and gave Syxx the X-Factor, but Syxx kicked out when Lawler made the cover.

Jarrett slaps on the sleeper as Skipper and James fight around ringside. Pac's arm drops twice, but fights up on the third arm fall and reversed the sleeper, but Jarrett dropped him balls-first on the top rope.

The heels go for a double team, but Pac flies over with a double clothesline and makes the big tag to James, who was back on the apron.

Again the heels go for a double team and again are thwarted. This time BG hits a double juke and jive and then pins Lawler with the Pump Handle Slam.

Winners: BG James & Syxx-Pac
Time: 9:36

After the match Skipper ran in the ring and we had a 3-on-2 beating until Amazing Red ran in to get revenge on Skipper. Skipper disposed of him, but The SAT ran in and hit the Spanish Fly on Skipper. Jarrett with a chair took out several faces, The Truth came out and hit one of the faces with the championship belt and for the second straight week the show ends with wild shenanigans and this heel alliance standing tall at the end of the night.

So that is it for this week. The show was quite decent. Nothing bad, but no all time great matches or anything. So until Thursday for NXT, take care and have a good week!

[Agent P]

WWE NXT
August 16, 2012
LIVE! From Full Sail University

by Emerson “I am not Claire Lynch's baby daddy” Witner

SPOILER: Click to show

In case you missed it, here's what you missed last week on WWE NXT...

-A video package building up the NXT Championship Tournament aired, with all 8 participants talking about how important it was. The video would have been better if 2 guys hadn't already been eliminated.

-After talking about how offended she was with Raquel Diaz the previous week, Paige wrestled a tag team match where she made no mention of Raquel nor wrestled her.

-Derrick Bateman talked about being the longest tenured member of NXT, but still not being a member in the NXT Championship Tournament.

-Finally Jinder Mahal and Michael McGillicutty won their first round matches to advance to tonight's semi-final round.

And that's what you missed on WWE NXT.

To update you on the tournament...

First Round

Seth Rollins vs Drew McIntyre
Justin Gabriel vs Michael McGillicutty
Richie Steamboat vs Leo Kruger
Bo Dallas vs Jinder Mahal

Second Round

Seth Rollins vs Michael McGillicutty
Richie Steamboat vs Jinder Mahal

Onto the show!

-Earlier tonight Richie Steamboat is sitting around in the locker room when Briley Pierce interviewed him. Richie talked about dreaming about being a champion all his life. Jinder Mahal suddenly arrived on the scene and said Richie's dream was about to become a nightmare.

Match #1
Gold Rush Tournament Semi-Final Match
Jinder Mahal vs Richie Steamboat

Richie, despite just doing an interview talking about this being a dream, looked like he couldn't care less that he was here in this incredibly important match.

Richie nearly takes Jinder's head off 54 seconds in with a dropkick and picked up a 2 count. A series of reversals led to Jinder dropping Richie with a Stun Gun. I would normally make this joke about a blonde guy in WCW doing that move, but you have read that already.

Jinder with a running knee to the head, knocking Richie down, but Steamboat fought back to his feet. Jinder tripped him and went for the Camel Clutch, but Richie tripped him and got a 2 count off of a cradle.

They fought over a backslide, but Jinder scored with a neck breaker for a 2 count. Richie fought up and then went to the top for a Missile Dropkick, but Jinder moved and then slapped on the Camel Clutch for the win!

JINDER MAHAL IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANI....uh...I mean to the finals of the tournament.

Winner: Jinder Mahal
Time: 4:42

-Backstage Briley Pierce is interviewing Leo Kruger, who did not advance in the Gold Rush Tournament. Leo showed off his missing tooth and says something has been bothering him and brewing inside of him.

-Before I continue, have you been wondering what first round loser Drew McIntyre and NXT Redemption regulars, The Uso's, Alex Riley, Johnny Curtis and Michael McGillicutty have been up to? I mean other than competing on NXT? They have been on WWE.com Superstars every week! And what is better than actually watching the show? Reading Adam Barnowski's drunken review of it on F4WOnline.com! Man oh man (takes a drink), not only does he get to drink, he also gets the commentary styling of Scott Stanford!

-To the front where Heath Slater is walking to the ring. As he walks down the aisle, Heath encourages us to, and I quote, “take a minute to look at meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”. He mentions getting beaten down by the various legends on Raw and that doesn't matter and for us to listen up.

Heath issues an open challenge to anybody in the back. Nobody answers and we actually go to commercial break. We come back from commercial and get....

Match #2
Heath Slater vs Scotty 2 Hotty

Yes, I am serious. Scotty is a former WWE Tag Team Champion with both Grandmaster Sexay and Rikishi and a former Light Heavyweight Champion.

Scotty hasn't gained any weight in the past 7 years and is ¼ of my favorite comedy match ever (Too Much vs Al Snow & Head).

Scotty would hit a move and dance. Heath got frustrated and sent Scotty down with a clothesline and began dancing.

The fans chant for Scotty as he fights out of a rear chin lock, but Heath drops him with a neck breaker. Heath sent Scotty into the ropes, but Scotty hung onto the ropes. Heath turned his back for some reason. I mean even if Scotty came off the ropes, he would have crashed right into Heath.

Anyhoo Scotty with a bulldog and then hit the Worm for the win.

Winner: Scotty 2 Hotty
Time: 3:52

Match #3
The Ascension vs The Uso's

It's my favorite comic book villain duo vs my favorite pair of brothers who slap their thighs and yell before matches.

I really do not know if The Ascension are supposed to be comic book villains, but that is what I think of during their entrance, which is easily the most elaborate and impressive on the show.

I know I have already done my weekly plug, but The Uso's are headed to Superstars this week to go two on two with Michael McGillicutty and Johnny Curtis.

Jimmy and Jey have recently changed their tights from short trunks to baggy knee length trunks.

Kenneth Cameron takes the control on Jimmy and him and Conor O'Brian commence to do their annoying thing where they constantly tag in and out, each taking turns to take a stomp on their foe. How can you honestly say either man is anymore rested than the other?

Anyhoo Kenneth drops the elbow for a 2. Jimmy appears to have ripped the back pocket on his tights. The Ascension nails their double team jaw breaker/flap jack move that has defeated everyone, but Jimmy easily kicks out. I am willing to bet Jey forgot to make the save.

Jimmy somehow hit a Samoan Drop and made the lukewarm tag to his brother. Jey works over Cameron and nails the Umaga running hip attack. Jimmy dumps Conor to the outside.

Jimmy goes to the top for a Superfly Splash and Conor shoved Jey off the top to the floor....and the referee called for the DQ? What?!?!

Winners by disqualification: The Uso's
Time: 4:35

I hope The Ascension learned a valuable lesson. Never break up an attempted Superfly Splash. Maybe they didn't, as after the match they attacked Jimmy Uso and took his head off with TOTALELIMINATION! I mean Total Elimination.

-To the back where Richie Steamboat has finally arrived in the backstage area. Briley Pierce asks what he thinks about losing, but Richie shoves him aside and walks off.

-To another section of the locker room where a serious faced Matt Striker is standing by with Hunico and Camacho, who two weeks ago lost to Jason Jordan & Mike Dalton. Hunico said they lost because he had a stomach virus and a 170 degree temperature and Camacho had some incredibly serious injury that was so embarrassing that when Hunico said it in Spanish, Camacho was all “What the fuck? Don't tell them that.”

-To yet another section of the back where Raquel Diaz is putting her make up on. She has a tattoo of stars running down the center of her back and is wearing something on our shoulders that looks like water wings that you would put on your children to go swimming.

Anyhoo she says everyone is ugly.

You can tell this is not the old NXT, because then the three or four random backstage segments would somehow bleed into one at the end.

Match #4
Gold Rush Tournament Semi-Final Match
Michael McGillicutty vs Seth Rollins

It is now time for the...................MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EVENT!

One of these men will face Jinder Mahal, probably next week, to determine the first NXT Champion, while the loser (I am guessing who it will be) will team with Johnny Curtis this week on Superstars to face The Uso's.

The bell never actually rang to start the match, but this is far from the Bret Hart-Shawn Michaels Montreal match where they spent 10 minutes fighting outside the ring. I believe Bao Nguyen (Asian Ref) forgot to call for the bell. In case you think I am being racial or something, he wrestled Tyson Kidd on an episode of ECW and his name was Bao Nguyen. Look it up on YouTube, I'll wait.

After two minutes of chain wrestling, Michael slapped Seth, so the former ROH champion shot in with a double leg. Michael rolled outside the ring to catch his breath and Seth followed. They ran around and got back in the ring, Seth sent Michael back outside and hit a Suicide Dive to the outside on Mr. Average!

Why do they keep insisting on pushing Michael McGillicutty? I mean I know he is the son of either Mr. Perfect or Beulah, but he is nothing more than an average wrestler, which makes him as good as pretty much everyone on the lower card.

We go to commercial and see an ad for Paul Heyman vs Stephanie McMahon and come back in time to see MMG hit a side suplex for the 2 count.

To the top rope where Rollins delivered a series of head butts to the cranium of MMG. McGillicutty blocked a sunset flip power bomb, but Rollins eventually grabbed him and hit a running power bomb into the corner!

One stomp to the back of the had and Rollins wins!

Winner: Seth Rollins
Time: 7:43

After the match Jinder Mahal comes out to confront Seth, when we are interrupted by Interim NXT General Manager Dusty Rhodes, who announces that the finals have been set. He doesn't actually mention when it will happen, so Jinder rolls into the ring and attacks Seth!

Seth fights back and sends him outside and that is it for this week!

I assume the championship match is next week, but no one mentions it, so I have no idea. Remember when I thought NXT: Redemption was almost over because the only two Rookies left were Titus O'Neil and Darren Young? The damn season continued for 11 more months. In all fairness I would mark out if I don't get a final match until July 2013.

Any which way, until next week, if you have any questions, comments, concerns or emotional outbursts, send 'em my way at [e-mail], on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man or by following me on Twitter @thereallyrealew!

[Agent P]

NWA: Total Nonstop Action #15
October 9, 2002
LIVE! From Nashville, Tennessee

by Emerson “No fooling around with clients and always be prepared” Witner

SPOILER: Click to show

Contact me:

E-mail: [e-mail]
Facebook: www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man
Twitter: @thereallyrealew

Current Champions:

NWA World: Ron Killings (since August 7, 2002)
TNA X-Division: Jerry Lynn (since August 28, 2002)
NWA World Tag Team: America's Most Wanted (since September 18, 2002)
Miss TNA: Bruce (since July 31, 2002)

In case you missed it, here's what you missed last week on NWA: TNA....

-Scott Hall did his first ever (but not last ever) TNA no-show and was promised to appear the following week.

-After losing an X-Division Title #1 Contender's Match the previous week, Low-Ki was granted a World Title shot....which he promptly lost.

-The Truth was then beaten down by a 150-pound lanky guy in a white jumpsuit and mask.

-Syxx Pac claimed to be sleeping with Brian Lawler's slutty girlfriend April.

-X-Division stalker Mortimer Plumtree stood near the entrance ramp and stared at various matches.

-Jerry Lynn attacked Sonny Siaki, who then attacked Jerry Lynn and helped AJ Styles win the X Title in a Ladder Match.

-Bullet Bob said he wasn't allowing AJ to win the title because of the shenanigans before the match. With that logic he should have just not allowed the match to happen, since Lynn was always going to retain the title.

-Ron Harris teamed with a man named Ashley Hudson, who Mike Tenay claimed used to team with Luke as The Bushwhackers, despite only wrestling since 1994.

-Finally the heel gang of The Truth, Jeff Jarrett, Elix Skipper and Brian Lawler left the baby face contingent of BG James, Syxx Pac, The SAT and Amazing Red lying.

And that's what you missed on NWA: TNA

-The show starts with Mike Tenay and Don West talking about Chris Rock and Hermie Sadler both being here tonight. The most noticeable thing is under Mike and Don's name were “Don West-Ed Ferrara”. Welcome to WCW.

-Jeremy Borash goes to introduce the first match when NWA World Champion Ron Killings hits the ring instead. Truth gets the cheapest heat possible by making fun of the Tennessee Titans and the Memphis Grizzlies.

As the fans chant “overrated” at him, The Truth turned his attention to BG James, Syxx Pac and Scott Hall. The Truth commented that they must be behind the mystery attack from last week.

Killings yelled at Don West, so West called shenanigans and ordered the video of Killings beating down the baby faces from last week to air.

Ron told him to shut up and threatened to “Sammy Sosa his ass”. Why would he inject Don with steroids that caused him to be unable to speak English when confronted by congress?

Finally BG James and Syxx Pac cut him off. Apparently for the second week in row Scott Hall has no showed. BG says he has been trying to keep Ron from crying and whining like a little girl, but promises to teach him a lesson tonight. The lesson is that we do not live in a perfect world.

That phrase brings out Curt Hennig! Hennig is in the Asylum! Hennig says he will be the mystery partner of BG and Syxx in a 6-man main event tonight.

Pac said that the three of them will kick Truth's ass so bad, Truth will thing he is on drugs. The three of them stormed to the ring, but they were attacked by Jeff Jarrett and Brian Lawler! We have a pier-6 brawl in the ring, with the faces getting the advantage.

BG orders the match to start now. The heels shake their heads, but eventually give in and we have our opener.

Match #1
6-Man Tag
Ron Killings, Jeff Jarrett & Brian Lawler (w/April) vs Curt Hennig, Syxx Pac & BG James (aka Team Derelict)

If Killings hates his three foes because they are all drug addicts, then why is he teaming with Brian Lawler, who got fired from the WWF for trying to bring drugs across the border into Canada?

Anyhoo, the match was on for two full minutes while I typed the last few paragraphs out and literally nothing happened.

Brian Lawler went backstage and dragged his skanky girlfriend April out. Last week Syxx claimed she was sleeping with him. Nothing new on that yet.

Nothing much happened early on, as most of the opening 5 minutes were stalling, with the faces throwing the heels around and the heels rolling outside and throwing water around.

Finally Brian slammed Syxx to the mat, tagged out to the NWA Champion and the heels took over. Only briefly, however, as Truth went for a springboard leg drop, but Syxx rolled out of the way and tagged out to BG.

Truth did the splits and then took down his former and future tag team partner with a scissors kick.

Jarrett tagged in, but missed his move where he jumps on the back of his foe, who is laying in the middle rope and tagged right out. Lawler came in and spat at the front row. Considering the reaction he hit someone.

Jarrett is being treated like a jobber tonight, not connecting with offense on anyone. Pac almost wins with a cross body off the top rope. Lawler tried breaking it up, but accidentally hit Jarrett. The Chosen One got his first offensive move in, when Pac went for the Bronco Buster, he got his foot up and got acquainted with Syxx's balls.

An excellent old school three on one beat down happened as Lawler and Hennig distracted the referee as the heels beat down Pac. So simple but so hard.

Pac finally makes a brief comeback and gets the hot tag to Hennig, who single-handedly takes out all three men. Eventually James ran Jarrett off with a steel chair.

In the ring Lawler uppercut Curt in the balls and went for the Tennessee Jam and actually connected for the two count when Pac broke it up. I am as shocked as you are.

Syxx nailed the X-Factor on the champ, but Lawler pulled the ref out and decked him. Pac, pissed off, dove over the top rope onto Lawler and fought him off to the backstage area.

From out of nowhere comes the mystery masked man from last week, who has Mr. Wrestling III on his back. Truth goes for a leg lariat, but III catches him and lays him out with a sit out power bomb. Hennig then finishes off Killings with the Hennig Plex.

Winners: Curt Hennig, BG James & Syxx Pac
Time: 14:27

-No time for Curt to celebrate pinning the World Champ as we go to the back where Goldylocks runs up a set of steps and finds BG James laid out, Jeff Jarrett sitting on the steps and a pipe laying nearby.

-A video of the X-Division Ladder Match shenanigans from last week aired. I still don't know how you have a reverse decision in a No DQ Match.

That leads us to Jeremy Borash introducing X-Division Champion Jerry Lynn, who is now tied for the longest reigning X champ in history at 6 weeks. AJ was champ for 6 weeks and Ki was champ 3 weeks.

Lynn says that if he is still champ after tonight, he wants Sonny Siaki next week. Siaki came out and said he should fight him now. Lynn sprinted up the ramp and the fight was on! Siaki threw Lynn off the stage and into the guardrail! Lynn somehow caught his leg in the guardrail and is down!

What will happen?

Paramedics and EMT's rush out to help Jerry, who is yelling “not again”, making reference to having a serious knee injury at the end of his WWF tenure. In 2001.

-Earlier today Goldy interviewed Syxx Pac about his comments last week about Low-Ki. Syxx went up to Ki and apologized for his comments. Ki appreciated his words, but before he could say anything more, AJ Styles walked in and said AJ should be Pac's favorite wrestler in TNA, not Low-Ki.

And that was it.

Match #2
NWA Tag Team Championship
America's Most Wanted vs The SAT

The undefeated World Tag Team Champions' only reaction is to James Storm's pop guns and someone in the audience proclaiming himself a Buckeroo.

Storm starts with Joel. They shake hands and Storm takes Joel down with several arm bars. Joel takes down Storm and slaps on an Indian Death Lock, forcing the Cowboy to get the ropes. Jose with a blind tag before Storm takes down Joel, Jose comes off with a Missile Dropkick, so Harris came in with a spear from hell, taking out Jose Maximo.

Jose and Harris fought for a bit, Jose to the top rope, but Harris shoved him off, causing Jose to flip over the post and land on his partner!

Back in the ring Storm went for a Moonsault, but Jose tripped him up and hit a Dominator off the ropes for a 2 count. Joel sets Storm up for a neck breaker off the top rope, but Jose came off the top rope at the same time with a Moonsault! Storm was just able to kick out.

Storm hit a TKO for a 2 count and tagged out to Harris. Chris hit a running power slam for a 2 count on Jose.

Jose hits a Tornado DDT and makes the tag to Joel, who hits a series of moves on both men, including almost winning the championship with a Moonsault. Jose blocked the super kick and went for a springboard move, but Storm hit him with a super kick off the ropes!

More crazy brawling and Jose got a 2 count off of a top rope leg drop on Storm. Harris with the Catatonic on Jose, but Joel broke it up. Harris made it to the top rope and got tripped up. The SAT then went for the Spanish Fly, but Storm broke it up and they hit a wacky move that they couldn't give anyone else for the win.

Winners and STILL NWA Tag Team Champions: America's Most Wanted
Time: 10:25

-Goldylocks went to the ring and introduced Chris Rock. Rock, who was there to tape stuff for his movie Head of State, got the most positive reaction of the night so far.

Rock said that NWA: TNA was the best and told other people to come get their ass kicked. Chris then walked off.

Yes that was it.

Anyhoo Head of State wasn't too bad.

Match #3
15-minute Iron Man 4-way Match
Kid Kash vs Tony Mamaluke vs Ace Steel vs Low-Ki

Ace Steel becomes the third person to use the theme that would eventually be used by Abyss. The wrestler that scores the most pins in 15 minutes wins the match.

12 seconds into the match we are joined by X-Division Stalker Mortimer Plumtree, who joins the commentary table.

This match is a giant cluster of moves with no rhyme or reason. The most notable thing early on is Kash hitting a hurricarana on both Ki and Mamaluke, but Steel fell on his head instead.

A dive sequence occurred where everyone scaled to the corner of the ring where the camera was, which made for a cool look once the dude was already in the air, but was hard to see before they jumped.

Kash and Ki both went for a springboard clothesline to each other and collided spectacularly in mid-ring.

Mamaluke and Steel crawled into the ring and scored a pin on one man.

Steel: 1
Mamaluke: 1
Low-Ki: 0
Kash: 0

Ace and Tony grounded Ki and Kash in an effort to keep the two men from fighting back into the match. The problem with that is one of them have to score another pin to take the lead.

Halfway through the match Kash dropped Mamaluke on his head for a pin.

Steel: 1
Mamaluke: 1
Kash: 1
Ki: 0

Ki went for the Ki-Krusher 99, but Steel fought it off. Steel almost dropped Ki on his head by accident, but Ki slapped on an arm-breaker for the tap out.

Steel: 1
Mamaluke: 1
Kash: 1
Ki: 1

With 6 minutes to go, Mamaluke and Kash are fighting on top of the announcers table. Kash gave Tony a body slam, where Tony landed on his shoulder.

Ki rolled his ankle when going for a Springboard WhatAManeuver, so Steel took him out with a Dragon Screw Leg Whip.

The match didn't have the same excitement as if they just did a 4-way match. The three minute warning signaled with all four men just standing around. Kash slapped on a Lion Tamer, so Ace Steel hit a Missile Dropkick.

Low Ki sat out for a few minutes, which killed the intensity of the match. The fans wanted Ki to win, but he was napping.

With less than a minute to go, the match began to pick up a little bit. No one appeared to be rushing the matter, though.

Ki gave Steel the Dragon Sleeper in the ropes. Mortimer left the broadcast booth. They combined the WrestleMania V Rude-Warrior finish with the Rock-HHH Iron Man finish. Steel pinned Ki, but the fall was several seconds after the time limit expired. But since that was the finish, Steel was given the win.

Winner: Ace Steel
Time: 15:05

Mortimer walked off with Ace Steel. Great.

-Don West got in the ring and introduced Hermie Sadler. The NWA: TNA race car debuts this coming Saturday on TNT. Hermie was confident. Don was excited.

That was until we were joined by Miss TNA, Bruce. Bruce hasn't been around in 2 weeks and the last time Hermie was here in TNA, he got into a confrontation with Bruce.

Bruce's question for Hermie is will he be a race car driver or a wrestler. For some odd, unknown reason, this brought out Jeff Jarrett.

Jarrett ran down Hermie as well. Great way to put over the guy driving your damn car.

Jarrett wants to know why a real driver like Dale Jr, Tony Stewart or Elliot Sadler to drive the car. Jarrett said he sucks at both driving and wrestling.

Hermie mentions that Jarrett hasn't won any championships either. Hermie mentions that every time he is out here to promote the show, he gets called out by a wrestler. To Bruce, he asks if Bruce is going to grow up to be a man or a woman.

This leads to the weirdest two-on-one beat down ever as Jarrett and Bruce attack Hermie. BG James makes the save.

Match #4
#1 Contender's Match
Ron Harris & Sonny Siaki vs Chris & Rick Michaels

So to determine the #1 contenders to the World Tag Team Championship, we have a match between a team that has never teamed with each other against a team never seen in TNA.

The winners face Storm & Harris next week. Rick and Chris Michaels are not related. Then one of them should change their last name, don'tcha think?

Chris and Rick get a brief amount of offense on both men, before Ron throws Rick over the top rope to the floor. You know, back in the old NWA/WCW days, a throw over the top rope was an automatic disqualification.

I am trying to figure out why Siaki would want to team with Harris. He just got out of a 3 month long partnership with the Flying Elvis' where he pretty much said he did not want to be part of a team.

Ron and Sonny generally spend most of the match beating down both men. Michaels and Michaels score the telegraphed upset victory when Chris pinned Sonny after Ron accidentally kicked Siaki. After Ron kicked Sonny, Ron just walked away annoyed instead of breaking the pin up.

Winners: Chris & Rick Michaels
Time: 7:25

After the match Ron and Sonny brawled, only to be broken up by Don Harris.

-To the ring where Bill Behrens announced that since Jerry Lynn could not compete, he will be stripped of the championship and that Ace Steel will face AJ Styles in a Ladder Match for the X-Division Title.

When Lynn is ready to return he can have any match he wants with the X Champ.

Low-Ki limped out and pointed out the bullshit that was the ending of the Iron Man Match. Mortimer Plumtree and Ace Steel paraded out. Mortimer called Ki a liar.

Mortimer mentions that the whole world is talking about how Ki threatened to beat up Tammy Sytch. No idea what he's talking about there.

Ki called Plumtree a nerd.

Bullet Bob Armstrong marched out and said this was professional wrestling and not professional talking. Bob demanded Low-Ki vs Ace Steel with the winner getting AJ Styles tonight.

Match #5
#1 Contender's Match
Low-Ki vs Ace Steel

I should point out that the match started an hour and 37 minutes into this two hour pay per view.

40 seconds into the match Mortimer hit Ki in the knee with a chair, causing him to be counted out.

Winner: Ace Steel
Time: 1:30

Yes, it took 50 seconds to count Low Ki out.

Bullet Bob came out and reversed the decision, giving Ki the win by DQ.

With everyone arguing, Bullet Bob took the mic and said right now every X-Division wrestler in creation would have a ladder match right now for the championship.

Match #6
Ladder Match
X-Division Championship

Ace Steel, Tony Mamaluke, Kid Kash, The SAT and AJ Styles all hit the ring for the match. So we appear to have a 6-way ladder match. One of these men will become the new X-Division Champion here tonight.

The SAT almost won the tag titles, Mamaluke and Kash and Steel were in that total clusterfuck earlier and now AJ Styles, who is fresh, will get to pick the bones.

A 5 way brawl erupts outside the ring, so AJ hits a Springboard Shooting Star Press to the pile outside.

AJ is slowly laying everyone out outside the ring. Mamaluke ran under the ladder to spear AJ. Jose hit the ladder with a dropkick. Tony fell off and fell onto the very same Jose Maximo who knocked him off.

Ace took the worst ladder bump of all time, taking a front suplex onto it and he leaned over with his head. If you don't want to take ladder bumps then don't. There are six people in the match and I am willing to bet no one would remember that you didn't take a bump on top of a ladder.

Kash gave a ladder a bulldog and the ladder landed on Styles. Outside the ring Tony kept punching Ace, while Mortimer stood behind his shoulder with an amazed look on his face.

The Maximo's managed to kill each other inadvertently. Jose was caught up in the tree of woe in a ladder set up in the corner. Someone placed another ladder in front of Jose, so Kash and AJ teamed up to run Joel into the ladders in the corner that Jose was sandwiched between.

Kash climbed a ladder, Tony tried pushing it over, but Kash took a wonky bump off of it. Kash climbed a second time and instead of grabbing the belt, did a moonsault to the mat. He kicked one of the Maximo's in the shoulder, tho.

AJ with a shoulder block to a ladder, which slammed into a Maximo. Tony has been selling his shoulder and arm the whole match and ever since being body slammed off of the announce table in the prior match. If he really was hurt, he shouldn't have been in this match.

Our giant cluster of moves continues with Kash trying to power bomb Tony off of the ladder, but the ladder collapses. AJ tried climbing the ladder, but got shoved off into the referee. Not sure the point of it since the referee was back up seconds later.

AJ decided that Jose Maximo should never have children again, by dropping a ladder right into Mr. Happy. Steel and Mamaluke die off of a ladder bump when Kash hit a Missile Dropkick to the ladder, sending both men off.

The SAT man'd up and got back in the ring and hit an AJ Styles-assisted Spanish Fly. AJ then took Steel out with the best float-over power bomb I have ever seen off of a ladder. AJ and Mamaluke take each other out with a DDT off of the ladder.

AJ heaves Tony over the top rope to the floor and then knocks Kash out with a superplex.

The fans begin the cheer as AJ starts climbing the ladder, but that was because Syxx Pac came to the ring and gave AJ a back suplex off of the ladder!

Syxx Pac, who is technically an X-Division guy climbed the ladder and got the title and the win.

Winner and NEW X-Division Champion: Syxx-Pac
Time: 15:51

Pac held the title for 4 seconds before Don West announced that he was just told that next week AJ and Syxx Pac would have a ladder match for the title. Why?

That is it from clusterfuck central. See ya Thursday for NXT!

[Agent P]

WWE NXT
August 23, 2012
LIVE! From Full Sail University

by Emerson “I am not angry at Dave Meltzer for spoiling the NXT Championship Tournament Finals. Really.” Witner

SPOILER: Click to show

-Before I dive in, I want to let everyone know that this Saturday is the day I move. No, I do not need any more help. But even though the internet is supposed to be turned on that day, I do not know if it actually will. With that in mind, if my NXT report or my TNA weekly ppv report (exclusively on AngryMarks.com) are delayed, please rest assured that I will catch up with anything that I miss.
-I will miss Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins as a team, however.

In case you missed it, here's what you missed last week on WWE NXT...

-Richie Steamboat talked about his dream of being a champion...he then lost in 4 minutes to Jinder Mahal.

-Leo Kruger talked about his missing tooth.

-Scotty 2 Hotty randomly appeared on NXT and pinned Heath Slater.

-The Ascension got disqualified for not allowing the Uso's to hit the Superfly Splash.

-Hunico and Camacho claimed that their loss a few weeks ago was because Hunico had a 170 degree temperature and Camacho had some embarrassing Spanish disease.

-Finally Seth Rollins pinned Michael McGillicutty and had a stare down with his championship tournament finals opponent: Jinder Mahal.

And that's what you missed on WWE NXT.

-We kick the show off with the announcement that next week will be the championship tournament final between Seth Rollins and Jinder Mahal.

Match #1
Derrick Bateman vs Antonio Cesaro (w/Aksana)

The by-default winner of NXT Redemption vs the new United States Champion to kick off this weeks episode of NXT.

Mr. Regal explains that he calls Cesaro “The Ultimate Catcher” because “catcher” is what you call a wrestler in Europe.

Regardless Bateman gets a 2 count off of a high dropkick and a snap suplex. Antonio drops Bateman throat-first on the top rope and gets a pair of 1 counts off of a double under hook suplex.

Derrick fights out of a rear chin lock and hits a side suplex and explodes with a series of clotheslines, including a running one into the corner.

Bateman hits the DDD, but Cesaro rolled to the ramp. Back in the ring Bateman missed a DDE and Cesaro finished off his foe with a gut wrench suplex and the Neutralizer, which I think is more of a Cradle Piledriver into a Styles Clash, as opposed to a Pedigree.

Winner: Antonio Cesaro
Time: 4:00

-A video package aired where Daniel Bryan, The Miz, Santino Marella and Kofi Kingston talked about the importance of being a champion and especially being the first champion. John Cena talked about how much of an honor it would be to be the first NXT Champion.

Match #2
Tamina Snuka vs Sofia Cortez

Tamina is the daughter of Jimmy Snuka, while Sofia was released from WWE over 2 weeks ago, so it probably isn't a secret who pulls off the victory here.

Sofia uses, and I quote, “her MMA skill set”, which included jumping on Tamina's back and yanking her by the hair.

Tamina gets to her feet and punches Sofia in the face. Tamina put her foe down with a super kick for a 2 count, before finishing her WWE career with a Superfly Splash.

Winner: Tamina Snuka
Time: 2:53

After the match Raquel Diaz attacked Tamina and drew the number 7 on her head in lipstick...but if you look at it from a different angle, it is an L! Raquel is calling Tamina a loser!

-This is a bad week to be losing on TV. Chris Jericho loses his job. Now Sofia Cortez is gone. You know who else loses a lot? Drew McIntyre. But he has a shot at regaining his winning ways this week on Superstars when he goes one on one with Alex Riley, who is on a 2 match winning streak. Do you not want to watch the match? That's okay, because a drunk Adam Barnowski will watch and review it for you. You just need to read about it in Adam's complete Superstars report on F4WOnline.com.

Match #3
Kassius Ohno vs Jake Carter

Jake Carter pulls jobber duty this week against Ohno. Carter is the son of The Man They Call Vader. Who is they? And why do they call him Vader? Are They the only people who can call him Vader? And if so, what do the rest of us call him? Are They the same people behind Immortal?

Carter gets some token jobber offense in, before Ohno kicks him in the face. Ohno kicks him some more before Carter gets tired of being kicked in the face and fights back. Since Jake doesn't like being kicked, Ohno finished him off with a discus punch to the face.

Winner: Kassius Ohno
Time: 3:55

After the match Kassius beat on his foe, before being run off by Richie Steamboat.

-The video of all the pre-SummerSlam shenanigans aired. I wonder if Sheamus had any luck in giving away Hornswoggle. I am about to give baseball and wrestling fans a total nightmare. Imagine if Raw's announce team was Michael Cole and Joe Buck.

-Ted DiBiase, Santino Marella, Dolph Ziggler and John Cena talk about how winning the NXT Championship is just step one and that this is to let people know that you are the future of WWE.

Match #4
Michael McGillicutty & Johnny Curtis vs Tyson Kidd & Justin Gabriel

Dirty Curty and Michael McGillicutty return to the show that they got their start on. Gabriel, of course, was on ECW for like a month before being in NXT Season 1 and Tyson Kidd remains the most under utilized and underrated person in WWE.

This is the.....MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNNNNNNNNN EVENT! But despite that, we do have another segment to follow, where Jinder and Seth will have a face to face confrontation.

Gabriel and Kidd spend the first several minutes of the match working over McGillicutty with an impressive series of moves. MMG finally kicks Gabriel in the gut, but Justin manages to knock Curtis off the apron...but gets turned ass over teakettle with a vicious clothesline!

McGillicutty tags out during the commercial break and we come back with the Weird One driving his shoulder into the mid-section of Gabriel. Curtis with an Irish Whip and a snap suplex for a 2 count before slapping on a rear chinlock.

Gabriel fights back, but gets hip tossed by Curtis. Curtis goes up top, but Gabriel rolls out of the way of a twisting moonsault and makes the tag to Kidd!

Kidd hit a series low dropkicks and went for a corner charge, but got a drop toe hold, sending his face into the middle turnbuckle.

Curtis takes Kidd to the top rope, but Kidd shoved him off and went for a Springboard Moonsault, but slipped on the top and nearly landed on his head.

Finally the good guys won with a double team Buff Blockbuster.

Winners: Justin Gabriel & Tyson Kidd
Time: 7:40

-Backstage Kassius Ohno accepts Richie Steamboat's challenge to a match next week.

-We go back to the ring where Byron Saxton introduces both Seth Rollins and Jinder Mahal to the ring for a face to face confrontation.

Seth talks about the opportunity to become champion means everything to him, as he always wanted to be a champion in WWE. As a kid he didn't know what to do with his life until he discovered wrestling, which is giving him purpose and a dream. He says there is no way he is leaving Full Sail University without becoming the first ever NXT Champion.

Jinder replied by saying Seth sounded like a born loser, just like all these people in the arena. Jinder said this is his birthright and that Seth's dream will remain a dream.

Seth took offense to being called a loser, so Jinder punched him in the face and beat him to the mat. Rollins fought back and sent Jinder to the outside with a clothesline, before coming through the ropes with a Suicide Dive!

Referees broke it up and that is all for this week.

A good little angle to finish off the show and get us ready for next week, where we will find out who will be the first NXT Champion.

Until then if you have any questions, comments, concerns or emotional outbursts, send 'em my way at [e-mail], on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man or by following me on Twitter @thereallyrealew!

[Agent P]

-My very first NXT review *sob*


WWE NXT
October 19, 2010
Live on WWE.com from Edmonton, Alberta

by Emerson Witner

SPOILER: Click to show

Quote Of The Week: "This contest is very symbollic of the show. How low can you go?" NXT MVP Michael Cole during the Limbo Contest.

Hiya everyone, I am your brand spankin new reporter here on the WWE.com version of NXT. Some of you may know me from The Board, from Facebook, or if you are like my brother, are reading this because I told you it was here.

I have been a wrestling fan for almost 19 years, an Observer subscriber for 5 and a member of the Empire off and on since the merge a few years back.

I wanna thank Dave and Bryan for giving me the chance to write the NXT report, I wanna thank everyone who wrote tv reports over the years, including those now whose work I will be directly compared to, and finally, as corny as this sounds, I would like to thank you all for reading this.

Onto the show!

Pre-show thoughts: I log onto WWE.com at 9:50 and get treated to 10 straight minutes of the NXT theme song. I wish Wild and Young was back all of a sudden.

We are two weeks until the next Pro's Poll and the second elimination, which is a show that will also feature the wedding of Goldust and Aksana.

As Matt Striker congratulates Naomi and AJ for winning last weeks competitions, Vickie Guerrero interrupts to berait Kaitlyn, this week for the outfit that she chose to wear to the ring. Vickie told Kaitlyn she was recommit herself to helping her win, starting with her look. After watching the ensuing match I wish Vickie would have lent Kaitlyn either of Eddie Guerrero's DVD's.

Anyway, as Vickie told Kaitlyn to put on the sweatshirt that she was gracious enough to bring and offer as a gift, Maxine has had enough. Maxine would rather have Vickie as her Pro instead of Alicia Fox, who obviously took great offense to this.

So, how did we resolve this? Of course! Maxine vs Kaitlyn.

During the first of many commercial breaks the commercial for SmackDown from two weeks ago aired hyping up Rey Mysterio vs Alberto Del Rio in Rey's first match on SyFy.

Match #1
Maxine (w/Alicia Fox) vs Kaitlyn (w/Vickie Guerrero)

Kaitlyn actually put the sweatshirt on during the commercial break to wear throughout the match, a fact noted by Michael Cole and Josh Matthews. Michael and Josh weren't really needed for this match as Vickie and Alicia were mic'd and we got to listen to helpful tidbits such as "Get her!" and "Come on!" If I owned an NFL team I would hire those two as motivators immediately.

I know you will be very surprised to hear this, but this match sucked. After referring to it as the worst segment in the illustrious 8 month history of the show, Michael Cole decided to put the headset down and answer a call from his Mother.

The good news is Michael Cole loves his Mom, which is always nice. The bad news is this match went almost 4 minutes. The two of them somehow, someway ran into Vickie, who stood on the apron the whole match (as did Alicia) and Maxine reversed a botched rollup attempt into a botched rollup for the win!

Winner: Maxine (3:53)

The MVP of NXT, Michael Cole sent us to the same Stand Up For WWE video that aired on Raw last night. My only thought upon watching this was "Well at least WWE.com gets more views then PerezHilton.com"

Am I fed up with the elitists who criticize WWE? Honestly if the critics were spreading untruths about the company then yeah I'd be annoyed. I think Vince would be better off ignoring all of it.

We got told that last Friday's SmackDown was the most watched show on SyFy in 5 years. Didn't the show get a 1.9? If I remember right, the debut episode of ECW back in 2006 did a 2.8. Yes I am nitpicking over one year.

Up next we got our latest Rookie Diva Competition...Name That Body!

Now if I am not mistaken, at the start of the season the Diva's were told that each contest would be designed to show how smart, sexy or powerful they were. So does knowing what Vladimir Kozlov's abs look like make you smart enough to be a diva?

The competition consisted of them showing pictures of wrestlers stomachs and the very top of their trunks. In theory they were supposed to wait for choices, but the only time Matt got it out ahead of time Aksana picked Michelle McCool, who wasn't even a choice.

Pictures of Dashing Cody Rhodes (guessed by Naomi), Kelly Kelly (Kaitlyn), John Morrison (Kaitlyn), Maryse (Naomi), John Cena (A.J.), Gail Kim (A.J.), Vladimir Kozlov (Maxine-AJ guessed The Great Khali) and Melina (Naomi) were shown.

Naomi wins her second challenge going into the second challenge of the night later.
But first more commericals!

After a looooong Raw Recap we are backstage with Goldust and Aksana where Goldust says in two weeks they will be married and thus clear up the immigration problems with Aksana. Goldust is falling badly for Aksana, who in turn considers Goldust a great friend for doing this. If Goldust turned heel on her it could be interesting watching him threaten her with deportation if she didn't do as he said.

Anyway Aksana was given a large golden engagement ring and proceeded to I Dream Of Jeanie into the ring, as after the minute long Make A Wish video she went from the locker room to the middle of the ring.

Rookie Diva Competition #2 is the dreaded Limbo Contest.

The bar was raised so high at the start A.J. could of walked right underneath it. Maxine was looking the best as her and Naomi were the only two Limboing correctly, but Maxine was also doing it wearing a tight skirt.

Kaitlyn and A.J. mounted one another at one point. Yeah. I know. I guess WWE.com is not TV PG. It came down to Maxine and Naomi, with Naomi pulling out the win after Maxine's hand touched the mat.

So to recap, with her two wins tonight Naomi has 3 competition wins to 1 for A.J. Whomever has the most competitions won gets immunity from elimination in 2 weeks.

We get the correct SmackDown commercial along with a commercial for Knucklehead where critic Jeffrey Lyons couldn't stop laughing apparently.

If you wanna check this show out, highlights are now available on YouTube, Hulu and WWE.com.

Match #2
Naomi & Kelly Kelly vs The Bella Twins

Eight months ago when this show started, the first main event was Chris Jericho vs Daniel Bryan. Why couldn't I have reviewed that show?

Anyway, this match was indeed better then the opener, as Kelly's spinning headscissors was the most entertaining in-ring moment of the show.

The story of the match is Brie was getting her butt kicked by both K-Squared and Naomi, which caused Nikki to get angry.

The end of the match came with the referee distracted and Nikki tripping Naomi. Nikki pushed Brie out of the ring and made the pin.

Winners: The Bella Twins (4:34)
　
And that was it. 54 minutes of NXT and I survived my first week. Overall the show was about what was to be expected. It's not gonna have 5-star wrestling action every week, so if that's what you are expecting, you really need to watch something else.
Until next week,
　
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Emotional Outbursts? E-mail them to me at [e-mail]

[Agent P]

WWE NXT
October 26, 2010
LIVE! From An Undisclosed Location

by Emerson Witner

Quote of the week: They (Goldust & Aksana) are getting married in the most romantic city in America...Bridgeport, Connecticut!"-Josh Matthews

SPOILER: Click to show

It is officially week 2 of the Emerson Witner era of NXT reviews. No, Maxine vs Kaitlyn was not enough to scare me off.

So off to the show...

This is the Halloween edition of NXT, so all of our lovely wannabe Diva's are in costume. AJ comes out first dressed like Raphael the Ninja Turtle, which was a running conversation throughout the show. Naomi comes out as the Hamburger Helper glove. Maxine is an Ice Queen, which looked more like an outfit that Maria used to wear. Aksana is dressed as the devil and Kaitlyn, in the best costume of the night, is dressed as Vickie Guerrero.

Going into the first competition of the night Naomi has 3 victories, AJ has 1 and the rest were shut out.

Each Rookie had 15 seconds to impress the audience. Aksana spun in a circle and played with her hair.

Maxine threatened to pour cold water on Matt Striker.

Kaitlyn did the Vickie Guerrero "Excuse Me" routine, before falling on her butt and throwing a Vickie-like temper tantrum.

Naomi then told the Dave Chapelle joke where she asked Matt what did the 5 fingers say to the face before slapping him. She then spent 15 seconds doing a commercial for Hamburger Helper. If you think I am joking or lying, please feel free to watch the video.

AJ continued the tradition of attacking Matt by trying to attack him with her weapons.

Kaitlyn, of course, is the run away victor, with AJ coming in second.

Matt throws it back to "Todd Pettengill and Sean Mooney".

Ted DiBiase and Maryse have arrived at the building. Maryse does not want to be there. DiBiase is here to get his belt back.

Naomi (w/Kelly Kelly) vs Maxine (w/Alicia Fox)

Both Diva's wrestled in costume, which means, yes, Naomi wrestled in her giant Hamburger Helper Glove. Maxine made the challenge after the "controversial" ending to the prestigious Limbo contest last week.

A minute into the match Tony Chimel is so bored he brings Cole & Josh a dvd copy of Knucklehead for them to watch. Josh warns him not to read the script on the air.

The ladies fight to the outside where Maxine throws Naomi into the table and then the barricade. The referee didn't bother to attempt to count either of them out.

Maxine gets a pair of 2 counts, before Naomi takes over with a jaw jacker and a clothesline. Michael Cole mentions he likes Tuna Helper. Josh allegedly has never eaten it.

Naomi picks up the win with a headbutt.

Winner: Naomi
Time: 3:39

Backstage Aksana is worried about next weeks wedding, Goldust doesn't care as much until "U.S. Immigration" comes in and reminds them that if they do not get married next week Aksana will be deported.

Knucklehead is on DVD November 9 and WrestleMania tickets go on sale November 13.

Brie Bella (w/Nikki) vs AJ (w/Primo)

It was explained that Nikki was angry with Brie over Brie moving to New York City, leaving Brie all alone on the West Coast.

AJ took off the turtle shell, unfortunately, before the match started. Brie takes control after an early flurry by AJ. Brie may have been the best female worker tonight. Yeah I know that's not saying much.

Nikki yells at Brie as AJ takes the advantage with a double boot to the face. Remember that spin kick that Great Khali used to do that everyone complained was horrible? Well AJ pulled it out and it was ten times worse then Khali's version.

AJ dives onto poor Brie's head for a one count. With the ref distracted Nikki pulls Brie out and enters the ring herself. One X-Factor later and Brie technically wins!

Winner: Brie Bella (Nikki made the pin)
Time: 4:15

Brie is not too happy with the result.

Backstage Maryse still wants to leave and Ted still wants to stay. Such riveting internet. Ya know, Virgil never would have lost the belt.

Last night's Stand Up For WWE commercial aired again. The Bellas looked even less alike here then normal.

The second contest is a candy eating contest, which was exactly as it sounds. Whoever at the most amount of candy in a minute wins. For this epic competition we needed two referees, Matt Striker and Hornswoggle all there as judges.

My brilliant idea was Naomi should stick candy down her giant hand.

Somehow, someway Maxine wins the contest, despite everyone claiming Hornswoggle was taking candy off her plate.

Kaitlyn began choking on her candy, Vickie yelled at her to swallow. Hornswoggle gave the Heimlich maneuver, which caused Kaitlyn to spit up on Vickie.

Backstage Vickie is screaming at the top of her lungs as Dolph Ziggler warns Kaitlyn not to enter. Vickie yells for Dolph, but not before Dolph compliments Kaitlyn on her outfit.

Ted DiBiase & Maryse vs Goldust & Aksana

Before I begin, I would like to point out that during the entire match the heels corner was about 10 feet away from the Million Dollar Belt.

Maryse and Aksana began the match, which was two minutes of Maryse slapping her opponent and yelling at her. Aksana was wrestling in heels, one of which broke during the match.

Josh and Michael question why Aksana is wrestling so soon to her wedding date. If I remember correctly Test wrestled Triple H an hour before he almost married Stephanie McMahon, and hell Steph wrestled Vince 6 days before her real life wedding to Triple H.

DiBiase tags himself in and the men pick the pace up with some fast paced wrestling. Ted gets the heat and takes Goldust outside and slams him into the table. Now Ted is 4 feet away from the belt, his opponent is down, but Ted is a sportsman and is determined to finish the match.

Goldust eventually makes an ice cold hot tag to Aksana who reverses Maryse's DDT attempt into a small package for the win.

Winners: Goldust & Aksana
Time: 6:40

After the match, Ted attacks Goldust and grabs the belt. Aksana grabs it from Ted. Ted grabs it from Aksana and Goldust recovers and grabs it from Ted, lays him out and leaves with the title belt still in their possession.

So that's it. Once again all I can see is at least I am not reviewing Impact.

The voting begins Wednesday at Noon.

And as always if you have any questions, comments, concerns or emotional outbursts, send 'em my way at [e-mail]

[Agent P]

WWE NXT
November 2, 2010
LIVE! From Bridgeport, Connecticut.

Quote Of The Week: "Hornswoggle is the Daniel Bryan of NXT." -Michael Cole

SPOILER: Click to show

Before the show started I found out Richard Blumenthal defeated Linda McMahon. Here is a random useless stat. Way back in Season one of Gilmore Girls, Rory's best friend Lane had a crush on a boy named Rich Blumenthal. Now that I have lowered the IQ of the 19 people who read this...

Michael Cole is wearing a t-shirt with a design of a tuxedo, which made me think of Nikolai Volkoff during his 1994 comeback.

We start the same way we start every week, Pinky, by bringing out the NXT Rookie Diva's. Everyone is in a formal dress, but AJ decides to wear her wrestling boots instead of heels, which may have been the smartest idea of the night.

Going into tonight's contests Naomi has 3 wins, AJ, Kaitlyn and Maxine have 1 and Aksana, the bride to be has 0. Matt allows Aksana to go to the back and get ready for the wedding since she has no hope of immunity.

We open with a Kissing Contest and take a wild guess who is brought out for the ladies to kiss? If you didn't guess Hornswoggle right away you take this show a little too seriously.

Kaitlyn is first and drops to her knees. if Hornswoggle wasn't three feet tall that would sound so wrong. But Hornswoggle jumps into her arms for the kiss and Kaitlyn, surprised, pushes him off after a few seconds.

Maxine refuses to kiss Hornswoggle (or Matt for that matter) and tells the final Cruiserweight Champion to leave, which he does.

Out comes Dashing Cody Rhodes, which admittedly is probably a better choice to kiss then Hornswoggle.

Cody is here for his brothers wedding later tonight, but offers to be a fill in. Kaitlyn gets a do over, but admits she never kissed 2 different men in the same night before kissing Cody.

Maxine only allows Cody to kiss her hand.

Naomi, knowing that guaranteed immunity is on the line, refuses to let Cody's lips touch her. Cody replies by saying she has a big ass.

AJ is nervous, Cody was nice enough to pull out a nail file and file her nails. Now do you all remember back in Tough Enough when Mae Young jumped into Daniel Puder's arms before kissing him? Well AJ did the same to Cody, which led to a similar result: a win for AJ!

30 seconds later AJ and Primo are suddenly backstage. I know I made fun of the competitions for saying they prove that the wannabe's are smart, sexy and powerful, but damn, these girls have some serious witchcraft going on here.

Anyway AJ tells Primo that she wants to tell him something in private. They enter the first room to find Dusty Rhodes with his arms around The Bella Twins, who are not fighting this week. So Dusty goes from Tracy and Trinity in TNA to the Bellas in WWE. Wow.

It's now time for the wrestling portion of the evening.

Alicia Fox vs Kelly Kelly

This night has to be a rib on John Laurinaitis. The story goes that 4 or 5 years ago John was looking through a lingerie catalog and found models named Victoria Crawford and Barbie Blank and signed them to developmental deals. Well, fast forward to 2010 and Victoria (Alicia) and Barbie (Kelly) are squaring off here on NXT.

Kelly with a Thesz Press to start things off, which amazingly lead to the crowd chanting "Kel-ly!". K-squared with a tilt a whirl head scissors take down, but gets thrown to the outside by Alicia.

Alicia keeps telling the ref to count her out while at the same time breaking up the count. Not that the ref cared, because he just kept counting.

Michael and Josh discuss Facebook, Social Network and Taylor Swift during this match as Alicia misses the Scissors Kick, but gets planted with a Rocker Dropper so Kelly picks up the victory!

Winner: Kelly Kelly
Time: 2:01

This concludes the wrestling portion of the evening. Seriously.

Backstage AJ and Primo enter another dressing room, this time finding Maxine and Hornswoggle making out. Keep in mind she wouldn't do this to try to get immunity.

Back to the ring for the final competition: the Wedding Gift Scramble. If AJ wins we have a tie for first, if anyone of the other three win, Naomi wins immunity.

There is a huge stack of presents, inside one is a yellow flag. Whomever finds it wins.

How long did it take you to read that last sentence? Well that's how long it took for the contest as Kaitlyn wins the contest, handing immunity to Naomi.

They aired the Stand Up For WWE video featuring the second and third generation wrestlers. This was a really good video. And I would love to see videos like this continue even though Linda lost.

Backstage Primo and AJ are standing near a giant chest used to move the production equipment when it starts shaking. They look to the other side and there is Dolph Ziggler kissing Kaitlyn.

Of course Vickie is furious and she runs to the back and shoves Kaitlyn. At this moment 2 men, one of whom may have been Big Dick Johnson, walk by carrying a cake. Kaitlyn grabs it and throws it on Vickie.

Up next is the wedding. Dusty and Cody come out first to stand as groomsmen.

Hornswoggle comes out as the ring bearer. Ya know at least Hornswoggle and Goldust have a history together.

Goldust enters to his ring entrance theme in a snazzy suit carrying the Million Dollar Title. Aksana was next and wow. She looked amazing in a short gold dress.

Josh Matthews, who claimed the preacher was Al Wilson (Torrie's father who "died" after having a lot of sex with Dawn Marie after they got married in 2003.), informed Michael that this wasn't a real wedding and was only a storyline.

Since this show is busy making references no one is gonna get, I'd like to steal a line from Triple H and say "Hi Steph". Back to the wedding...

Just when I thought this show couldn't get much better, the preacher asked if anyone objects to them marrying. Instead of hearing "I come from money..." we get the preacher objecting to the wedding. Yes the preacher has sold out to Ted DiBiase!

Ted comes out and tells Goldust that the only way he will let the wedding go on is if Goldust hands back the Million Dollar Title. Aksana refuses to let him so Ted brings out Agent Dickopopolis to get Aksana.

Before that could happen though, Dusty takes the mic and says he had a feeling something like this was gonna happen. He searched high and low to find a new minister. I was personally expecting Slick for some reason, but instead he brings out the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase!

Ted Sr informs his son that the reason he did this was just so he could see the look on his son's face. That was nice of him.

Ted Sr is an ordained minister, a fact that Michael Cole makes mention of. Ted weds them and tells Goldust he may now kiss his bride. Before he could do so, Dusty swoops in and kisses Aksana.

In case this wedding hasn't been crazy enough, Aksana then slaps Goldust, turns heel, and walks away!

To the back! Or to commercial.

We come back and find out that Maxine, of all people, have been eliminated. She should have kissed Horswoggle when it counted. Alicia begins pouting on the stage.

Maxine says she is not the typical woman and she will be back.

We have 4 more weeks of NXT left and we are done for tonight!

And as always, if you have any questions, comments, concerns or emotional outbursts, send them my way to [e-mail]

[Agent P]

WWE NXT
November 9, 2010
LIVE (on a tape delay of about 7 hours) from Manchester, England

by Emerson Witner


Quote Of The Week: "If they send me back, they will hit me with shovels!" -Aksana

SPOILER: Click to show

With four weeks remaining in the contest and a week before the next elimination, NXT kicks off with Matt Striker attempting to introduce the Diva's when, instead, Goldust came out.

Goldust has tried all week to contact Aksana by calling and texting her. I guess going up to her on the long flight from Connecticut to England last week was too much.

Aksana came out and admitted to being a gold digger because once they get divorced then she gets half of the Million Dollar Title belt. That would be all fine and dandy if the belt actually belonged to Goldust.

Anyhoo, Naomi came out and challenged Aksana to a match later tonight, and that is our main event, ladies and gents.

Our first competiton is an arm wrestling tournament. We are reminded to go to WWE.com to vote as next week we will have our next elimination.

AJ vs Aksana sees Aksana win pretty easily. Naomi vs Kaitlyn sees Kaitlyn surprisingly win this one.

Aksana kept trying to pull Kaitlyn's hair during the final and either got disqualified or beat. Her hand was pretty close to being put down when the ref called it off.

During this incredibly exciting contest, Michael Cole fell asleep at the table and Josh compared this to the movie Over The Top.

Nikki Bella vs AJ

Michael Cole has awakened for the first match-up of the evening. For those of you who forget which Bella is which, Nikki is the one with the attitude now that Brie has moved to New York. But Nikki is only angry during NXT, as they get along swimmingly on Raw.

AJ apparently reminds Josh Matthews of a young Josh Matthews. Michael Cole wondered if Josh was once a girl.

WWE Senior Official Mike Chioda refereed this contest. The guy has been refereeing 21 years and he gets stuck on NXT.

A back and forth little contest. Nikki pulls AJ off the middle rope for a 2 count and gets another 2 with a suplex.

AJ kicks Nikki's leg out of her...leg, but gets clotheslined to the mat for her troubles.

At this point there was an announcement over the PA system that the security code had been reset. This got the loudest reaction of the night.

Nikki ends up outside the ring and tells Brie to go in. Brie is reluctant and Primo catches them and points it out to the referee.

Nikki gets back in, argues with Primo and gets rolled up for the win!

Winner: AJ
Time: 4:34

A new Stand Up For WWE video aired, this time talking about how the WWE is like a family. My only reaction was "Damn! Joey Styles got old!"

The big question at Survivor Series: WWJCD? What Will John Cena Do? They should make a t-shirt.

The next contest is the High School Photo Challenge where photo's of various Superstars in high school are shown. Most, like John Morrison, Mark Henry, Chavo Guerrero and Jack Swagger were so obvious that someone shoulda been smacked if they got it wrong. They also had a photo of Jerry Lawler that no one got right.

Anyway, AJ won this contest, giving her and Kaitlyn one win a piece.

Backstage Vickie confronts Kaitlyn and comments that she is more woman then Kaitlyn could ever dream of being. Kaitlyn replies Vickie has a fat ass, so Vickie slammed her face-first into the table.

Naomi vs Aksana

Yes, it is now time for the Main Event. A simmering rivalry that was just 45 minutes old! An epic encounter of good and evil where one will be called winner and one will be called loser.

Aksana comes out to the NXT theme, which I am happy to report is not stuck in my head.

Goldust comes out to stand in Naomi's corner.

Naomi with a rollup to start and then hit a legdrop for a 2-count.

At this point Naomi sent Aksana into the ropes. As Aksana came back, Naomi turned around and jumped in the air for a leap frog, but Aksana dropkicked her in the butt. My first reaction to that was "What the hell was that?"

Aksana pays tribute to Lance Storm by going for a Half Crab, but Lance is somewhere shaking his head as Naomi gets out of it easily.

Aksana has been watching too many JBL tapes as she nails a brutal looking Clothesline From Hell for a 2 count before slapping the Half Crab back on.

Naomi channels her inner-mid-1990's mid card acts by doing a Savio Vega Spinning Wheel Kick, before taking Aksana right down 110th Street with the Harlem Side Kick for the win.

Winner: Naomi
Time: 5:26

That's it for this week! Remember to vote for who you would like to see kicked off NXT.

And if you have any questions, comments, concerns or emotional outbursts, e-mail them to me at [e-mail].

[Agent P]

WWE NXT
November 16, 2010
LIVE! From Somewhere!

by Emerson Witner

Random Stupid Quote Of The Week: "Striker, eliminate all of them and we'll have two weeks off!" -said by who else? Michael Cole.

SPOILER: Click to show

Yep, we are 2 weeks away from the season finale of NXT. Is it the series finale? Damned if I know. Onto the show!

How are we gonna start the show tonight, Emerson?

The same way we start the show every week, Figure Four Empire, by having Matt Striker call all the Wannabe's into the ring.

We start the night with our first competition. There is no better way to describe it but Match Game NXT! Only instead of Betty White, Richard Dawson, Brett Summers and Charles Nelson Riley we have the four pro's who represent the Rookies.

The jist of the game is Striker would ask the Pro's a question, they would write down the answer and the Rookies tried to guess what they said.

Okay, it's more like the Newlywed Game, but Match Game was better.

Anyway...

1.) When I first saw my rookie, I thought she was...

AJ: Underage
Primo: 16 years old

Aksana: Hot
Goldust: Sexy

Kaitlyn: "...so much better looking then me (Vickie)"
Vickie: A man.

Naomi: Athletic
Kelly: Athletic

So all but Kaitlyn got a point.

2.) On a scale of 1-5, grade your Rookie's in ring ability. Uh huh...

Naomi: 5 (Seriously?)
K-Squared: 5 (Seriously!?)

Kaitlyn: 1
Vickie: 3

Aksana: 5
Goldust: 3

AJ: 4
Primo: 4

So AJ and Naomi have 2 each as we head to the final question...

3.) Who does your rookie think should be eliminated?

Michael Cole held up a sign saying Stop The Pain.

AJ: Aksana
Primo: Aksana

Kaitlyn: Naomi
Vickie: Naomi

Aksana: Kaitlyn
Goldust: AJ

Naomi: Aksana
Kelly: Kaitlyn
　
So AJ wins this contest and now has 2 wins to Kaitlyn's 1.

Naomi vs Kaitlyn

Naomi hits a dropkick to start things, but Kaitlyn delivers a Bubba Bomb for a 2 count, followed by a Body Scissors.

Josh asks Cole how he could make fun of JR, who is such a nice man.

Kaitlyn with a rear chin lock as the crowd comes alive to get behind Naomi! Sorta. Anyway Kaitlyn misses the big leg, so she watched a Brother Ray match and not a Hulk Hogan match? Sheesh.

Naomi with a Spinning Wheel Kick and a Cross Body Block off the top rope for a 2, but picks up the win with a kick to the face.

Winner: Naomi
Time: 3:37

Vickie and Kaitlyn argue all the way...to the back!

Aksana gives Goldust some flowers and asks him nicely to come to the ring with her. That's nice. Even nicer, Goldust accepts.

I have now seen the Knucklehead DVD commercial enough to have it memorized.

WrestleMania tickets are now on sale. I got mine, did you get yours?

AJ vs Aksana

As Aksana and Goldust make their way to the ring, Goldust throws the flowers down and stays at the top of the ramp.

AJ shows why she deserves a 4 by doing a Hair Mare and a headlock takeover. Hey at least one of them were good.

Aksana with a head scissors and eventually throws AJ to the outside. Aksana, being the classy lady that she is, holds the ropes open for AJ...but oh no! Aksana then throws her back outside...before expending the energy of going outside to roll AJ back in.

Michael Cole receives a phone call from Joey Styles of all people. Cole tries to get Joey's voice to be picked up over the mic, but alas, they can't do it.

Joey, by the way, Tweeted who got eliminated before the end of the show.

Aksana with an Inner Thigh Shot (see, Jericho, those do exist!) before applying a wacky backwards Boston Crab.

AJ battles back and applies the move forever known as the "Great Submission Hold" ( (tm) Josh Matthews) for the tapout!

Winner: AJ
Time: 3:54

Up next is Diss The Diva. Remember the 04 Diva Search and Carmella was called every name in the book? I don't think this will be anywhere close to that.

Each contestant has a minute to diss the other three.

AJ is out of breathe, but Aksana tapped out, Kaitlyn stole her shoes and Naomi has the personality of a dripping faucet.

Aksana told Kaitlyn to stop laughing at her, Naomi to stop trying to take her husband and "Tiny Spicy" (AJ) should go back to Kindergarten.

Kaitlyn compared them to a high school class. AJ was the nerd, Aksana was the weird Foreign Exchange student, Naomi was the star athlete and she was the Prom Queen. Aksana apparently disagreed as she tackled Kaitlyn to the ground.

Michael Cole asked if Johnny Ace was gonna try separating them and trip over the bottom rope again.

Naomi said Kaitlyn has nice legs and little else.

Naomi won. Well Kaitlyn does have nice legs.

AJ, however, does win Immunity for having 2 victories.

Michael Cole got up to talk to some fans at ringside. See, WWE personalities care about the fans!

I think this review is already longer then the Raw review.

An awesome video package building up Wade Barrett vs Randy Orton aired. Why didn't this air on Raw? Seriously, this thing was really good.

Back on stage Matt Striker asked the Bella's how they make their decision on who to vote for. Brie tried to be diplomatic, but Nikki grabbed the mic and said she is looking for someone with class and respect.

Alicia Fox said she feels like she runs Diva Day Care and doesn't think the Wannabe's can match up.

Who's going home? No, Jim Neidhart is safe, but Aksana isn't!

Aksana is the next one eliminated. She "collapses" on the ground and then said she is going to Vince McMahon's office to write a letter. All the good that will do since he is in a coma.

As Aksana walks away Goldust stops her and serves her with divorce papers. Couldn't he have just gotten it annulled?

Anyway, that's it for perhaps the longest NXT review ever. If you are still reading this, good for you!

Any questions, comments, concerns or emotional outbursts, send them my way at [e-mail]